It is true, I make a great lover. I've been known to sweep the lovely Joanie (Lt. Harrington to you) off her feet whenever I'm on Moonbase. But I have another passion that not many know about: I love fat women. Yes, fat women. Their Raphaelesque figures give me an erection just at the thought. And if they have moustaches and hairy legs even better. I think I must be thinking about the women I left behind in the Old Country. Oh, you don't really think Doug Jackson is my real name, do you? My real name is a secret that I only tell to my best lovers...some of which have been the silver-suited boys on Moonbase. Shhhh, don't tell. That's a secret I keep as my quiet pleasure.