Please check out my blog "Please Read and Sign" it is full of Petitions to help STOP animal cruelty!! Or click on one of the many links to sites where you could write letters to your government about animal conservation, donate money to charity or maybe get help for yourself or a family member
About Me
I have been battling demons within myself since I was about 11 or 12 years old!! When I was younger I suffered form childhood obesity. I hated that I was called fat. I also hated watching TV and seeing all the skinny actresses and singers because it was not me!! I decided I needed to do something. I started to exercise. The exercise worked because I went from a size 15-16 to a size 12-13. However, as I continued to watch TV, I became obsessed with looking like the celebrities. I began to compulsively exercise, exercising three times a day every day!! I also cut out a lot of foods. I basically went from a lifestyle of no exercise and no diet to a lifestyle of compulsively exercising and under eating. I was, however, in about a six month span down to size 0-2. I was so skinny. I had absolutely NO curves at all. At this time in my life I was about to enter High School. As I entered High School I became very self-conscious of how I looked again. I hated that there were girls all around me, my age developing and I barely fit into a training bra!! I started to eat unhealthy again. I ate Oreo cookies for breakfast and more junk food for lunch. This too did the trick and by my Sophomore year, I had a few more curves and I fit into about a size 6-8. It would take years before I would be on a steady diet and exercise plan, but finally I would get there!!
When I was seventeen my daughter was born. While it is not easy to have a child young, I have to say my daughter is the light of my life and a true Blessing from God. I graduated from High School through the school age mother program and I went on to college and received two associates degrees. I received grants, which many single parents are eligible for. These grants cut my tuition by more than half. I also went on to intern at our local public defenders and work in law firms. I am currently pursuing a bachelors degree. I would like to be either a teacher or a counselor. I say all that only as words of encouragement to other young parents. There has been so much said about the recent news on Jamie Lynn Spears and a lot of it is just cruel. Here are just a few of the comments people are posting all over the internet about her:
-Can we say trailer park trash. Period.
-HILLBILLY TRASH! WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?!! REALLY
-Not a surprise.....I hope they cancel her show because she is a POOR EXCUSE OF A PERSON....
-Your life as you know it is over, when you finally grow up, you will realize that you became a poster child of premarital sex, and are trying to make that acceptable with young teens! I hope you learn from your mistake!!!!
-If they are christian then wat the hell is her problem it says in the bible that u can not have sex untill your married which means she is not a good christian
To those statements I say it is great that she did not run to the abortion clinic and I intend to pray for her and her baby so that they can hopefully live stable healthy lives. People just go into attack mode. People do not look at themselves. How many parents will not be putting their kids to bed tonight because they are too busy adding to their fortune at that big corporate job (I have seen this first hand)? Who are the real sinners here the young girl who is not only keeping her baby but also facing the world's backlash because of her decisions or all those casting their verbal and written stones at her? So to all the young parents I say there is help out there, just make sure to always believe in your self.
Back To My Story:
I also married at the age of 17. We were both young and battling our own demons within ourselves, so this marriage was destined for disaster. The relationship was plagued with some physical and much mental abuse. However, I need to say I hold no ill will towards anyone who hurt me, all is forgiven. I am also openly and publicly saying that I AM SORRY to anyone I have hurt at anytime!!
During the separation and after the divorce I dated men and I let these men use me. What I have come to learn was that these relationships were not healthy for me. I think those relationships just fueled depression and loneliness. For the past few years I became very distrusting and cynical. I lost myself. I was not really me anymore. You know that old saying the glass is half full, well to me I would say that shit is almost gone so just move on. I was not able to trust anyone and I had no faith in human kind. I wallowed in my own self-pity often. I was a total unfeeling Bitch, well only on the outside. On the inside I felt everything! I felt every bad word I had ever been called, I felt all the pain of every bad/unhealthy/abusive relationship I have ever been in and I felt so lonely and depressed even though I had family and friends. I thought all of my depression was due to seasonal depression, but when I found myself looking out the window on a June day I knew it must be something else. My past was haunting me. I felt broken, but how or who could fix me?
I was never overly religious. I went to a Catholic school and I would go to church with my family because I was told to. I believed in God and Jesus and the Saints, but honestly I only believed in them because people told me I would go to Hell if I didn't. Religion did not really mean much to me and as I got older and I got away from religion. I eventually stopped going to church and no longer cared about the concept of Heaven or Hell. However, I was still plagued by my past. I was carrying so much pain in the form of guilt and shame. Finally I gave up. I decided to go to confessions and light a candle. I felt like this weight had been lifted off of me. I felt loved. I felt Jesus. Yes I felt Jesus! This concept of Jesus no longer became just a belief but a true feeling of unconditional love. It was such a surreal felling to realize that with all my mistakes, imperfections, and lack of faith in human kind and God himself, I was still forgiven and loved. This experience has changed me for the better. I have a new respect for nature and I am much happier in my own skin, but the thing I am most proud of is that I made peace with myself. I needed to learn to let go of my past and that is what I did. I went to God and I let go. Jesus took my shame and guilt and replaced it with love. I felt loved and accepted by Jesus so finally I could love and accept myself for the first time in my entire life!
I also had a vision of Jesus. One morning I was lying in bed. I was not asleep, but I just did not feel like getting out of bed yet. I closed my eyes and I saw white and blue everywhere. This looked just like the sky on a beautiful spring day. I was standing in the midst of all of this. I had my head down. I lifted my eyes slightly and I could see a man dressed in white in the distance. I kept my head down, but I walked toward this man. When I reached this man, he put his hand under my chin and lifted my head, but before I could see this man’s face my vision had ended. I know this was Jesus. As I stated above Jesus took my guilt and shame, but Jesus wanted me for some reason to literally see my shame being lifted from me so I could hold my head high!!!
Does this mean I am a saint? No. Do I still sin? Yes, but I learn from it, then ask for forgiveness in hopes of never repeating it again. Do I trust everyone? Well no but I am trying to trust more. Do I forgive everyone? Well not immediately, but in time and with help from prayer I forgive. I say all this to show I am human just like everyone else, I am not perfect, no one is and that is ok.
There is MUCH MUCH more to my story than this, but I'll save that for the book :):) I would love to someday write a book incorporating my life story into a Christian self-help book. I might ask the writing team at my college to see if they can help me make this possible!!
I know this page seems pretty complex. I go from animal conservation to religion but this is me I am very complex and I am not capable of having just one passion. I love to write whatever may be on mind. In conclusion I leave you with this, I have heard people say what has anyone else really done for me (I have said this myself)? Well I say to that statement a man suffered and died for me then he gave me unconditional love (even when I didn't think I deserved it) and not just me but he really does love EVERYONE!
I decided to create this myspace page to help both animals and people. All living things were created by God and are beautiful. Occasionally, however help is needed, so if anyone needs someone to talk to or if anyone would like more information on animal conservation or any other reason just send me a message.
So if there is anyone that is in need of someone to talk to please feel free to send me a message because I know what it is like to deal with depression and loneliness and overcoming these feelings as well!!
If there are any teen moms or soon to be moms out there that would like to talk please send me a message, I would be glad to lend a helpful ear or share more of my story.
Over the years I have been called many hurtful, mean and degrading names, I have been threatened, but I have come to learn that the most powerful words that I have ever heard are JESUS LOVES YOU!!!
The Circle of life is so important, each species plays an important role, but unfortunately species are disappearing in the wild. The extinction of a species affects everything, even humans. Each animal plays an important role in keeping the ecosystem in balance. If a top predator goes extinct then the animals they prey on -which are usually herbivores- will overpopulate. Eventually, they too will run out of food because plants can only grow so fast -especially when humans also play a part in deforestation- this in turn will cause these animals to suffer and so on and so forth. We have to stop this constant taking and start giving back. It is not only animals that are facing extinction, but some scientists are predicting that in a hundred years there will not be enough natural resources in the world for everyone. So then what? What do you do when there is nothing left to take? Stop the process now, go to one of the many sights listed on this page to see what you can to do help.
Sadly Pictures like these are seen far more often than notPlease help bring an end to the brutal and illegal practice of poaching.
Miscellaneous facts:
- Mean number of people killed by sharks worldwide: 4.2
Number of sharks killed annually for their fins: up to 73 million!! (National Wildlife Federation)
- A recent report predicts that two-thirds of the world’s polar bears-including all bears in Alaska-will disappear by 2050. (National Wildlife Federation)
- In the past 100 years, the number of tigers has been reduced by 95 percent. (World Wildlife Fund)
- Worldwide it is estimated only 5,000 to 7,000 individual tigers now remain in the wild. (World Wildlife Fund)
- It is estimated that as few as 1,600 pandas remain in the wild today. (World Wildlife Fund)
- Since 1980, climate change may have wiped out as many as 112 species of amphibians throughout the world (the Washington Post)
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