I'm greedy and have no shame. Hence this:
But I'm also a manly man because I'm so goddam manly!
Ahem, okay, on a more serious note . . .
Tell the maestro to wake the musicians
and start that sad waltz in A-Flat.
I used to be mad as a hatter
but now I am sane as a hat.
I've crossed the Bridge of Lost Virtues
I've slept in the Hostel of Sighs
but I can't find the Letters of Transit
that will unlock the gate of your thighs
From "The Golem Will Dance with the Goyim," a work-in-progress.
I look much younger than I am, which means I can always win you a stuffed animal at the
"Guess Your Age" booth at the county fair, no matter how rigged the games with rings and balls and air rifles are. My high school yearbook photo ages at a much greater rate than I do.
The most traumatic experience of my adult life was the day I was Stalked By Clowns. My friend Anne and I are mentioned by name in SANDMAN. My artwork has been banned in Canada and my fiction has been pulled from the shelves at K-Mart. I've met Iron Chef Morimoto and eaten his sushi. I think that Kate Winslett and Maggie Cheung are the sexiest contemporary actresses. When I was 7 years old, there were 49 different reptiles and amphibians living in my room. I can say "good evening to you, fair lady" in Gaelic and "I hope you fall down while walking!" in Cantonese.
I'm the author of two published novels, MORDRED'S CURSE and MERLIN'S GIFT, which are now out of print but readily available from Amazon.com resellers. My short novella "Geraldine" in Poppy Z. Brite's anthology LOVE IN VEIN still gets me fan mail (and royalty checks) a decade after I wrote it. I'm also wrting the English language version of the manga-derived novel BLOOD INJECTOR KARIN for Tokyo Pop, but that's work-for-art, not "art" (not that anything I do is necessarily "art"). Despite this modicum of success (yeah, right), I must pay my bills by working at FedEx Kinko's, an experience which is going into my novel-in-progress CUSTOMER SERVICE.
The most important thing I ever learned from my parents was not to give them any more money.
I also draw a bit, and "paint" with photoshop. I'm always looking for new venues in which to display my work.
