I'm from Iowa, I only work in Outer Space. Born in Riverside, Iowa. Wanted to go into space for as long as I can remember. Enrolled in Starfleet Academy as soon as I was able & graduated in the top 5 percent of my class (I'm still the ONLY cadet who ever beat the Kobayashi Maru scenario! :)) Became the youngest captain in the fleet, and I've done pretty well for myself since - The Palm Leaf of Axanar; Grankite Order of Tactics, Class of Excellence; Prentaries Ribbon of Commendation, Classes First and Second; Medal of Honor; Silver Palm, with Cluster; Starfleet Citation of Gallantry; Karagite Order of Heroism; 3 times wounded, honor roll. I'm also the guy who suggested Starfleet HQ make all the women wear miniskirts (You're welcome).
I love my life as a starship captain. You get to fly around the galaxy, seek out new life and new civilizations, and then force them to conform to your own personal morality. You get into cool fistfights and you get to talk malevolent computers into blowing themselves up. And, if you're lucky, you might even bag a few hot broads along the way! But don't worry, ladies, my ship's doctor has cleared up 90-95% of the strange new venereal diseases I've picked up in my travels.
The job DOES have a few downsides, though. Like when a transporter accident creates an evil double of you and he tries to rape your yeoman. Or when your first officer goes into his mating drive and you end up having to fight him to the death. Or when your brother and his family are killed by neural parasites. Or when, in order to prevent Hitler winning WWII, your true love gets run over by a truck. Those are what you might call "off" days. But thankfully, they're few and far between.
I've always known I'll die alone. Well, ok, not ALWAYS, sometimes there's some bald British guy standing next to me. But a good 85-90% of the time, I'm alone.
