Tim profile picture

Tim

Let's do this.

About Me

I'm a nice guy who doesn't do crystal meth and one day I'd like to be king of something. I've basically lived my life following very simple guidelines... 1) Don't go to prison. If I do, big guys will make me do bad things. 2) Don't get burned by lava. There's nothing good about it, so I'd just rather avoid it all together. 3) If you're making popsicles with an icecube tray, tooth picks, and OJ...don't get your hopes up too high. Also, you know that song, "Highway to the Danger Zone"? Kenny Logins wrote it, not me....That's a promise.

My Interests

These are some of the things I like. Old cartoons with a lesson at the end. Japanese robots. Japanese vending machines. Japan. Chicago. Making photoshop masterpieces. Hugo: Man of a Thousand Faces. Being Irish and Hungarian. No rain unless I can sleep in and or nap during it. Jacket weather. Creepy things. Avoiding being ambushed. Horror movies. Grinding my own coffee. Kingdom Hearts. Showering. Breaking curses. Treasure hunting. Mounting expeditions to find the Yeti. Guitar Hero...actually, I love guitars in general. Teriyaki beef jerky. Mary Blair illustrations. Houses with libraries as long as that library has a secret passageway. Making old man noises when I stand after sitting for a long time. Video installations. Theme parks. Watching TV. Creativity. Finding new bands on iTunes. Dial Soap. Going out and pretending Im not going to have another drink when I know I totally am. Swearing...I really love swearing. Trophy Wife, The Lusty Horde and improv in general. Great white sharks. Concept Art. Ghosts. Seeing someone at the height of confidence and bravado get embarassed. Tuning out when people bitch about the world. CONSERVATIVE HAIRCUT and it's offshore accounts.

Right now I'm also into...my graphic design. If you need any posters made, let me know.

"Sudden Impact" by Sean Jennings

I'd like to meet:

Assholes who will only be nice to me. People with unusual skills and talents (i.e. riding a unicycle, safe cracking, etc.). Someone with an English accent. Anyone who wants to get in a shark cage with me and see great whites in San Francisco. Someone whose official job classification is "Scientist". A ghost hunter. Someone who's a "World Champ" at something. Anyone with a dog that I can be friends with. Any girl in a rock band. Someone who knows where I can get a fully restored 1971 or 72 Plymouth Roadrunner (Seriously, let me know). A baker. Someone who can read tarot cards. Anyone who knows what the following quote is from. "Look under the bed. I swear to Christ I heard a god damn Dracula." People who think marionettes are weird.

Music:

Last year I entrusted my iPod with picking the music that I listen to, provided that I load the songs ahead of time and it simply chooses them. So far, the relationship is working out.

Movies:

The Others, Jaws, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Spirited Away, D.A.R.Y.L., Big Fish, The Royal Tenenbaums, House of Wax (original), Susperia, The Life Aquatic, Blackboard Jungle, TRON, Jurassic Park, Friday the 13th, Carnival of Souls, The Last Star Fighter, Batman, Double Dragon, Halloween, Black Hole, Transformers: The Movie (animated), James and the Giant Peach, most anything by Chistopher Guest, Breakin', The Ring, Chocolate, Nightmare on Elm Street, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Aliens, The Karate Kid, All the Indiana Jones, Poltergeist, Pirates of the Caribean, Cool Hand Luke, Return of the Jedi (That's right. I'm THAT guy), Most films by Errol Morris. Troop Beverly Hills. Also, did you see Shark Attack 3? I did and it was, to quote Twain, the best film of this or any other generation. In your face Birth of a Nation.

Television:

Shows what make me learn. Anything on National Geographic or The Discovery Channel. The Sarah Silverman Program. X-Play. The Sheild. It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia. I'm actually starting to like South Park again...go figure. The Trophy Wife Weekly Podcast. Amazing Stories. Good Eats. Sunrise Earth. People's Court. Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. Shows on the Travel Channel. When reporters on cable news networks report on something for so long that they have nothing new to say and have to start making sh*t up. A Haunting. Shows that back up fictional scenarios with scientific facts like Animal Face Off or that one where they show you what the animals on earth will look like 2,000 years from now.
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Books:

Truthfully, the only book I look at with any regularity is the dictionary. I like to read Entertainment Weekly and The Week.

Heroes:

Mom and Dad, Tim Burton, Gene Wilder, Marc Davis, Mary Blair, Angus Young, Billie Joe Armstrong.

My Blog

Knock. Knock. I want to give you a PHYSICAL EXAM?!!

I haven't posted anything in a while, but a news story I just saw has forced my hand.As we speak, Oxnard police are in search of a suspect who is breaking into people's homes under one of the most rid...
Posted by Tim on Mon, 19 Nov 2007 03:34:00 PST

Keep on yapping, yappy.

Hopefully this will put all your sweaty browed fretting to an end. Yes, you can still use your cell phone hands free in the car, at least in LA. To my friends in Chicago, you haven't been able to in a...
Posted by Tim on Fri, 13 Jul 2007 02:27:00 PST

I'm sorry, Sarah Silverman

I owe someone an apology. Sarah Silverman, are you out there? Can you hear me? I have something I need to say. I'm sorry. I didn't give you any credit. For the longest time I refered to you as, "That ...
Posted by Tim on Fri, 02 Mar 2007 01:07:00 PST

Ow! My tooth!

I think I have a cavity and this is what I think it looks like in my mouth. My tooth wears gloves.
Posted by Tim on Thu, 01 Mar 2007 12:33:00 PST

People Who Will Survive The End of the World

If you've ever seen any of the Mad Max movies, then you already know that the post apocalyptic world is a tough place. It's not easy tosurvive what with all the crazy shit that's going to go down...
Posted by Tim on Mon, 26 Feb 2007 01:04:00 PST

Raising the worst generation

If you're looking at this right now, please know that I do appreciate you taking the time to read my stupid thoughts on things. What follows is a very bitter blog. If you're not interested in reading ...
Posted by Tim on Fri, 26 Jan 2007 01:28:00 PST

Seasons Greetings From - The Downys


Posted by Tim on Wed, 20 Dec 2006 06:50:00 PST

Hey, you. Don't go up Mt. Everest

You know what people love doing? Climbing Mt. Everest. I think more people are attempting to climb it now then they ever have. As many of you know, I'm all for expeditions like this. Trying to find th...
Posted by Tim on Fri, 15 Dec 2006 12:54:00 PST

Medical Insurance - The biggest scam in the world

For the last year and some change I've been paying Blue Cross over $300 a month for medical insurance. I haven't asked for much. A physical here, an appointment there. I didn't have any major surgery ...
Posted by Tim on Thu, 14 Dec 2006 07:44:00 PST

Metal Star Rocklactica OR How I ended the Britney/ K-Fed Marriage

Using the power of the Ultimate Warrior..s magic guitar ..Rockulon.., Tim and a Cylon bring about an end to the Britney/ K-Fed marriage. Their combined power not only shakes the bowels of the very God...
Posted by Tim on Fri, 10 Nov 2006 11:48:00 PST