Kevin McShane profile picture

Kevin McShane

Which is the higher priority - Kevin or the cones? The cones.

About Me

One time, back in 8th grade, Peggy Marquardt turned to me in the middle of homeroom and said, "Oh shut up, Kevin. You think you know everything, but you really don't know jack shit."

A more succint and penetrating description of me has yet to be made.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

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Biographical Data

Real Name: Kevin McShane Former Aliases: Diddy, McShizzle, McShame, The Gentleman Masher Dual Identity: Captain Jackass Occupation: Captain of a pirate ship crewed by big breasted women Identity: Publicly known Citizenship: United States of America Legal Status: No criminal record Place of Birth: Bethesda, MD Marital Status: Single Group Affliations: Lobrau Productions , Cup of Tea , Trophy Wife , Improv Olympic West Base of Operations: Los Angeles, CA First Appearance: Two Fisted Tales of Justice No. 8 (July, 1978) Education: MFA (Filmmaking), Florida State University , Class of 2002
BA (C.R.A.P.), Oberlin College , Class of 2000
High school diploma, Georgetown Prepatory School , Class of 1996

Tastes

Music: Zeppelin, Sinatra, Elvis, Wu-Tang Clan, The Black Keys Movies: Coen Bros., Wes Anderson, Howard Hawks, John Carptenter, Japanese Horror, Dickhead Comedies, and Movies Where a Motley Crew of Real Men Band Together to Overcome Impossible Odds Television: Parker Lewis Can't Lose, Insomniac, SNL, TRL, Freakazoid!, Home Movies, VH-1's Top 100 Greatest What Have You Books: David Lapham, Frank Cho, Chris Van Allsburg, Ben Edlund, Douglas Adams, and a rare little mini-comic called "Understanding Minicomics"

Physical Description

Height: 5'10" Weight/Build: 165lbs./Body Builder Eyes: Two, Blue Hair: Brown, Greying Hairline: Receeding, slowly Other Distinguishing Features: Surgical scar, lower right leg.

Powers and Abilities

Intelligence: Gifted Strength: Enhanced Human Speed: Normal Human Stamina: Superhuman (with a -wink- to the ladies) Durability: Enhanced Human Agility: Normal Human Fighting Skills: A rare combination of drunken haymakers, sucker punches, and old-timey fisticuffs Special Skills and Abilities: Ability to fix photocopiers, load dishwashers correctly, and stand in the worst spot possible at bars and nightclubs Superpowers: Superhuman ability to procrastinate Source of Superhuman Powers: Pabst Blue Ribbon, Jack Daniels, Gamma Rays View more pics | Send a message | Add to Friends | Add to Favorites

History

In 1976, Tom Curry, a lonely lighthouse keeper, rescued a woman from a hurricane. How is not important. While nursing her back to health, Curry fell in love with the woman, whose name was Atlanna. The two married and had a son, whom they named Arthur. As a child, Arthur discovered he had the ability to breathe underwater and the telepathic power to command all creatures of the sea. When Arthur was six, his mother revealed on her deathbed that she was an outcast from the then-hidden sunken city of Atlantis. With his father's help, young Arthur began training to use his unique abilities. Arthur used his remarkable aquatic superpowers to fight crime and was dubbed "Aquaman" by the media.

Kevin McShane lived across the street from Arthur.

Known allies



View all of Captain Jackasses' Allies

Known Enemies

View all of Captain Jackasses' Enemies

Current Projects

Images © 2006 Lobrau Productions Inc. All rights reserved.
Do not message me about the code necessary to make this page. I will not respond.

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Music:

All Time: Led Zeppelin, Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, Wu Tang Clan

Currently: The Black Keys, and the kickass Jimi/Janis compliation CD I made

Movies:

Coen Bros., Wes Anderson, Howard Hawks, John Carptenter, Japanese Horror, Dickhead Comedies, and Movies Where a Motley Crew of Real Men Band Together to Overcome Impossible Odds

Television:

Parker Lewis Can't Lose, Insomniac, SNL, TRL, Freakazoid!, VH-1's Top 100 Greatest What Have You

Books:

Here's where people try to impress you with the amount of shit they've read. Like if they list enough books here, they'll prove their intellect. But as Henry Rollins said, "the only people who try to impress you with their intellect are those who don't have one."

That said, I read mostly comic books and technical manuals. Take that as you will.

Heroes:

I want to have beers with Jack Burton, Kid Rock, Dave Attell, and Bill Hicks. But one is fictional, and another is dead. So there goes that dream.

My Blog

I should be working

1. Where will you be when it turns 2007?Either drunk or annoyingly not so.2. How did you get the idea for your MySpace name?Randy from My Name is Earl3. What song are you listening to right now?Stone'...
Posted by Kevin McShane on Thu, 30 Nov 2006 04:51:00 PST

Survey

1. Where were you when it turned 2006?On the phone outside Ed Lee's New Year's Party2. How did you get the idea for MySpace name?I'm a jerk and I do Toupydoops.3. What song are you listening to right ...
Posted by Kevin McShane on Wed, 25 Oct 2006 12:26:00 PST

Adult Survey

Tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids?'Have you ever kissed someone?''Missed someone?''Told someone you loved them?''Drank alcohol?'Here are some questions for the people who are a...
Posted by Kevin McShane on Wed, 30 Aug 2006 06:09:00 PST

High School Survey

Body: Fill this out about your SENIOR year of high school! The longer ago it was, the more fun the answers will be.1. Who was your best friend?Med3. What kind of car did you drive?87 Nissan Stanza Wag...
Posted by Kevin McShane on Thu, 17 Aug 2006 11:31:00 PST