Cordial greetings to my MySpace page. Take a pew and please don't nick the silver. Thank you.
I am a Bishop (don't call me Len) and it is essentially my job to help spread the 'Good News' and to discipline unruly priests.
3 priests in constant need of a good bollocking are Father Ted Crilly, Father Dougal 'Forrest Gump' McGuire and Father Jack Hackett. Due to past indiscretions they have all been exiled to Craggy Island where they have been a thorn in my side for what feels like an eternity. They have become known in certain circles within the Vatican as the cast of Police Academy. They truly are a bunch of fecking eejits, the whole fecking lot of them. Even more so than Father Dick Byrne and Father Noel Furlong, and that really is saying something.
For the past 3 years I have campaigned tirelessly to stop the release of the highly blasphemous and shockingly depraved film 'The Passion of Saint Tibulus' on DVD. Thus far I have been successful in my endeavour but it's only a matter of time before some gobshite sticks it on YouTube.
When I'm not reprimanding shite priests, or attending to business in my diocese and in the Vatican, I try to spend as much time as possible in California to help maintain a strong Catholic presence there. I feel much work needs to be done in that province and I would ask you to ignore any scurrilous rumours you may have heard as to other possible reasons for my frequent trips there. Don't go believing this nonsense about me having a son living out there. It's fecking bollox, I tell you. Trust me.
I feel I should also make a point of mentioning that I am not particularly fond of rabbits. In fact that's a monumental understatement. Some got into a lift with me once and they started to nibble at my cape... and everything. I'm still undergoing therapy for this traumatic event.
