FUN FACTS ABOUT CHRIS TORNADO
One day Chris Tornado walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.The phrase "balls to the wall" was originally conceived to describe Chris Tornado entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar.Think of a hot woman - Chris Tornado did her.Who let the dogs out? Chris Tornado let the dogs out.There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chris Tornado.Kenny G is allowed to live because Chris Tornado doesn't kill women.Chris Tornado can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.Chris Tornado went to the Virgin Islands . . . Now there just "The Islands".Chris Tornado is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape - He claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis.Chris Tornado’s sperm can penetrate 13 condoms, the birth control pill, a brick wall, and the 1975 Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line in order to impregnate a woman.Chris Tornado does not have pubic hair, he has a groin beard.Chris Tornado is the only person in history to have went black and went back.Chris Tornado lost his virginity before his dad did.Chris Tornado is not hung like a horse - horses are hung like Chris Tornado.Chris Tornado does not teabag the ladies - He potato-sacks them.When Chris Tornado has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.Chris Tornado invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.Chris Tornado is responsible for China's over-population; He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.As a teen, Chris Tornado had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chris Tornado. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.When Chris Tornado says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.It is scientifically impossible for Chris Tornado to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.Chris Tornado invented the internet. . . just so he had a place to store his porn.
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