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Brian McGuinness

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

Born and raised in Massapequa, New York, ChuckleDumper Co-Founder and stand-up comic Brian McGuinness has had comedy in his blood since birth. While most ordinary fathers were playing catch or building tree forts with their sons, Brian's dad would prop him in front of a television and make him watch old episodes of The Little Rascals and The Three Stooges. Marx Brothers movies were a weekly ritual.
At R.J. Lockhart Elementary, Brian discovered his love for entertaining audiences. Later that same day, he discovered detention. His second grade teacher, Mrs. Ditzian, proved to be prophetic when she told Brian he would "grow up to be a comedian." Like sound waves in a Caribbean steel drum, those words reverberated in Brian's head, a gentile suggestion growing into an irresistible siren song, leading him away from many more profitable and dignified career choices.
Brian graduated from Hofstra University in 2002 with a degree in Business Computer Information Systems. While there, he participated in exactly one extracurricular activity, writing for and eventually heading up Hofstra's only intentional humor magazine, Nonsense. During this period, Brian refined his cerebral wit, contributing to such highbrow classics as "Dirty Cock", "What Would Jesus REALLY Do?", and "The Shecky Chronicles". In 2002, with Brian as Editor-in-Chief, Nonsense won Hofstra University Club of the Year, shocking media critics and every female student alike.
In November of 2004, Brian burst onto the stand-up comedy scene with a spellbinding performance at Rascals Comedy Club in Montclair, New Jersey. After honing his trade for just a year, Brian was named Long Island's Funniest Person by the official comedy ranking board at McGuire's Comedy Club in Bohemia. Along with fellow comedian Dewey Banks, Brian co-produces and performs at La Boca (held monthly at Gotham Comedy Club). La Boca has some of NY's and the nations's best comics every show. Most recently, Brian was a co-founder of the comedy website, ChuckleDumper.com and ChuckleDumper Radio.
Currently, Brian performs nearly every night at clubs in New York City and all around the tri-state area.***I look up to and respect a lot of comics and I've had the pleasure to meet some of my idols in this "business" which is pretty cool. Stand-up is the best. So come to a show and have some fun.***
ALSO! You can send me an IM on AOL Instant Messenger. My screen name is Moganus

My Interests

Stand-up comedy, basketball, football, boobies, homeless people

I'd like to meet:

Conan O'Brien, Jim Carrey, Will Ferrell, Trey Parker & Matt Stone so I can laugh with them, Chewbacca so I can just say I met a wookie, Stephon Marbury so I can feel better about myself, and Mariah Carey, Tyra Banks, and Christina Milian so I can put my penis in them.

Music:

De La Soul, Tribe Called Quest, Jungle Brothers, KRS-One, Jurassic 5, Wu-Tang, 2Pac, Public Enemy, NWA, Pete Rock & CL Smooth, BDP, Beatnuts, Blackalicious, Gang Starr, Eminem, The Roots
Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Movies:

Anything from Monty Python, Ace Ventura, Anchorman, South Park, Dumb & Dumber, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Old School, Liar Liar, Office Space, Me Myself & Irene, Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie, Fifth Element, Animal House, Caddyshack, Zoolander, Mallrats, Team America: World Police, Spaceballs, Blazing Saddles, Goldmember, Airplane, Blues Brothers, V For Vendetta

Television:

South Park, Family Guy, Late Night w/ Conan O'Brien, Chappelle's Show, The Simpsons, Most things on Comedy Central, SportsCenter, Mystery Science Theater 3000, MXC: Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, In Living Color, Fear Factor

Books:

Greedy Bastard Diary by Eric Idle, anything by Monty Python or Monty Python related, Rock This by Chris Rock, Sein Language by Jerry Seinfeld, Nothing's Sacred by Lewis Black, Dirty Jokes & Beer by Drew Carey, Pure Drivel by Steve Martin, funny stuff basically.

Heroes:

Jim Carrey, Conan O'Brien, Anfernee Hardaway

My Blog

Florida Highlights

I got back from Florida last weekend, and I meant to write stuff about it, but I didn't. but now i am. Lucky you! My flight left at 8:30am from JFK, which is only a 15 minute subway ride from my house...
Posted by Brian McGuinness on Tue, 22 Apr 2008 10:01:00 PST

POPE-pouri

So the big news is that the Pope guy is doing his U.S. tour this week. He was in DC (where Bush said, "Awesome speech!" to the Pope. Does the Pope know what awesome means?), and this week he was in my...
Posted by Brian McGuinness on Mon, 21 Apr 2008 10:24:00 PST

Super Tourists

I live in NYC. There are just no way around tourists. They’re going to be there no matter what. No matter how shitty the weather is, no matter how cold it is, no matter how hot it is, and appare...
Posted by Brian McGuinness on Fri, 28 Mar 2008 07:34:00 PST

Our edumacational system is fine, son!

I tried writing this last night, but halfway thru it got erased and i threw a temper tantrum. But here's a conversation I overheard on the train last night. Extra bonus for you NBA fans out there... I...
Posted by Brian McGuinness on Thu, 21 Feb 2008 10:10:00 PST

NJ's Funniest? Indeed!

I had the PRIVILEGE (what's sarcasm?) to participate in the 1st Annual (probably not) North Jersey's Funniest Person Contest. I hate contests as a comedian, because they're really never fair. It's usu...
Posted by Brian McGuinness on Tue, 03 Apr 2007 05:52:00 PST

Lots of new stuff...

at Chuckledumper.com's blog. check it out!  
Posted by Brian McGuinness on Wed, 14 Mar 2007 12:09:00 PST

www.chuckledumper.com

I meant to do this a while ago, but all my blogs as of late have been on my OTHER website, www.chuckledumper.com so you can go click on BLOG and check it out. and there's tons of other funny stuff on ...
Posted by Brian McGuinness on Mon, 29 Jan 2007 03:37:00 PST

Another fight, Bri? OK, fine...

My commute on the way home today...so close...almost made it off the train without an incident... [I'm just standing on the platform, waiting for my transfer train. This is above ground by the way, in...
Posted by Brian McGuinness on Mon, 28 Aug 2006 08:52:00 PST

Killing

There are bad shows...there are good shows...there are horrible shows...and there are shows that make you want to just jerk off to images of yourself killing on stage when you get home. tonight was th...
Posted by Brian McGuinness on Sun, 20 Aug 2006 10:25:00 PST

White Noise = Brown Stain in my pants

Word of advice: NEVER EVER EVER start watching the movie White Noise at 12:15am. Oh my god. I have never seen such a mind fuck of a movie. If you like suspense, 6th Sense-ish type movies, but want to ...
Posted by Brian McGuinness on Thu, 20 Jul 2006 10:59:00 PST