Stand-up comedy, Writing the perfect essay on Laughter As The Best Medicine Next To A BeeJay, Ryan Cabrera's hair wax, body-weight exercises,
Green Tea, success, quality foot-wear, simple cooking, and sleeping in.
Visualizing the day my big break comes along, and nobody minds that I've rendered the lead singer of Fall Out Boy a deaf mute.
Watching Ryan Cabrera be brought down in a strip mall by a hyena and gutted near the Julius. And I think any of Ryan's "fans" who are already menstruating regularly should have to watch.
This is also about fans of Nickelback, Hinder, and the other crunch-puss bands out there. I'm coming for you.
That didn't sound right.
I'd like to meet:
People who are funny, intelligent, and have a sense of humor about life and themselves.
People who don't have MySpace accounts.
AND/OR
Somebody who can help me make money off real-estate for no money down, and it won't require me calling Squatter's Rights in someone's living room while holding a very bothered wolverine.
AND/OR
People who understand that Life isn't about carving out a niche to wallow in until they pile the dirt on top of you. It's about challenging yourself, growing from the lesson you learned, wisely applying that lesson to other areas, and sharing that lesson with others so they don't overpay their masseuse OR WHATEVER it was you did. I don't base my identity on someone else's life or achievements; I have screwed up before, I may do so again, but I don't make the same mistakes twice. Just check my paternity tests.
Music:
Your favorite band's recycled New Wave sound, ironic mustaches, jangly 1970s guitars, and wearing of girl jeans all are wonderful...
reasons for them to die in a fiery car wash accident.
Check out Rosetta Tharpe on YouTube.
I Do like... Soul Coughing, Mike Doughty, Coheed&Cambria, Zep, SRV, Motley Crue, Metallica (pre-Load), The Smiths, Morcheeba, Morphine, Alkaline Trio (thank you to Brousseau and Reeder for getting me into them), Run DMC, Dr. Dre, Snoop, Emineminem, Tool, Wu-Tang, Jay-Z, Common, Mos Def, Talib, Stevie Wonder, Shawn Colvin, Gwen Stefani, Chili Peppers, Soundgarden, Pulley (again, thank you Brousseau), Def Leppard, and pretty much anything that Killorn O'Neill wouldn't recommend. Owes me $16 for buying Muse.
And Tracy Tuffs, of course.
Movies:
The Big Lebowski, Shawshank Redemption, almost everything Tim Burton, Luc Beson is great, Antonioni, Hitchcock - The Master, Pixar, and plenty of others that listing here would be masturbatory if not a waste of time.
Television:
WWW.HAXTV.COM WWW.HAXTV.COM WWW.HAXTV.COM WWW.HAXTV.COM WWW.HAXTV.COM WWW.HAXTV.COM WWW.HAXTV.COM
and I'll watch anything with Ricky Gervais in it. Also, The Office (US version) is surprising me on a weekly basis. Sportswise, just about any college football game, most anything that has to do with football, college women's gymnastics, and Bud Light commercials.
If you aren't watching some form of "Deadwood" at every possible moment, you are missing the best TV series in the history of TV.
Books:
I've read plenty, got plenty to read.
Heroes:
My Dad, My Mom, and then some other people I've never met: Truman, Lincoln, Parks, (to be continued...)
