Mellzah profile picture

Mellzah

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me


I'm a sophisticated sex robot sent back in time to change YOUR future. Not really.
I enjoy dressing up in a cardboard and duct tape robot costume and wreaking havoc. 99% of the time this is done while extremely drunk. At other times I enjoy pretending to be a pirate.
I am a stand-up comedian based in the Seattle and Eastside areas, and there's really nothing I love more in this world than being onstage. My humor is very nerd-centric, so performing around Microsoft is working out well for me. If you're interested in booking me or would like a press packet/demo reel for future booking considerations, please contact me through myspace with a mailing address.
I play guitar. This may or may not involve singing loudly and obnoxiously. I'm certain that if my fish had the mental capacity, they'd be mortified to know the neighbors can hear me doing this. Someday I'd like to form a pirate band, but my guitar playing will need to improve first!
I have a blog that I update regularly here: http://teh-dirty-robot.livejournal.com
I have a webcomic that I update....not so regularly here: http://www.mellzah.com/
I signed up for myspace because a banjo threatened to kick me in the face if I didn't.
So here I am.

My Interests

pornstaches, the nintendo blowjob, and your mom.

I'd like to meet:

Someone with an interesting story to tell.

Music:

I like tons of stuff, all mixed together. Eclectic people like me love my mix cds. Regular people find them difficult to listen to. For this reason, some people have a hard time riding in the car with me, which has nothing to do with my driving, I assure you.
Some perennial favorites are Tom Waits, That 1 Guy, Sunset Room, Sunny Day Real Estate, Rasputina, Mindless Self Indulgence, Motley Crue, Elton John, and Frank Black.

Movies:

Pretty much any movie that ever was important to a genre, any groundbreaking, amazing movie that everyone and their brother has seen, I have not.
I do not know how to explain this. Except that I live under a rock.
I loooooove movies with the 'so bad they're good' aesthetic. One of my all-time favorites is the Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, closely followed by Elvira: Mistress of the Dark. If it's awful, I probably own it.
My dad is on my Netflix friends list. Fact.

Television:

I say I don't watch TV, but I rent whole seasons from Netflix and devour them in a sitting. I think this makes me a hypocrite.
My favorite shows are Penn & Teller's Bullshit, Battlestar Galactica, Reno 911, The Simpsons, and Firefly.

Books:

It's like I've got a library in my apartment. A poorly organized library, but a library nonetheless.
Some favorites would be China Mieville's "The Scar", Yutang Lin's "Moment in Peking" and David Foster Wallace's "Brief Interviews With Hideous Men".
I just finished "Focault's Pendulum" by Umberto Eco, and I plan to pick up "The Heroin Diaries" by Nikki Sixx next.

Heroes:

Batman, Stephen Colbert, John Pinnell, and Norman Borlaug.

My Blog

An Open Letter From Billy Corgan, Part II

Hello my zeroes!Forget everything I said before. Tuesday, October 30th will be the greatest day you've ever known. That day, when the sun rises across Geek USA, it will perform the most important func...
Posted by Mellzah on Sat, 27 Oct 2007 10:00:00 PST

Photoshop Friday

Recently, Nicki sent me a link to dress your wedding, and this picture: "See that one on the left with short black hair?" she intimated. "That's you." I was thrown off for a few moments, because (a)h...
Posted by Mellzah on Fri, 28 Sep 2007 10:07:00 PST

Let’s get together and haul some keel.

Ahoy mateys and welcome to another talk like a pirate day! Us here at Arrrdor, Inc.* would additionally like t'wish ye and yer buckos a merry 'Fuck Like A Pirate Day' and be happy t' provide ye with e...
Posted by Mellzah on Thu, 20 Sep 2007 05:11:00 PST

Ripping it out by the roots

Note to self: Even though the box of the hair removal wax kit claims that it is 'Easy!' and 'Painless!' with exclamation points, it is, in fact, neither easy NOR painless. Additionally, exclamation po...
Posted by Mellzah on Fri, 07 Sep 2007 08:29:00 PST

Serpents Upon My Dirigible

What ever happened to the days when it was a big deal to fly on an airplane? When people would dress up just for the occasion, and you didn't have to worry about sitting next to someone who looked or ...
Posted by Mellzah on Tue, 03 Jul 2007 10:22:00 PST

In which I mention unmentionables

Last night I went shopping for some new unmentionables. For as rarely as they're seen by eyes other than mine, you wouldn't think I could possibly be as picky about the whole process as I am. But you ...
Posted by Mellzah on Tue, 22 May 2007 01:16:00 PST

Mission Accomplished!

Four years ago today, George W. Bush declared "mission accomplished" in Iraq with a large banner and a thumbs-up and everything. Since then, more than 3,000 American troops have died and 25,000 have b...
Posted by Mellzah on Tue, 01 May 2007 03:59:00 PST

Birthday Activities--You're Invited!

CLEAR YOUR CALENDARS FOR THE 3 RING CIRCUS OF MELLZAH'S BIRTHDAY!Friday night, or birthday eve (4/20): After you've finished getting high, it's goth dance party at the Merc. If you don't have membersh...
Posted by Mellzah on Tue, 17 Apr 2007 02:52:00 PST

How you, too, can cheat death.

I escaped my murderous fate/watery grave this weekend due to a number of rather clever rules steadfastly adhered to on my part, based on my horror movie expertise.At all times, I had a puppy galavanti...
Posted by Mellzah on Mon, 12 Mar 2007 11:48:00 PST

Reno Contest Update--Thanks Everyone!

Thanks to everyone who put up with my shenanigans in regards to the Reno 911 contest--the constant bulletins and comments and badgering...you're all saints for putting up with it. Without yo...
Posted by Mellzah on Sat, 17 Feb 2007 06:55:00 PST