the velvet mafia

BUY THE CD AT CDBABY.COM! (our website: www.velvetmafiatheband.com)Dean Johnson - head mistress (possibly extraterrestrial) - vocals / Little Mary Feaster - escapee from Catholic School - bass, vocals / Amy Van Dykey - Gold Medalist, Special Olympics - drums, vocals / Dixie - GOP fundraiser, crack-whore - vocals / Father Joshua - priest, pervert - saxaphone / Sister Lola - nun, invert - saxaphone / Bruno - international arms dealer - guitarist*************************************************** ************************We've opened for everyone from Rufus Wainwright to Laura Branigan. We've played everywhere from Wigstock to CBGB. We've eaten everywhere from Burger King to Arby's. Together over ten years; we credit our longevity to a complete and total lack of commercial success since there's no money to fight about. We've been nominated for a bunch of awards and never won any of them. Plus, the food at the award ceremonies wasn't great. We released our most recent CD two years ago and plan to start promoting it soon. We would have done it sooner but were unavoidably delayed by a complete and total lack of motivation. Still, nothing will stop us from clawing our way to stardom. Except maybe retirement.************************************************* **************************This year we'd like to play LA, SF, and Boston, so we're particularly looking for promoters, bands, friends and co-conspirators in these three locations. Anarchists, sex freaks and androgynes welcome. Dean and Dixie date boys; everyone else in the band has a girlfriend, wife or lesbian life-partner. Consequently, we don't get out much. And Dixie just had a baby, so...everybody who wants to get laid after the show, form a line in front of the seven-foot-tall bald lady. Bring money.****************************************************** *********************"The Velvet Mafia makes Marilyn Manson look like John Tesch." - HX Magazine**************************************************** ***********************"Deliciously deviant!" - Go NYC Magazine**************************************************** ***********************"Is Johnson the new Sondheim? You be the judge." -Screw Magazine**************************************************** ***********************"Dean Johnson is one of the truly legendary New Yorkers. I've always felt that the Velvet Mafia is like a naughty cousin of Hedwigs'". -Larry Tee********************************************************* ******************"We live in an age where a "Gentleman's Club" means a "Titty Bar". Where every cockroach infested bodega that sells nothing but twinkies and beer has a sign outside saying "Gourmet". Where being a "V.I.P." at a club means that you pay $20.00 to get in with a two bottle minimum at $350.00 a bottle. We live in an age where Paris Hilton is a star. Thankfully, we have THE VELVET MAFIA to bring us to our senses.THE VELVET MAFIA IS REAL!!!!" - Johnny Dynell