Jackie Beat profile picture

Jackie Beat

Q: Is everything a joke to you? A: Only the things that matter. (V for Vendetta)

About Me

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My Interests

NICE people: What good is driving a hybrid and joining Green Peace and eating organic if you're a rude asshole? If you're confused, please refer to the lyrics of "Easy To Be Hard" from the musical HAIR:"How can people be so heartless? How can people be so cruel? Easy to be hard, easy to be cold.How can people have no feelings? How can they ignore their friends? Easy to be proud, easy to say no.Especially people who care about strangers. Who care about evil and social injustice. Do you only care about the bleeding crowd? How about a needing friend? I need a friend."

I'd like to meet:

I edited my profile with Thomas' Myspace Editor V4.4 target="_blank"Thomas' Myspace Editor V4.4People who read. Anyone who can sit through an entire movie without text messaging. Faggots who prefer Karen Carpenter, Chrissy Hynde or Billie Holiday over Madonna. Nice people. Nice is more important than smart or fashionable. Funny people. If you cannot laugh at yourself -- keep walking. Dog lovers. If you do not love dogs -- get the fuck away from me.

Music:

If Janis Joplin were alive today and she appeared as a contestant on "American Idol", Randy would say, "That was just okay, dawg", Paula would call her "pitchy" and Simon would tell her to "lose 20 pounds!"

Movies:

Carrie (1976), Sunset Boulevard, The Stepford Wives (the original, NOT the sacreligious remake), Careful He Might Hear You, Man Facing Southeast, Wages of Fear, Vertigo, Faster Pussycat Kill Kill, Heathers and my new favorite... HOT FUZZ!

Television:

The Golden Girls.

Books:

Just finished "Dark at the Roots" by Sarah Thyre. LOVED IT! Right now I am tearing through Rue McClanahan's saucy autobiography, "My First Five Husbands." In case you've been living under a rock for the past 25 years, you just awoke from a coma, you're stupid and/or straight or you are a mere child who idolizes Jeffree Star -- Rue played Blanche Deveraux on The Golden Girls. Turns out she was quite the slut in real life, too! A MUST READ! Update: Just finished Rue's book (GENIUS!) and then I read "Starstruck" by Michael Joseph Gross. SO GOOD! Fame is so fucked. Just finished CULT OF THE AMATEUR by Andrew Keen -- highly recommended!

Heroes:

Anyone who has the guts to be themselves.

My Blog

LIGHTEN UP, LADY!

Okay, it's official -- it's time for me to "lighten up!" Don't worry, this is NOT a diet blog (although, lets be honest, it SHOULD BE, burp!). No, after my last couple of serious subjects I have deci...
Posted by Jackie Beat on Thu, 05 Jun 2008 02:11:00 PST

THIS GAY PRIDE MAY I SUGGEST THAT YOU...

GOOGLE IT, BITCH! The internet should make you smarter.WARNING:There is nothing "fierce" or "sexy" about this blog entry. It is, in fact, quite educational and thought-provoking. If this does not inte...
Posted by Jackie Beat on Wed, 21 May 2008 01:36:00 PST

HARD TRANNY?

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHEN MADONNA BECAME JESUS?I'm serious. My personal dislike for M, Madge, Mama, The Material Girl, Ester -- for chrissakes what is she calling herself this week!? -- is no s...
Posted by Jackie Beat on Wed, 07 May 2008 02:07:00 PST

TAKE THE GOOD WITH THE BAD!

Yes, it's a rather hackneyed phrase, but like most cliche's -- it's 100% true. You really do have to..."TAKE THE GOOD WITH THE BAD!"For some strange reason I've been thinking about this a lot lately ...
Posted by Jackie Beat on Tue, 22 Apr 2008 05:00:00 PST

LEGLESS WHORE!

"HEY LEGLESS WHORE!"That's how my ex-boyfriend answers the phone whenever I call him now. It all started one day when I dialed his number to bitch and moan about something probably not that important...
Posted by Jackie Beat on Fri, 11 Apr 2008 06:11:00 PST

HOLD THE ANCHOVIES?

I am sitting here in my hotel room in Salt Lake City, Utah (oh yes, my life is soooo glamorous!) and I just had an epiphany: I think I’m kinda’ like anchovies. What do I mean exactly? We...
Posted by Jackie Beat on Wed, 26 Mar 2008 09:09:00 PST

GRAY SKIES ARE GONNA CLEAR UP...

... PUT ON A HAPPY FACE!Out the darkness I tentatively creep. Covered in muck, I slowly open my weary eyes to see a glimmer of hope on the horizon...Since my last doom 'n' gloom blog, I have begun to...
Posted by Jackie Beat on Thu, 28 Feb 2008 02:01:00 PST

UH, ITS MY PAGE...

...and I will delete any and all comments I choose! Yes, that means that if you post a pro-Hillary comment or an anti-Obama comment, I am going to delete it. It's my fucking page and I am voting for...
Posted by Jackie Beat on Sun, 17 Feb 2008 08:11:00 PST

WARNING: I AM IN ONE OF THOSE MOODS!

I would like to thank my internet provider for helping me to start each day with an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and dread. There's nothing quite like waking up, taking the dogs out into the ba...
Posted by Jackie Beat on Fri, 15 Feb 2008 01:36:00 PST

MY NEW MANTRA!

(Originally written for IN Los Angeles Magazine)Hey everybody! I have a new mantra. Wanna' hear it?"WHEN YOU STEP OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE, IT'S NORMAL TO FEEL DISCOMFORT!"Wow. Needlepoint that on ...
Posted by Jackie Beat on Thu, 07 Feb 2008 01:12:00 PST