GLBTQ Health Headquarters

There are numerous theories about the origins of a person's sexual orientation; most scientists today agree that sexual orientation is most likely the result of a complex interaction of environmental, cognitive and biological factors. In most people, sexual orientation is shaped at an early age. There is also considerable recent evidence to suggest that biology, including genetic or inborn hormonal factors, play a significant role in a person's sexuality. In summary, it is important to recognize that there are probably many reasons for a person's sexual orientation and the reasons may be different for different people.

No, human beings can not choose to be either gay or straight. Sexual orientation emerges for most people in early adolescence without any prior sexual experience. Although we can choose whether to act on our feelings, psychologists do not consider sexual orientation to be a conscious choice that can be voluntarily changed.

Some therapists who undertake so-called conversion therapy report that they have been able to change their clients' sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual. Close scrutiny of these reports however show several factors that cast doubt on their claims. For example, many of the claims come from organizations with an ideological perspective which condemns homosexuality. Furthermore, their claims are poorly documented. For example, treatment outcome is not followed and reported overtime as would be the standard to test the validity of any mental health intervention.
The American Psychological Association is concerned about such therapies and their potential harm to patients. In 1997, the Association's Council of Representatives passed a resolution reaffirming psychology's opposition to homophobia in treatment and spelling out a client's right to unbiased treatment and self-determination. Any person who enters into therapy to deal with issues of sexual orientation has a right to expect that such therapy would take place in a professionally neutral environment absent of any social bias.

No. Psychologists, psychiatrists and other mental health professionals agree that homosexuality is not an illness, mental disorder or an emotional problem. Over 35 years of objective, well-designed scientific research has shown that homosexuality, in and itself,is not associated with mental disorders or emotional or social problems. Homosexuality was once thought to be a mental illness because mental health professionals and society had biased information. In the past the studies of gay, lesbian and bisexual people involved only those in therapy, thus biasing the resulting conclusions. When researchers examined data about these people who were not in therapy, the idea that homosexuality was a mental illness was quickly found to be untrue.
In 1973 the American Psychiatric Association confirmed the importance of the new, better designed research and removed homosexuality from the official manual that lists mental and emotional disorders. Two years later, the American Psychological Association passed a resolution supporting the removal. For more than 25 years, both associations have urged all mental health professionals to help dispel the stigma of mental illness that some people still associate with homosexual orientation.

Because sharing that aspect of themselves with others is important to their mental health. In fact, the process of identity development for lesbians, gay men and bisexuals called "coming out", has been found to be strongly related to psychological adjustment—the more positive the gay, lesbian, or bisexual identity, the better one's mental health and the higher one's self-esteem.

For some gay and bisexual people the coming out process is difficult, for others it is not. Often lesbian, gay and bisexual people feel afraid, different, and alone when they first realize that their sexual orientation is different from the community norm. This is particularly true for people becoming aware of their gay, lesbian, or bisexual orientation as a child or adolescent, which is not uncommon.
Depending on their families and where they live, they may have to struggle against prejudice and misinformation about homosexuality. Children and adolescents may be particularly vulnerable to the deleterious effects of bias and stereotypes. They may also fear being rejected by family, friends,co-workers, and religious institutions. Some gay people have to worry about losing their jobs or being harassed at school if their sexual orientation became well known. Unfortunately, gay, lesbian and bisexual people are at a higher risk for physical assault and violence than are heterosexuals.
Studies done in California in the mid 1990s showed that nearly one-fifth of all lesbians who took part in the study and more than one-fourth of all gay men who participated had been the victim of a hate crime based on their sexual orientation. In another California study of approximately 500 young adults, half of all the young men participating in the study admitted to some form of anti-gay aggression from name-calling to physical violence.

Research has found that the people who have the most positive attitudes toward gay men, lesbians and bisexuals are those who say they know one or more gay, lesbian or bisexual person well—often as a friend or co-worker. For this reason, psychologists believe negative attitudes toward gay people as a group are prejudices that are not grounded in actual experiences but are based on stereotypes and prejudice.
Furthermore, protection against violence and discrimination is very important, just as it is for other minority groups. Some states include violence against an individual on the basis of his or her sexual orientation as a "hate crime" and 10 U.S. states have laws against discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.

Educating all people about sexual orientation and homosexuality is likely to diminish anti-gay prejudice. Accurate information about homosexuality is especially important to young people who are first discovering and seeking to understand their sexuality—whether homosexual, bisexual, or heterosexual. Fears that access to such information will make more people gay have no validity—information about homosexuality does not make someone gay or straight.

Itâ€,,s important to remember that most of the negative stereotypes of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people are based on erroneous or inadequate information. Here are some myths and facts to help you flesh out whatâ€,,s what:
Itâ€,,s a â€,,choice.” Sexual orientation and gender identity are not choices, any more than being left-handed or having brown eyes or being straight are choices. The choice is in deciding whether or not to live your life openly and honestly with yourself and others.
Itâ€,,s a â€,,lifestyle.” Itâ€,,s sometimes said that GLBT people live a gay â€,,lifestyle.” The problem with that word is that it can trivialize GLBT people and the struggles they face. Being GLBT is no more a lifestyle than being straight — itâ€,,s a life, just like anyone elseâ€,,s.
Same-sex relationships donâ€,,t last. Same-sex couples can, and do, form lasting, lifelong, committed relationships — just like any other couple. And just like any other couple, sometimes same-sex relationships end. The primary difference is that same-sex couples have few opportunities to marry or enter into civil unions or domestic partnerships.
GLBT people canâ€,,t have families. According to the 2000 Census, more than 1 million children — probably many more — are being raised by same-sex couples nationwide. The American Psychological Association and other major medical and scientific researchers have stated that children of gay and lesbian parents are as mentally healthy as children raised by straight parents.
GLBT people arenâ€,,t happy. In 1994, the American Medical Association released a statement saying, â€,,Most of the emotional disturbance experienced by gay men and lesbians around their sexual identity is not based on physiological causes but rather is due more to a sense of alienation in an unaccepting environment.” What that means is that the discrimination and stress that GLBT people face is the root cause of a great deal of pain for many GLBT people. That pain can be alleviated by knowing that there is a vibrant, growing community of GLBT and straight-supportive Americans who know and care about GLBT people and the issues they face.
GLBT people can â€,,change” or be â€,,cured.” No scientifically valid evidence exists that shows that people can change their sexual orientation, although some people do repress it. The most reputable medical and psychotherapeutic groups say you should not try to change your sexual orientation as the process can actually be damaging.

Bisexual people are attracted to both men and women. A bisexual person may not be equally attracted to both sexes, however, and the degree of attraction may vary over time and as oneâ€,,s sexual identity develops.
Not everyone who feels attracted to both men and women is comfortable with the label bisexual. Some choose to identify as gay, lesbian or straight, or with other terms such as bi-curious, pansexual, omnisexual or simply not straight. Some people, who are working to understand their sexuality, may identify as questioning. And some people prefer not to assign a label to their sexual orientation at all.
Coming Out as Bisexual
The coming out process is different for everyone. Whether youâ€,,re gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or straight-supportive, when you come out you face a unique set of issues based on your personal circumstances — including your age, location, familial status, class, ethnicity, gender identity, sexual orientation and countless other factors.
People who are attracted to both men and women face specific challenges during the coming out process. Unfortunately, misinformation about bisexuality is widespread, and many bisexual people find that when they come out, they must also work to educate those around them about their sexual orientation.
For everyone, though, coming out — and facing the challenges that come with it — is an act of bravery, authenticity and openness. Whether youâ€,,re coming out to yourself, to your family or to the stranger sitting next to you on the plane, being honest about your life is one of the most important steps you can ever take to advance equality. The more America sees who we really are, the more stereotypes are shattered.

Often, the coming out journey begins long before youâ€,,ve said a word to anyone. The realization that your sexual orientation may be different from othersâ€,, may trigger internal reflection that can last days, months or years before youâ€,,re comfortable talking about it.
Some people have known their entire lives that they are attracted only to men. Some have always known that they are attracted only to women. Some have always known that they are attracted to both men and women. And for others, itâ€,,s never been that simple. Attractions may vary and develop over time. If you donâ€,,t necessarily feel you fall under the categories of gay or straight, itâ€,,s often difficult to figure out what to call your sexual feelings.
You may wonder if you are sufficiently attracted to both sexes to be considered bisexual. Although some bisexual people do describe themselves as â€,,50-50” — equally attracted to both genders — thatâ€,,s not the case for everyone. Bisexual people may not always be equally attracted to both sexes, and the degree of attraction may vary over time and as oneâ€,,s sexual identity develops. No â€,,test” exists to determine what amount of attraction to each gender is necessary to identify as bisexual.
Some people work through a period of being attracted to both sexes and ultimately wind up being attracted primarily to one sex. And some people acknowledge their bisexuality after a period of identifying as gay, lesbian or straight. The journey is different for everyone. But figuring out your sexual identity can be complicated. It could take several months or several years. You may find it to be a lifelong process.
Whatever your experience, it can help to talk to someone else about it. Itâ€,,s normal to have trouble putting your thoughts into words, but you may find that a trusted friend or relative will listen to you anyway. You might also consider looking into local bisexual organizations in your community where you can find support from others who have gone through the same experiences.

For many gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people, coming out to their families is a momentous occasion in their lives. Because coming out to your family is a key step in the process, it helps to prepare yourself for how they might react.
You may find that some members of your family are unfamiliar with bisexuality. Many people view sexuality as a straightforward, cut-and-dry matter, so you may have to explain that for you, itâ€,,s more complicated.
You might need to educate your relatives about the basics of bisexuality and what sets you apart from gay, lesbian and straight people. You could also be asked questions stemming from the widespread myths about bisexuality, so you may want to think about possible answers to these questions before you initiate that first talk with your family.
Parents, in particular, can raise difficult questions after a child comes out to them as bisexual. Some parents might say they could understand if their child was gay or lesbian, but they arenâ€,,t sure what to make of a bisexual child. And some parents view their bisexual children as â€,,part straight” or â€,,not really gay,” and hope that they will find opposite-sex partners. Bisexual children who find same-sex partners may find their parents expressing dismay that they would â€,,choose” to have a same-sex relationship, even though theyâ€,,re also attracted to people of the opposite sex. Likewise, parents of bisexual children with opposite-sex partners may express relief that their children turned out to be â€,,straight” after all.
In addition, if your sexual orientation evolves over time, you may find yourself having to come out multiple times. For example, you may identify as gay or lesbian at one point in your life, but later come to identify as bisexual. And if youâ€,,ve already told family members that you are gay or lesbian, you may find yourself in the difficult position of having to come out to them again — this time, as a bisexual person.
Educating your family will be an ongoing process. Itâ€,,s important to keep in mind, though, that while the facts surrounding your sexual orientation may seem obvious to you, it may represent a significant change from the way your family has always viewed the world. Although youâ€,,ve had time to grow comfortable with your sexuality, you are your familyâ€,,s only source of information on the subject. Try to remain patient with them and answer their questions openly and honestly. The key point to remember is that all relationships, whether they are same-sex or opposite-sex, deserve respect and understanding.

Bisexual people are often invisible in mainstream American society. Many of the few portrayals of bisexual people in the media have depicted them as the targets of jokes or stereotypes.
Is a result, when coming out to friends, acquaintances and others, you may find yourself facing prejudice based on your sexual orientation. This can be true even among gay and lesbian peers. But by coming out to your friends and acquaintances, straight and gay alike, you can help educate them about the realities of your life.
Bisexual people who are in relationships also face their own set of issues. Among the general public, most people still assume that people in same-sex couples are gay or lesbian and that people in opposite-sex couples are straight. People in relationships who identify as bisexual are put in the position of having to either ignore these assumptions — implicitly allowing them to continue — or confront the people who made them. If someone mistakenly labels you as gay or straight, and you choose to tell them that you actually identify as bisexual, you could help to further educate them about the realities of bisexual lives.

Thereâ€,,s a lot of misinformation about bisexuality and bisexual people in our culture, and during the coming out process, bisexual people often find themselves coming up against these false stereotypes.
Myth: Thereâ€,,s no such thing as bisexuality.
Reality: Bisexuality is a genuine sexual orientation, just like homosexuality and heterosexuality. Bisexual people have existed throughout history.
Myth: Bisexuality is just a phase. â€,,Bisexual” people will eventually wind up being either gay or straight.
Reality: Many people identify as bisexual for their entire lifetimes.
Myth: Bisexual people just canâ€,,t make up their minds.
Reality: Bisexual people are often very comfortable and settled with themselves and their sexuality.
Myth: Bisexual people have multiple partners and/or canâ€,,t have monogamous relationships.
Reality: Although some stereotypes assert that bisexual people canâ€,,t commit to relationships with one person because theyâ€,,re always attracted to people of the other gender, bisexual people are no more or less likely to have multiple sexual partners than gay, lesbian and straight people.
Myth: Bisexual people spread sexually transmitted diseases. Reality: Bisexual people are no more likely to carry HIV/AIDS or other STDs than gay or straight people.
Myth: Bisexual people face less discrimination than gay, lesbian and transgender people.
Reality: The entire gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community faces discrimination. In 33 states, for example, itâ€,,s still legal to fire bisexual people based solely on their sexual orientation, just as it is for gays and lesbians. And bisexual people face unique problems in society due to the common myths and stereotypes about bisexuality.

You do not have to have sex to be aware of your sexual identity. Most teenagers, whether they are gay, lesbian, bisexual or straight, are not sexually active. In fact, not having sex is the only way to protect yourself completely against sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). But if you choose to have sex, make sure you know the risks and how to protect yourself.
* Gay and bisexual males must be particularly careful and always use latex condoms. Using condoms is the only way to protect against human immunodeficiency virus (HIV)/acquired immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS) and many other diseases that are spread during anal, vaginal or oral intercourse. Condoms also help to prevent pregnancy during vaginal intercourse.
* Lesbians and bisexual females also must always use protection such as latex dental dams and condoms to avoid sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned pregnancies.
* Avoid risky sexual practices like using alcohol and drugs before or during sex, having unknown sexual partners or having sex in unfamiliar or public places.
* Regular health examinations are crucial. Ask your pediatrician if you have questions or concerns about STDs or other health issues.
* Make sure all of your immunizations are up-to-date. Check that you have had three doses of the hepatitis B vaccine. Hepatitis B is a virus that can make you very sick. It can be spread through contact with infected blood or other body fluids. This can happen during sexual intercourse or when drug users share needles.

Being a gay or lesbian teen in our society can be very difficult. Avoid using drugs or alcohol to relieve depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. Doing so can lead to addiction.
In many communities, bars are popular places for gay and lesbian people to socialize. This increases the pressure to drink and use other drugs. Drug and alcohol use can lead to unsafe sex. Adopt a drug-free lifestyle and look for other ways to socialize and meet new people.

The first difficult thing for you to deal with is realizing and accepting for yourself that you're gay or bi. Once you know - you might want other people to know, as well. But this should be something that happens in your own time, when you feel ready.

â€,,I've told three friends that I'm gay, but one of them told a few more people. It took some serious talking to clear that one up, he doesn't understand that I'm not ready to tell the whole freaking school that I'm gay... I mean what 15 year old would want to tell a whole year group of mostly straight homophobes!!”
- Phil -
If you know that you're gay, and no-one else knows, it can be really difficult. Some parts of the world are less accepting of gay people than others are, and so are some families. This means that many gay people grow up with their friends and families thinking that they're straight - and the pressure of keeping your sexuality a secret can get really stressful.
â€,,Finally, I could no longer take it, and decided I needed to tell my family on my twenty-first birthday. But that day came and went just like any other. I wasn't able to bring myself to tell what I thought was such an awful secret.”
- Dave -
But if you're not ready, you don't have to tell anyone - there's always plenty of time in the future, if you don't want to do it now.
â€,,I do plan on coming out, just not yet. I'd rather wait until I'm comfortable. Wait 'til you're ready. Don't feel pressured to come out right away or even at all! After all, one of the last things you want is to lose a friend or distance yourself with a family member. Or even worse, if you're young like I am you may find that you really are just going through a phase and you find out that you're not gay after you've told everyone and their mother that you are.”
- Graeme -
Sometimes, the feelings of having a secret and not being able to tell people about it can really build up inside. Working out your sexuality can be a difficult process, and these things are usually easier to deal with if you've got someone to talk to. The process of telling people that you're gay or bisexual is known as 'coming out'.
â€,,When I was 19 I could no longer keep it to myself, I told my brother and sister in-law who have a few gay friends and they were like 'hey it's no big deal' they love me for who I am and I love spending time with them. Now I'm 20 and I need to tell my parents, although I don't know if I'll ever be able to.”
- Chris -
There're no right & wrong ways to come out to people, and you should only do it when you're ready. It can be really scary telling people if you're not sure how they're going to react - especially your family. Often the hardest people to tell are your parents. But you can make it easier for them and for you by waiting until you're sure you're ready. If you do decide to come out to them, choose a good time to tell them, too - they might need to have some space to think about what you've told them, so a really busy time like Thanksgiving or Christmas might not be best! Some teens find it easier to write their parents a note or a letter.
â€,,Telling my friends was the easy part - not fun - but they have all been okay with it. Telling my mum was hard but do-able, but telling my dad was just impossible. I spent ages agonizing about it and worrying and thinking about letters or just blurting it out, but in the end I realized the easiest thing was not to tell him at all but get someone else to do it for me.

â€,,I know not everyone has someone willing or able to do this for them but I got my brother to do it for me - and instead of the really negative reaction I expected from my dad nothing has changed. Coming out doesn't have to be on someone else's terms. If you need to, then be manipulative - not nastily - but just doing things in a way so that people will react better to them.
â€,,I thought my dad would be really pissed off but because my brother told him he had space and time to think it over and decide how he was going to react he wasn't that bad. I'm not saying this would work for everyone, but if you think about it, there are ways of softening the blow - or even taking away the sting altogether.”
- Hugo -
Many people find that the best thing to do is to tell just one or two people first, people who they really trust.
â€,,When I first got away from my old school, I emailed all of my friends. I told them all I was gay. Not surprisingly, 2 of them said it was wrong and gross. I wasn't that close to them anyway. The others supported me, told me that kind of figured it out on their own, and wished I would have told them before. I was in shock. I made my first huge step in the direction of being myself.”
- Cody -
So try to think it through, think what you're going to say, and how they might react. You don't have to tell anyone, unless you want to! If you're starting to realise that you're gay or bi, you'll already have a lot to think about - but don't worry - it's something you can come to feel proud about.
â€,,If you know that you're gay, be proud. Don't let it hold you back. If you're on the fence, that's okay too. But the sooner you're certain what you are and are comfortable with it, the happier you'll be.”
- Graeme

How to use a dental dam: Do not brush your teeth before or after, may cause cuts in mouth, chew some gum instead! It is okay to brush teeth in 24 hours!
Make Your Own!
-You can use non-microwavable saran wrap, holes too small for HIV virus to be transmitted
-Use a condom:
. Cut off rim
. Cut down one side of condom
. Use Instructions Below
* Use a New Dental Dam Every Time - Use a new dental before each sex act. Be sure the dam is free of holes or breakage. You can check the dam before you use it by holding it up to light or seeing if water is able to pass through it. Avoid using oil-based lubricants, which can break down the latex and may cause leaks. Finally, ensure that only one side of the dam comes in contact with the genitals, and that the dam is used only once. Make sure you use a brand new dental dam each time you engage in intimate relations with your partner.
* Using the Dental Dam - Hold the latex dam over the vulva or anus during oral stimulation, making sure that the latex remains in place. Always keep the same side against the body. Do not share or reuse.
* Lubricants - Do not use oil-based lubricants such as Vaseline petroleum jelly, mineral oil, vegetable oil or cold cream as these can cause the breakdown of the latex in the dental dam. This may result in leakage. Undercover Condoms has a selection of dental dam-safe lubricants.
* Dental Dam Storage - Store at room temperature. Do not use if the dental dam appears brittle.
* Dental Dam Effectiveness - No prophylactic can guarantee 100% effectiveness, but if properly used dental dams will help reduce the risk of HIV infection and many other sexually transmitted diseases.

No risk
* abstinence
* fantasy
* masturbating self
* massage
* masturbating each other
Moderate Risk:
*Kissing
Yes you can get an STD from kissing!
Examples: Syphilis and Herpes, NOT HIV/AIDS
Why?: if you have a cold sore, gingivitis, any open cuts or sores
High risk
* oral sex on a man with ejaculation
* vaginal sex
* insertive anal sex
* receptive anal sex
* sharing injection drug equipment
* oral anal sex without protection
* rubbing penises together

Masturbation
Alone, with a partner is also very safe as long as the ejaculate or pre-ejaculate doesn't go into another person's mouth, anus, vagina or on broken skin.

Using Sex Toys fun and creative way to practice safer sex. Just make sure that you don't share toys or if you do, use a fresh condom on the toy in between partners.

How safe is oral sex?
While there is much debate on this topic there have been a few, but significant, number of case reports documenting HIV infection through oral sex. So, while some men have misconceptions about how infection can be prevented-such as thinking that "acid in the stomach will kill any HIV"- or that "saliva always kills HIV"- the bottom line is that unprotected oral sex can put you at risk for infection.

Having oral sex while using a latex condom is considered safe behavior. If you choose not to use a condom while having oral sex you can reduce the risk of contracting HIV by minimizing contact with pre-ejaculate or ejaculate (for example, by licking just the shaft of the penis and not the head and by avoiding ejaculation into the mouth). Remember, this is all on a continuum and any time pre-ejaculate or ejaculate comes into contact with a mucous membrane (mouth, anus or broken skin), there is a risk of contracting HIV.
Barebacking: gay men who have unprotected anal intercourse. It is a practice that is on the increase. There are dangers, especially if you get involved in casual sex with someone you do not know.

Since the early days of HIV/AIDS a new generation of gay men have grown up with an acceptance of the hazards of unprotected sex. The potency of the safe sex message has perhaps diminished over time and this has been helped by advances in AIDS treatments.
If you bareback with someone who is infected with HIV, some other STD, or hepatitis B and hepatitis C, you are risking your health and ultimately your life. Remember, infected people may appear symptom free so even if your sexual partner looks fit and healthy it can actually mean very little.
Many gay men involved in health-care believe that there are an increasing number of gay's who believe the treatments now available are so effective that HIV and AIDS no longer pose such a risk. The belief that even if you get AIDS it will be not really be that much of a problem to live with is simply not the case. It is true that treatments have improved a lot, but HIV claims the lives of many gay men each year.
People infected with HIV and AIDS are living longer if they have the right drugs and supportive treatments, but there is still no cure. HIV is not one disease. There are a number of different types, more than 10 subtypes in fact, which result in countless strains. If, for example, you catch a second or third strain, it causes what researchers are calling a â€,,super infection”. It dispels the myth that HIV positive partners can have unsafe sex without re-infecting each other.

Rimming
(oral-anal stimulation) is lower risk for HIV transmission as compared to anal or vaginal sex, but higher risk for the transmission of hepatitis A and parasites. Rimming can be made safer by using a latex barrier between the mouth and the anus. This can include a cut up condom, a latex square, or even plastic food wrap.

Fisting
Before fisting, use latex surgical gloves and make sure that you don't insert your fist past the length of the glove. Keep fingernails trimmed and smooth so they won't rip the glove. Using lots of water-based lubricant will also help prevent the latex from breaking and minimize damage to tissue.

No. This is a commonly held myth. In reality, the risk of exposure to HIV is related to a person's behavior, not their sexual orientation. What's important to remember about HIV/AIDS is it is a preventable disease through the use of safe sex practices and by not using drugs.

Lesbians are women who are sexually attracted to other women. For some, the attraction may lead to dating and possibly engaging in sexual activity with another woman. Some women form lifelong relationships with each other, which may include having and raising children, and making a family.

* One in ten girls is sexually attracted to other girls. Often, young females are not sure whether they are lesbian or not, but they are aware of their interest and attraction to other females. This can be very confusing in a world that stresses attraction to the opposite sex. A young woman may take many years before she feels certain that she is gay. She may date boys during this period of uncertainty, and may even become sexual with them.
* Early same-sex attraction does not necessarily mean a person is gay.

Generally, teens develop an inner sense of their orientation during and after puberty.
* Some self-identified lesbian women have indicated they knew they were gay in junior high school. Others say they knew at an earlier time.

Unlike many think, lesbians are just as likely to contract a sexually transmitted infection during unprotected sexual activities woman who sleep with men and men who have sex with men. Today, lesbians are more at risk not getting the help needed, many still define sex as penetration.
When vaginal fluids are exchanged one is at risk for contracting all eleven sexually transmitted infections, be sure you know who your having relations with and that of their hiv status, and use protection i.e. dental dam for oral sex, female condom, sponge, or a diaphragm for sexual intercourse. Be aware that some STI's do not need vaginal fluids to be transmitted others can be transferred through skin to skin contact such as pubic lice and genital warts. Others can be transferred through kissing, via a cold sore or cut in the mouth such as brushing too hard or gingivitis. This is why we ADVISE you to not brush your teeth before or after oral sex for 24 hours to prevent the transmission of sexually transmitted infections.