delgado

i like to: eat with sticks; drink cheap wine; watch bad movies with my wife; play loud ugly music; argue with my three boxers over who gets to sleep next to the woman every night; argue with poker dorks; argue with bar-owners; workout at the ymca, because im getting older and fatter; travel outside the united states to meet wonderful new people from different cultures and make fun of them; be made fun of by people from different cultures while i stand in their country trying to use the only six words of their language that i can remember(cabron! that means friend? yes!); most of all i absolutely love that moment when my business is covered, i'm laying on the couch with my dogs snoring at my feet watching some crappy blood slinging, deez nutz, kill and eat, zombie chick wanna hump-hump movie while my wife, on her third can of diet coke, stuffs sugar coated gummy snakes into her mouth by the handful(above her head a thought bubble that reads "i bet i could get this entire box of snakes in my mouth if i wasn't about to run out of diet coke...man that'ld be livin baby!") and my f..ing phone is not ringing!! she soon whispers "i love you baby" in a fake arkansaw accent with a slobbering mouth full of goo and my life is complete!! we both giggle like a couple nuns farting in church as some chick's head comes apart..."hey nice brains lady!!!!"