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Salvage yards, flea markets, thrift stores, garage sales, old houses, old movies, old photos. ** Snowboarding, the redwoods, hiking with my junk yard chihuahuas, riding through city streets on my mountain bike. ** Politics, books, architecture, travel, documentaries. ** Keeping an eye on creepy republicans and freak-a-zoid christians who seem intent on turning our planet into a burning, belching, toxic terlet. ** Reading, writing, but not necessarily arithmatic. ** Hey, where's the 'DisInterests' catagory? RIght here: I'm disinterested in most of today's stand up comedy. This once proud art form, and occasional vehicle for social change (Pryor, Lenny Bruce, etc.), has become little more than a marketing medium featuring a constant parade of dolts trotting out trite observations about bed, bath, but not much beyond. Ation Humor, that's masturbation, defecation, inebriation, fornication, is what it is. Ah, but all that will change when the draft comes back. Philosophizing endlessly about one's genitals or the wacky surprises one will encounter while high is gonna seem a lot less exciting when spring break in Fallujah is a strong possibility. ** I'm also interested in the fact that just to the right of this text, in my 'Friends' section, that Edith Head and Cheuy the Chihuahua seem to be sharing the same toupee. Economical, perhaps. But odd, don't you think? ** Finally I'm interested in the fact that MySpace is a little like the showbiz industry in Los Angeles in that many whom one calls 'Friends' aren't really 'Friends' at all but are instead just people one uses to move one's way up the social ladder.
Anybody, and I mean anybody, who can talk about something other than sports, tv, pop culture, and celebrities.
Dean Martin. Red Meat. Tom Waits. The Rat Pack. Louie Prima. Tom Waits. American Music Club. Tiger Lillies. Did I mention Tom Waits? These kids 5 Cent Coffee are a hoot.
Black and white noir. Great clothes, beautiful cities, wonerful cars. But best of all is the dialogue, stuff like "That's my dame, sees?" and "I oughtta' pound you, flatfoot" and "He gave 'em the slip and pulled the old double cross" and "Well I'll be a middle-aged mongoloid from Memphis." Worth the price of admission right there. "But, Johnny, the new films have cool special effects." Well, kids, the noir films had a different kind of special effects; acting and writing. *** I also dig foreign films, all the b/w classics, The Godfather, Down By Law, and anything else with Tom Waits. But, no Jackass, no American Pie, and please sweet Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, no Rob Schnieder.
It makes me ill. The bone-headed programming is bad enough but then they gotta' annoy me every 5 minutes with those orgies of deception called commerical breaks. No wonder we've become Retardation Nation. *** At the risk of sounding elitist (funny how in America if you don't live on a constant diet of nASScar and enchiritos and wrasslin' but instead try to raise yourself to the educational/cultural level of, oh I don't know, let's say a European 4th grader, you're labeled some kind of elitist) I do like the following: The American Experience, Frontline, Monty Python, some home repair shows, MST3K, any documentary, and, okay, when nobody's looking, that Girls Gone Wild stuff. Hello, ladies!
I've got plenty of 'em. Grabbed from thrift stores and used book stores (I live in Berkeley, after all) and friends' shelves when they wasn't a lookin'. I'm trying to make up for the education I squandered playing football and lifting weights and drinking beer and chasing goils. A period I like to all The Good Old days. Anyway, I love to read socio/political/historical stuff, like Under The Banner Of Heaven, which is about how the Mormon church was concocted when a fella announced that an angel (in the image of a salamander some say, if the story ain't kooky enough already) brought him some golden plates and magic glasses with which to decode the plates. But that didn't quite work out, go figure, so the end the fella put a rock in a hat and decoded the religion that a-way. You know, the old Rock In The Hat TranslateThe Salamander Delivered Plates Method. And what he figured out, this fella, what with the rock and the hat and the magic glasses and all, is that God mostly wants folks to have a huge batch of wives and not drink Pepsi. And that dark people are dark because god marked them on account of they are evil and that native Americans are descendent from the Jews. Yeah, the old Navajoawitz tribe...and would people descended from Jews really have sold Manhattan so cheaply? I think not. Also, that god wants folks to wear some fancy Jed Clampett looking Jesus Joe Boxers 24/7 to keep the devil out because you know how angry that makes the devil, as witnessed in this short following sketch.DEVIL (DEFEATED BUT STILL ANGRY): "Damn, I would have spread pain and suffering and pestilence to all of Utah if it weren't for those confounded briefs."It all sounds pretty funny until you realize that there are gazillions of gullible kooks who believe this dreck to be absolutely true and that the LDS 'church' is one of the world's fastest growing cults on earth and that if this thing continues to grow at this rate then one day very soon we'll all be peddling ten speeds through suburbs while wearing waiter's uniforms over our devil-b-gone boxers. Jesus, Lord, deliver me from your followers. ** So read your books and wake the hellsinki up and get active because they ain't going to tell you nothin' important on Survivor.
I can tell you one thing; anyone who ever uses the phrase "sports hero" should be sent to N. Dakota for life. Brothers, a hero doesn't do it for fame and money, Barry Bonds does it for fame and money. I don't want to trot out a cliche, but those firemen who went up the Trade Towers certainly were heros. I wouldn't have done it. Not primarily because of the danger involved but because I simply do not get out of bed at 9:00 AM. Terrorists or no terrorists I've got my routine, folks.