Barney Fife profile picture

Barney Fife

I am here for Friends

About Me

Well now lets see, They call me "Fast Draw" you can guess why. I am the most respected, feared, talented and good looking law enforcment specialist this side of the Mississippi. Yes, I only carry one bullet, but that is all I need. Without a doubt I am the most respected man in all of Mayberry, ask around. Some people say im "Blustery" but what do they know. Love my Colt .38 caliber. If you can guess my middle name Ill give up my badge on the spot. Love my Thelma, (I swear I dont know anybody named Juanita at the diner on Main street) Dont expect me to update this very often, but bear with me I will read all your comments, and accept you as friends. I moved back to Mayberry from Raleigh Recnetly and our Internet service aint the best. Now people may disagree with all of this but I promise you, I am THE man. Stick with me and your life is in good hands. IF YOU DONT COMMENT ME I WILL TAKE YOU INTO CUSTODY IN VIOLATION OF PENAL CODE 234 SECTION 4: ALL HAIL BARNEY. That means you too Opie. Please keep in mind that Barney Fife likes to run a family friendly myspace page, so please refrain from posting inappropriate things, or I might just have to pay a visit with my squad car to your house.
This profile was edited with Thomas' Myspace Editor V3.2b

My Interests

My love, Thelma Lou, (and Juanita, but dont tell), spending time at the diner (wink wink) singing in the choir beautifully, protecting the good people of the town, guns especially my Colt .38 caliber, marbles, jax, dirt, ummm im kinda bored so im gonna move on.

I'd like to meet:

Ed Sullivan, A better policeman than me...OOPS, he dosnt exist. I dont think there is anyone I'd like to meet other than that becuase they all want to meet me...plus i dont know about anything outside this silly little town. I got somethin for the milkman too yessiree, that'll be the last time you jip me sonny. Words to live by: Inkem binkem notamus rex, protect us all from the man with the hex. Gomer once you read this come over, I got a plan for that little squirrel issue.

Music:

The Darlings, Anything by me, water drippin through my ceiling and hittin the wood floor, and the sound of a bullet out of this here gun, music to my ears. Also any of the Mayberry Penal Code put to music, Lester Flatt, Charlie Daniel's Band and Earl Scuggs.

Movies:

Whats a movie? Oh heck, ill just say Blazing Saddles, it will come out eventually.

Television:

Broken, dont ask. (Lets just say I have one less bullet in my pocket) Ill pay you back Aunt B, scouts honor.

Books:

Mayberry Penal Code Volumes 1-3.5, King James Bible, Treatise Upon Civil Government by Locke, anything by Socrates, stamps, the words on my nametag, The Magna Carta, Ecclesia Dei Adflicta by the Pope, other than that I aint to much of a reader.

Heroes:

Andy3, Walter Mitty, Ed Sullivan, Dick Tracy, the Good Lord above, Ma and Paw, Mel Brooks (Floyd the Barber God rest his soul)