I have been a Thief, Conman, Professor, Archeologist and supervillain "The Serpent". I am Springfield's resident recidivist felon, always getting arrested but never appearing to stay in jail. I speaks with an accent that sounds like a cross between English and Californian and I keep a pack of cigarettes rolled up in my sleeve. I am partial to fast cars and fast women, and have a knack for reckless abandon. I played lacrosse at Ball State University. I also attended Middlebury College and repaid my student loans after robbing Moe Szyslak's tavern. My car's name is "Lil' Bandit", which may be a '68 Pontiac Firebird, It should be noted that my car's horn plays the opening line of the tune Dixie, similar to The General Lee from the The Dukes of Hazzard. I have a son who looks just like me, and a brother. My ex-girlfriend Gloria briefly dated Charles Montgomery Burns, but then came back to me.I was once held captive by Herman along with Police Chief Wiggum but was eventually rescued by Kirk and Milhouse Van Houten.I once ran a telemarketing scam, but could not stick to it because I did not like bothering people at home. I also wrote the books, The Ten Habits of Highly Successful Criminals and "A Criminal's Guide to Hiding in Mexico".
My criminal career officially begun when I was 12. I appointed myself Springfield Wallet Inspector. Then I later became the School Locker Inspector, Toll Collector of the Overgrown Path of the Bleachers and Keeper of Parental Credit Cards. My numerous Kwik-E-Mart heists are widely cited as the chief reason for the Great Beef Jerky Shortage of 1991.
I have son called Jeremy and a pet boa constrictor called 'Snake Jnr'.
Pet peeves: Drivers who slow down at red lights.
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