Dr. Nick Rivieraâ„¢

Hiii everybody! My name is Dr. Nick Riviera. I am a clinical doctor, rhinoplastologist, surgeon, bone-thingy guy, inventor, part-time janitor, and I'm also a drug dealer! Oh wait, nevermind that last one, whoopsie. You may have seen me on such television shows as "Wow! I Can't Believe They Invented It!" or, well, that's about it actually. I need to find work. There are many things that I enjoy. First and foremost, I love to make money for doing next to nothing! Hehe. I will perform any surgery for 129.95!That is a great deal if youask me. I am very good at helping people develop a diet. Be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use pop tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon! And, you can brush your teeth with milkshakes (thank you Bart). And remember, if you're not sure if you should eat something, rub it on a piece of paper. If it turns clear, it's your window to weight gain!