PLAYING GAMES! Fast Cars and Fast Women, revving my engine, Long drives down the beach, Traveling, Psychology, Longevity - (I'm a car, what do you expect?), Warming up to new ideas, Taking the Road Less Traveled, Splashing through puddles in the rain, spinning out, Doing Donuts, BIOGRAPHIES, Air Conditioning, playing ice hockey - but on the roads, staying lubricated, TeePee-ing things!
Responsible drivers on a closed course. Professionals only need apply. Respect and courtesy are also important in my travels....oh, and the Geico Gecko T.P. Car’s ; } Halloween Bash!!!! I never thought so many of my friends could have made it out to my Halloween Bash this year! Thank you all for coming. You guys freak’n Rock!!!!Thank you Mr. Clean for monitoring the door (although you did let Butt-Face in – who was mad cock-blocking Wilson on Magic 8-Ball! Fag!). Thank you I-5 and Speed Limit for keeping it safe and easy to get to.Thank you Construction Sawhorse for keeping the parking lot in check and watching The Weiner Mobile, General Lee, Bandit and Mater! Shame on you Herbie for popping wheelies and shit all over the parking lot. That was dangerous. Parking Space came as the invisible man – I didn’t even see you! That costume was tight. Signal and Candy Corn provided great lighting effects. The Toilet Boys played a rocking live set in the Rock&Bowling Area over by Public Toilet - who was hiding. The Coolest Chair EVER was there though!!!Thank you to Hose Clamp for bringing all the hose!!!! My Nuts, your nuts! Tee Hee! Toilet Tom showed up late but also had an awesome costume. Speedy Gonzalez introduced us to a new-comer: Tobasco - you spicy little thing, you! I didn't even realize how much Eating had it going on over by Booze and Alcohol. It was Phat!Madonna Toilet Seat and 7-11 were seen shooting craps (with fixed dice: 7-11 is a big cheater!). Bidget was trying to keep it clean, but ended up butting out. Speaking of “craps,†Poop never even showed up at all! What the hell poop? Did you get yourself into some kinda serious shit again, or have you just been hanging out with assholes?French Poop was the shit though, and was all over wine, who looked absolutely stunning in a shapely and classic outfit, with her brilliant red, well balanced body, long legs and sweet bouquet scent! “Bouquet†must be a French word. Either way, French Poop was holding onto her all night and couldn’t keep his lips off of her. ...cute couple. Do they match even!!!??? Foil Ball came alone after Giant Crochet Yarn Ball flaked on him. Mad props bruthah! Stay strong, you have a will of steel. AM/PM came and went without notice. Carla's Colon couldn't come. Buttcrack McGee claimed to have better shit to do. "Sassy" got lost in the surrounding woods with Forrest, who ran away and then just kept running. Denver said it was too far, and Borat was understandably busy promoting his new movie which premiered that weekend. Someone said they saw Kaleidescope??? ...who? Someone else brought Whistling Wand (???) ...what??! Chevron was self-promoting. Hey, this is a party! Simmer down and quit trying to recruit my friends! Wrench and Mr. Hankey played tic-tac-toe, while Mrs. Hankey just stood there bitching.Lava lamp was noticeably woozy, while Duct Tape just chilled and kinda stuck to himself.But the biggest hit of all was probably Uranus. Uranus was HUGE and floated noticeably and prominently throughout the entire event.Many people simply couldn’t keep their eyes off Uranus. And it didn’t seem to matter that she had a ring!!! Slut. I got a nice big picture of Uranus though. French Poop didn’t understand (because his Engrish is very limited) what was the big deal or what we were talking about, so Tree Freshener sent him off to go look look up Uranus, so he could understand. French Poop came back and proclaimed that Uranus is only one of many celestial bodies. Stuck-up frenchies. What can you say? At least there was nothing stuck-up about Uranus. STP wore a pink wig. Radio kept the vibe sexy, while the Rockstar couple were getting it on in the corner of the V.I.P. Room, with NASCAR racing up on the Bigscreen TV.Toilet Paper was totally getting fresh with Tree Freshenerwho was also hanging out in the same room, but Bubble Wrap took center stage in conversations and discussion. My Nuts wanted all the hose, but competition was fierce. Ice Cream seemed to have all the right moves, and he was busting out flavor. Hose Clamp pretty much had most of them on lockdown, anyway, and My Nuts couldn't find a single good screw throughout the entire party.At one point, I looked up past American Flag and saw the lights of the Goodyear Blimp …it read, “T.P. Car’s ; } a pimp!â€THAT'S RIGHT! T.P. Car ; } NOW HAS STICKERS!!! Send S.A.S.E and $5 (+$1 shipping and handling) to get your T.P. Car ; } Sticker, and receive an autographed picture of T.P. Car ; } or T.P. Car's ; } Halloween Bash, this year! Your choice!!Contest: SEND PICTURES OF "T.P. Car ; } STICKER" ON YOUR FRIENDS CAR, GETTING TOILET PAPERED AND I'LL PUT YOUR SHOTS INTO MY HALL OF FAME TO BE POSTED IN THE FUTURE!!! (or of course, you can just send them as comments... for fun!) This is a photo sent to me by "Christi" of her cousins Toilet Papering their Aunt Laurie's car - hehe! What you got, friends!!! My friend "Manatee" T.P.'d his friends Truck. Congrats! I'm sending you a free T.P. Car ; } Sticker!
Dashboard Confessional, White Stripes, Snow Petrol, The Cars, The Butthole Surfers, At the Drive Inn, The Doors, Cadillac Tramps, Stray Cats, Radio Head, Motor Head, Smashing Pumpkins, Muse, Silversun Pickups, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Angels and Airwaves, PANIC! At The Disco, and also emo stuff...I don't like Mike and the Mechanics or the Police
MoonStruck (haha!), Cocoon, Planes, Trains and Automobiles, Tucker, The Mummy, The Dukes of Hazard, Christine, Animal House, The Car Wash, (Disney's/ Pixars) "Car's", Starsky & Hutch, Days of Thunder, Back to the Future, Herbie Goes Bananas, The Fast and the Furious,I don't like: Traffic or Gone in Sixty Seconds
Pimp My Ride, The O.C., Racer X, Speed Racer, LAGUNA BEACH: The Real O.C., Night Rider, old CHIPS episodes, NASCAR, Jackass, Alli G, Trick it Out, and anything on the SPEED channel or FUEL
The Thomas Guide, The Potty Book, Cars and Trucks and Things that Go!, "Agape"; really any good bathroom mind fodder; but I read Mostly Magazines like: Car and Driver, Sport Compact, Road&Track, Importuner. And My operating manual.
The Bat Mobile, Herbie, The General Lee, Kit, James Dean, Camry DiazWhat kind of French Poop lover are you?You and French Poop are the match made in heaven. You can take him everywhere, and proudly. French Poop is very loyal. Make sure you do not mind having the little pebble-sized baby poops someday. Find F.P. at http://www.myspace.com/frenchpoop or http://frenchpoop.com Take this quiz This quiz brought to you by quizcreate.com