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Porsche Monkey

Porsche Monkey, There is No Substitute

About Me



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I’m a monkey. I used to live in a zoo, but now I live in an apartment. I have always been a sports car enthusiast. So I saved up my money and bought me a Porsche. Many think of monkeys as small and hairy poo-flickers (we do love to flick poo) but bear in mind that monkeys made it to space before humans. When us monkeys put our minds to something we can accomplish anything, even own an expensive sports car.

My Interests

Fast cars and Primates

I'd like to meet:

Dian Fossey, Sasquatch, Davy Jones, King Kong, and Clyde (from "Every Which Way But Loose")

Create your own Friend Test here

Music:

I enjoy music from an organ grinder, The Monkees, Bananarama, and songs about driving fast.

Movies:

-King Kong (The original, not that Peter Jackson piece of shit)
-Twelve Monkeys
-Harry and the Hendersons
-Planet of the Apes (The original, Tim Burton needs to stop doing remakes, first Apes then Willy Wonka, your fucking killing me Tim)
-Beneath the Planet of the Apes
-Battle for the Planet of the Apes
-Escape from the Planet of the Apes
-Conquest of the Planet of the Apes
-Farewell to the Planet of the Apes
-Monkey Shines
-Cars
-Dunston Checks In
-Monkeybone
-Ed
-Every Which Way But Loose
-Any Which Way You Can
-Gorillas in the Mist
-Project X
-Tarzan, the Ape Man
-King Kong Lives
-Congo
-Iron Monkey

Television:

-Animal Planet
-The Banana Splits
-Love Monkey
-The Great Grape Ape Show

Books:

Curious George

My Blog

CJ & Porsche Monkey's Bogus Journey

Last week I picked up my cousin CJ from Brookfield where he had been serving 6 years.  On the way home CJ said "After we git home, let's hit the Gash Bar, ben long time since CJ eyed a vertical s...
Posted by Porsche Monkey on Mon, 30 Apr 2007 08:27:00 PST

Cousin CJ

Last night I received a collect call from my cousin CJ.  CJ has been serving 6 years Brookfield for a drive by flinging.  I was a little curious to what CJ might want, so I accepted the cha...
Posted by Porsche Monkey on Mon, 16 Apr 2007 09:31:00 PST

Bro Job

Well today I went to my parents house for Easter dinner.  My brother George had already moved in.  His shit must have already been packed because it didn't take him very long to get settled ...
Posted by Porsche Monkey on Mon, 09 Apr 2007 09:24:00 PST

The Family Dinner

My family used to have a big dinner every Sunday.  The tradition has since died, partly because my brother moved away.  My brother was in town this last Sunday and mom thought it would be gr...
Posted by Porsche Monkey on Mon, 26 Mar 2007 09:29:00 PST

PriMATES - Legal Trouble

Last year I began writting about a reality television show called "PriMATES".  In late October I was contacted by the producer of the show that by posting blogs about their show I was in violatio...
Posted by Porsche Monkey on Tue, 06 Mar 2007 07:45:00 PST

PriMATES - Kami

Thursday night I got a call from Producer Monkey.  He wanted to tell me my date with Suitor #2 was Friday at TGIFridays.  I asked him if this one was better than Brenda, that beast the show ...
Posted by Porsche Monkey on Mon, 16 Oct 2006 11:31:00 PST

PriMATES - Brenda

When I got home from work Thursday, I had a message on my machine from Producer Monkey.  He instructed me that my date with Suitor #1 would take place this Friday at Outback Steakhouse and left m...
Posted by Porsche Monkey on Sun, 08 Oct 2006 02:55:00 PST

PriMATES

I got a call the other day from my old friend Simian Cowell, all his friends call him Producer Monkey.  He was telling me how he was creating a new Reality show for Fox called "PriMATES".  ...
Posted by Porsche Monkey on Mon, 02 Oct 2006 07:13:00 PST

The Autograph

The other day I was reading the local newspaper and I spotted something interesting Bubbles (Michael Jackson's chimp) was going to be signing autographs at the Banana Republic from Noon to five. ...
Posted by Porsche Monkey on Tue, 26 Sep 2006 09:19:00 PST