KinkyMonkey

before i became the famous stunt monkey you all know and adore, i had very humble beginnings ...
i was just a small town chimp. born and raised in south detroit. one night, i decided to take the midnight train going anywhere.
eventually, i ended up in philadelphia. at first, i simply lived on the streets, resorting to singing on street corners to survive. i'll tell you what -- singing primates can rake in quite a bit of money. but unfortunately, i wasted it all on hookers and drugs. i was one strung out crack monkey.
but i got my first big break in the adult film industry. i started out behind the scenes working as a fluffer. but after one drunken evening of shagging a leading lady, i quickly got put in front of the camera. in my first film (12 Inch Monkeys), i was in the credits as simply "gus". but after filming Monkey Business 6: Kinky Monkeys in Cages, i earned my KinkyMonkey nickname, which has stuck with me ever since.
(for the observant reader, you'll notice i am not a monkey -- i am actually a chimpanzee! however, the porn directors aren't the sharpest tools in the shed and didn't know the difference, so it just stuck! in case you were curious ...)
i went on to make 744 adult movies, which left me with a pretty large savings account. at this point, i moved to utah and trained with one of the best stunt animals in the business: alvin the tortoise. he had cracked his shell while jumping off a 80-foot cliff in fiji and could never work again. so he wanted to pass on the tricks of the trade to some young blood. so for 4 years, i trained with him day and night.
when alvin died tragically showing me how to do a cartwheel off a moving train, i swore on his grave that i'd reach the potential he never did. so i packed up and moved to los angeles.
although i faced much rejection over the next few years, fate was on my side. one day while walking home from a casting call, i came across a burning office building. there, a women was screaming out of an 8th story window. immediately, my instincts took over and i climbed up the side of the building (remember, i am a chimp afterall). it was a very dramatic rescue with me helping her crawl along the side of the building and jumping into the back of a garbage truck nearby. what i didn't realize is that the local news had filmed the whole thing, and i got my 15 mins of fame.
the short-lived heroic status of course sparked many hollywood producers and directors to ask me to be in their films. which began my illustrious career as a stunt monkey.