IF YOU REALLY WANT MY 'Thanks for the add!' PLAQUES, then do not bloody add me WITHOUT sending a request to my messages!!
Eye-popping patterns, being over the top, bright and clashing colours, looking at myself for hours on end in the large gilded mirror that hangs in my parolor, profane jewelery, making a game out of Madonna's career...the same old bloody thing.
I'd like to meet:
I would basically love to meet anyone who hates Madonna for lipsynching, and anyone who would love to hear my beautiful piano tunes. Tom, the myspace founder. I guess I feel badly for him, what will all these people on this site who look like him...it seems to me that he's got one ordinary-looking face. LOOKING FOR: Some sodding sunglasses that have a decent purple tint.
The Tom Myspace Quiz!
Are you a Tom? I am Elton Tom...you had better remember that name.
If so what is your Tom name? I've already told you, you cheeky bugger!
What is your favorite tom other than yourself? I love the Tom I look at every day in my lavish gilded parlour mirror.
How long has your page been around? For some bloody time.
Do you only add Toms? I will certainly add you if you hate Madonna.
Do you hate any other Toms? I've only just said that I hate Madonna!
Are you addicted to getting new freinds? The friends I get love my beautiful music. They deserve an award for recognising pure genius!
Do you post a lot of bulletins? I post bulletins for no one. Unless it's an 'I hate Madonna' chain.
What do you think about mochachinos? I bloody love to sip them whilst reading the freshest copy of Vogue:Elton.
Are you on Myspace every moment you get? It is a personal choice to go on myspace. I certainly don't need the exposure, as I am so famously popular!
What is the purpose of your page? To showcase my endless talents.
Have you started any Tom Clubs? I will start no bleeding Tom clubs; I don't need to!
Have you joined any Tom Clubs? I have joined one Tom Club, as some of the uncultured Toms out there need to know who's boss.
Have you made a "Thanks for the add" picture? Yes, with that shows my fashionista expertise!
Have you ever whored anybody? No. I refuse to create another Madonna situation.
Have you ever been whored? I don't need to be...I am ELTON TOM!
Have you ever started any type of club? What kind of bloody question is that?
Have you ever joined any type of club? I refuse to answer such a buggered question!
Do you think tom is hardcore emo? I could care less if Tom is emo...as long as he has great fashion, he's okay in my book. And if you are okay in my book, you are set for life.
Do you think Myspace is for fags? What chav made this question?
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
Music:
That Elton John chap is quite a hero of mine. He makes some smashing tunes. I also enjoy Connie Bailey Rae, Hilary Duff, Duncan Sheik, Carrie Underwood, Cher, William Shatner, the Rolling Stones, Queen, Gorillaz, Liberace and Paris Hilton.
Movies:
The Godfather, Anchorman, The Million Dollar Hotel and Ben Stiller films. So many movies are such junk these days...
Television:
Oprah, The View, Family Feud, Sailor Moon, Judge Judy, COPS, Spongebob Squarepants, Date My Mom and the 4400. If I can ever see these programmes, life will go on.
Books:
That Anne Coulter book was riveting. What a snore.
Heroes:
Tom Anderson, that bleeding man who made myspace. People tell me that I have quite a resembelance to him, but I personally think it's a load of bull. He does seem like a nice guy, though.
