Bakes

The Mother of All Father's Day Blahgs

It's Father's Day weekend, and children everywhere will be texting their happy day wishes to the family patriarch."Hi Pops. Happy FD. TTYL! - Lil Guido"Evander Holyfield's blown up cell phone will be ...
Posted by Bakes" on Sun, 17 Jun 2007 04:53:00 PST

Girlz 'N the Hood

Where the fuck are all the gangstas?Over a decade removed from eye openers such as Colors, John Singleton's Boyz 'N the Hood, the murders of Tupac and Biggie, and the aforementioned West Coa...
Posted by Bakes" on Mon, 11 Jun 2007 09:06:00 PST

Just a commercial folks...

Let's not consider this an official blahg. As it turns out, this is simply a thirty-second spot as a ramp-up for season two.You see, with a fortnight's sabbatical behind us, today was the day that we...
Posted by Bakes" on Mon, 04 Jun 2007 09:27:00 PST

McDonalds Going Green?

Mmmmm. A McLawsuit.In a most grimacing display of cross-selling, an eight-year old Illinois girl opened her Happy Meal this week only to find a bag of weed, a pipe for dipping, and a lighter to wash i...
Posted by Bakes" on Sat, 19 May 2007 11:27:00 PST

Legit Surname Profiling

Welcome.My last name is Baker. This means that my people baked...and perhaps b~a~k~e~d.Hills lived on hills. Millers had big lips and worked in mills. Bushs, like weasels, lived in the bush. Parkers w...
Posted by Bakes" on Wed, 16 May 2007 10:44:00 PST

Hey Mom, the TV Adds 10 Lbs.

(this blog contains a possible Sopranos spoiler, so be careful if you're a fan of fat, sweaty TV) OK, you're right. I'll spare y'all the re-tread mom jokes. Sorry, Buckwheat. We'll get to you and...
Posted by Bakes" on Mon, 14 May 2007 06:33:00 PST

Slow Ride...Take It Sleazy

Don't go reading this blahg thinking I'm some mean person.I just want to tell you a quick little tale about a man driven to succeed...and damnit, he would've succeeded if he was driven.Excuse me, Holm...
Posted by Bakes" on Sat, 12 May 2007 06:12:00 PST

Haiku and The Horse You Rode In On

Yes, I know it's been a while. I've been away wondering whatever happened to Blossom.This writer could give two shits about Punky Brewster.Let's dive right in and get your crank cranking.NASCAR, get r...
Posted by Bakes" on Wed, 09 May 2007 10:33:00 PST

From Milk to Milf Lickity-Split

Yesterday on my lunch hour, I pulled in to my favorite full-service gas station for a fill-up because I'm lazy. It's my favorite because they employ the Sam Farha of gas-pumpers - a kind man patrollin...
Posted by Bakes" on Sun, 29 Apr 2007 04:26:00 PST

Urine Good Health!

(OK, I'm going to throw this out there now. Some of you might find this passage juvenile and disgusting. You're left with a simple choice. You can click out of here and go back to the bullshit spam in...
Posted by Bakes" on Wed, 25 Apr 2007 10:47:00 PST