Mr Smeam and his Eponymous Glue Factory profile picture

Mr Smeam and his Eponymous Glue Factory

mrsmeam

About Me


Want to meet horses in your area? Simply text "HORSE" to 81318 and you could be swapping messages and photos today!
............................................................ ................................................I am a leading horse and I own my own glue factory. I am thinking of expanding my business into the sea. But my map says, "Here be dragons." Seahorses please advise.
I have various instruments in my garden shed, including an exotic cone (lightning attractor, sold to me at a boot sale). When I try to put it on my head I can't reach and I fall over. But then it made me a genius that last time when the lightning came, and you never want to go TOO FAR.
I can play five musical instruments, but not at the same time. I'd like to meet other horses who might be able to play the songs I've written. No time wasters please. I am a graduate of Equine University.
............................................................ ................................................MEN OF YORKSHIRE

My Interests

Nibbling, chewing, grazing, hearty and robust young fillies (sensuous sables, chesty chestnuts, even a dizzy dapple, I'm not fussy), romping, nuzzling, Sugar lumps! and cryogenic hamster experiments

I'd like to meet:

All my friends in heaven. Hans and Helga Moretti.
Japanese women who play musical instruments.

Music:

Cardiacs and friends
(The Monsoon Bassoon, Levitation, Dark Star, Spratleys Japs, Sea Nymphs, William D Drake, Mikrokosmos, North Sea Radio Orchestra, Shrubbies), King Crimson (Adrian Belew, Bruford, Bill Bruford's Earthworks), Tatsuya Yoshida (Ruins, Koenjihyakkei, Korekyojin), Boredoms, OOIOO, Krautrock esp Faust, Slapp Happy, Pere Ubu, Yes, Rush, Sparks, Roy Orbison, Talk Talk, Jethro Tull, Zeuhl (Magma, Dun, Eider Stellaire, Eskaton, Shub-Niggurath, Zao, Weidorje, Happy Family, Guapo, Miasma and the Carousel of Headless Horses), RIO (Thinking Plague, 5uu's, Bob Drake, Art Bears, News from Babel, Samla Mammas Manna, Aksak Maboul), chamber prog (Art Zoyd, Univers Zero, Present), XTC, Alamaailman Vasarat, This Heat, Bill Frisell, Black Sabbath, Gong, math rock and some post-rock (Don Caballero, Slint, Upsilon Acrux, Rodan, Medications, Faraquet, Rumah Sakit, Ahleuchatistas, Piglet, Heavy Vegetable, Boud Deun, Dilute, Hella, Sweep the Leg Johnny), Bauhaus, The Beatles, Bongwater, Syd Barrett, Kate Bush, David Bowie, Sun Ra, John Coltrane, Django Reinhardt, Thelonious Monk, Frank Zappa, Stevie Wonder, David Sylvian/Japan/Rain Tree Crow/Nine Horses/Jansen-Barbieri-Karn, acid/wyrd folk (Comus, Mellow Candle, Faun Fables), Primus, The Divine Comedy, Depeche Mode, Devo, Sleepytime Gorilla Museum, 2 Foot Yard, Stolen Babies, Fishbone, Peter Gabriel, Diamanda Galas, Ozric Tentacles, Gunesh, Red Snapper, The Orb, Radiohead, Kayo Dot, Bulgarian wedding music (Ivo Papasov, Yuri Yunakov), Cheikha Rimitti, Touch, Quiet Sun, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Steve Tibbetts, Paul Schutze

Movies:

The Wicker Man, Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, Flash Gordon, Watership Down, Faust, Zardoz, Santa Sangre, Eraserhead, Labyrinth, Koyaanisqatsi, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Ghosts Before Breakfast, Last Year in Marienbad, Batman: The Movie, Troll 2, Glen or Glenda, Hercules in New York, Eegah, King Ralph

Television:

The Littlest Hobo, Monkey, Fraggle Rock, The Adventure Game, Sapphire and Steel, Hart to Hart, Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, Murun Buchstansangur

Books:

The Master and Margarita, Under the Volcano, The Good Soldier Svejk, Maldoror, The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch, If on a Winter's Night a Traveller, Tristram Shandy, Journey to the West, The Anatomy of Melancholy, anything by Stendhal and Dostoevsky (obviously)

Heroes:

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sir Alan Sugar,
for inventing
Sugar lumps!

My Blog

Vote Mr Smeam!

In my daily life as a successful businesshorse and respected member of the community, I am often asked what I would do to help solve the many problems facing London and the people ...
Posted by Mr Smeam and his Eponymous Glue Factory on Tue, 22 Apr 2008 09:05:00 PST

I for one would pay good money

If any of you perchance works in Hollywood, may I suggest that you tout the idea of storyboarding "Aliens vs Predator vs Scrappy-Doo"? Imagine the cheers in the auditorium as the little fuck...
Posted by Mr Smeam and his Eponymous Glue Factory on Thu, 07 Feb 2008 08:55:00 PST

Aargh!

Children on buses! Children on buses! Bastards! No one has yet set up a MySpace profile for King Herod but if one of you wants to you have a friend in me.
Posted by Mr Smeam and his Eponymous Glue Factory on Tue, 15 Jan 2008 02:56:00 PST

An announcement by THE MR SMEAM BIRTHDAY CONCERN

It seems that SOME OF YOU (whose various excesses and deficits of the four humours dispose you to be of a more LILY-LIVERED and GUARDIAN-READING temperament) can neither be sufficiently ENTICED n...
Posted by Mr Smeam and his Eponymous Glue Factory on Wed, 09 Jan 2008 09:46:00 PST

Miscellanea

I am eating a fish finger sandwich with tomato ketchup. The box says fish fingers are a good source of Omega 3. All very well and good, but it does beg the question, what happened to Omega 1...
Posted by Mr Smeam and his Eponymous Glue Factory on Thu, 13 Dec 2007 09:12:00 PST

The best laid bands

Some mysterious, shady organisation is planting red elastic bands on the pathways and driveways that lead to the front doors of houses all around London. Why on earth would they be doing this? Is it t...
Posted by Mr Smeam and his Eponymous Glue Factory on Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:44:00 PST

Five golden emerods

Tales tell of a goldsmith once rather perplexed to receive an order for five golden haemorrhoids and five golden mice. "Bloody Philistines!" he shouted, and he was, curiously enough, right. "It's five...
Posted by Mr Smeam and his Eponymous Glue Factory on Fri, 24 Aug 2007 09:15:00 PST

Is the wait nearly over?

That ugly runt Mark of Harvey (he's not my friend, I just can't seem to shake him off) asked me to pass on the following message, because I have more friends than he (ha ha!): He says he is very sorry...
Posted by Mr Smeam and his Eponymous Glue Factory on Thu, 26 Jul 2007 11:08:00 PST

Future shock

Today I bought an album in a great new format they call "vinyl". It's circular and so black you can see yourself in it and it comes in a wrapper that's a foot square, which means the artwork on the fr...
Posted by Mr Smeam and his Eponymous Glue Factory on Mon, 23 Jul 2007 09:32:00 PST

George had a hat

Some people are growing impatient to hear my music. All I ask is that you please "hold your horses"; good music takes time, like a good wine. You may be interested to know that "Genie Gone" is co...
Posted by Mr Smeam and his Eponymous Glue Factory on Wed, 04 Jul 2007 10:01:00 PST