Miss Namaste Peaceout - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I seek like-minded individuals, persons unafraid to live their lives with arms akimbo and bony hips thrust frankly forward. When you read that last sentence out loud, does spittle fly? Then you know we must meet. And so we shall.

For you to buy groceries, it is not a question of, "Oh, what shall I eat?"
It is a question of, "What props do I require for this evening's performance?" It is a question of, "Will my audience be more enlightened by a Virginia ham or by a feather duster?"

Sometimes, the financial realities of the artist's existence will change the very nature of the questions I ask. At such moments, the question becomes, "Will these items fit securely under my sweater and stay there as I leave the store?"

Questions. I will never stop asking them.

I have brought my vision to fruition with the aid of Thomas' Myspace Editor V4.4

My Interests

Colonic irrigation! Please enquire about my special offer for MySpace members!

I'd like to meet:

Helen Keller, Sir Charles Tupper, Quentin Crisp, Teresa Brewer.

Music:

Sometimes I paint for days on end, listening to nothing but "Yes, We Have No Bananas" on an endless loop. It takes me to the very edge of who I am as an artist, the very essence.

Movies:

Ishtar, Heaven's Gate, Showgirls, Bewitched, the three most recent Star Wars films.

Television:

Community-access cable! Jejune, to be sure, but ultimately most authentic!

Books:

The Farmer's Almanac (the 1987 edition still moves me incredibly), any of Leonard Maltin's movie guides.

Heroes:

The person who had to poke the Pillsbury Doughboy in so many hundreds of commercials. Hats off to you, my friend!

My Blog

Christmas Past, Christmas Present

When I think back to the Christmases I had as a child, I remember just snippets. But somehow, those little fragments are colourful enough, powerful enough, to fill in all the blank spaces that surrou...
Posted by Miss Namaste Peaceout on Sun, 24 Dec 2006 05:52:00 PST

A Most Festive Wrap Party!

At precisely 11:58 p.m. Sunday night, Lily uploaded her latest pornographic video to her website.Her mood improved immediately. She gave me a big hug, and apologized for her earlier shortness of temp...
Posted by Miss Namaste Peaceout on Sat, 09 Dec 2006 03:35:00 PST

A Restless Night, a Disturbing Dream

The weekend was frantically busy at Lily Nguyen's place. She had committed to posting her video at www.hotasianbitches.com no later than Sunday night, and was fearful of losing subscribers should tha...
Posted by Miss Namaste Peaceout on Wed, 06 Dec 2006 01:19:00 PST

Recovering Slowly

"You like some more green tea?"Lily Nguyen spoke as softly as a mother to a sick child. She had just wrung out a cold washcloth and was draping it across my forehead.I looked at Lily, and tears fille...
Posted by Miss Namaste Peaceout on Sat, 02 Dec 2006 01:45:00 PST

Another Open Letter to Mr. Kevin Federline

Dear Mr. Federline,It is now two weeks since I sent you my first open letter, a heartfelt missive in which I offered you employment at the Arnprior Centre for Colonic Irrigation and the Arts. Since t...
Posted by Miss Namaste Peaceout on Wed, 29 Nov 2006 07:36:00 PST

The Capons Come Home to Roost

Yesterday was very busy at the Arnprior Centre for Colonic Irrigation and the Arts. I scarcely had time to sterilize my nozzles in between clients! But that is exactly what I was attempting to do wh...
Posted by Miss Namaste Peaceout on Sun, 19 Nov 2006 04:05:00 PST

Fear my art...if you dare

As an artist in several media (theatre, video, music, sculpture, paints, biohazardous waste), I feel an impulse, or perhaps a sacred obligation, to bring ordinary folk into my world, my process.I have...
Posted by Miss Namaste Peaceout on Sat, 30 Sep 2006 07:30:00 PST

An Open Letter to Mr. Kevin Federline

Dear Mr. Federline,It is now seven weeks since I visited your MySpace page and requested that my name be added to your Friends page. Alas, there has been no response. I confess that I was hurt by yo...
Posted by Miss Namaste Peaceout on Sun, 12 Nov 2006 04:52:00 PST

Forging ahead regardless

It had been my plan to mount a performance-art farewell to Daylight Saving Time. I spent all of Saturday burning with the shameful awareness of my failure. What kind of artist am I, I wondered, if I...
Posted by Miss Namaste Peaceout on Fri, 03 Nov 2006 11:15:00 PST

On Hiring The Fabulous Tim-Tones

If you've ever been to Arnprior, even just long enough to use the rest room at the Esso station, you will surely know of The Fabulous Tim-Tones. For nearly thirty years, they've lured out all the hepc...
Posted by Miss Namaste Peaceout on Sat, 28 Oct 2006 03:20:00 PST