Sacajawea: The Story of Spider Problem
Spider Problem may be one of the greatest band names of the last ten years. Spider. Frightening, yet oddly sensual at the same time. Problem. Equally frightening, yet not sensual at all. These two words, fused together by a dream, echo the sound of a new generation of artists... a generation of artists with a penchant for panting.
John and Shayne have been peddling their magic around L.A. for a just few short years, but their influence is rippling across the city like a television screen during a flashback sequence. They met in the graphics department of an “edgy†clothing company. Shayne was flitting about, flying from window sill to window sill. John was trying to turn the janitor onto twee. John had had a good run with his bands _ and _ , and Shayne had had a good run. They decided to combine their life experiences and devote their lives to looking after children. It did not take a whole lot of searching to find just the right pair of musically-inclined, ruddy-cheeked young ones. While John was chalking landscapes in the park and Shayne was talking to her umbrella, they ran into Johnny and Chris who, at the time, were flying kites up to the highest heights. Shayne was inspired by their innocence and sense of wonder, while John felt slightly awkward. This is largely due to the fact that Johnny played in _ with him and they hadn’t seen each other since their _ glory days. After the four of them helped tidy the nursery (no one is sure who’s nursery it was) they began to write songs and play them where ever they could.
When listening to a Spider Problem song, it’s very probable that one will experience an emotional roller coaster, or at least emotional car sickness. Arocknophobia, their debut release, is an intricate tapestry bejeweled with honest and inquisitive moments that intend to reflect the human condition. When I asked Shayne about the meaning of her cryptic lyrics, she insisted on keeping Spider Problem’s signature air of mystery very... mysterious “First of all I would like to make one thing quite clear,†she began, “I never explain anything†Under Shayne’s caterwauling vocals lay an under-yet-overstated guitar sound that simply inspires. “Not royal academy, I suppose,†observes John, referring to their body of work thus far, “Still better than a finger in the eye, ain’t they?â€
Live shows are something else entirely. With their solid stage presence and Shayne’s knack for drawing energy out of the most aloof Los Angeles crowd, they manage to bring a new life to their music that must be experienced firsthand. Also, bananas, glitter, decapitated plush toys, and sexual Dakota Fanning jokes, whilst combined, can warm a heart faster than a hot plate. “Bananas?†you say, “But what business do they have being in a rock ‘n’ roll show?†Some things are simply meant to be without reason. As Johnny would say, “Kindly do not attempt to cloud the issue with factsâ€
I think it was Charles Baudelaire who said “Life is a dreadful, constant stream of pain and suffering in which we all float like stale baguettes. Slaves to our primitive bodies, we copulate, defecate, and consume simultaneously amidst the turbulent currents, foolishly trying to keep our heads above water whilst superficially contemplating our existence. The corrupt nature we have maintained, the hurt we inflict and endure, can only be punctuated by Spider Problem, which is pretty badass†or something to that effect. Hope, love, transcendence, nirvana. All these words come to mind when listening to “The End†on their MySpace profile, or standing in the back of some shitty bar watching Shayne rolling around stage in a figure skating dress. Perhaps I am the best testament to their profound effect on the lives of young people. I rise from my lumpy bed every morning, battling the emotional and physical fatigue of living in a dormitory every morning. I walk across my college campus, evading army recruiters and sorority rushes. Haughty professors, keg-stand friends, endless construction, and the marching band that sees to practicing the Main Star Wars theme every week day at 8:00AM. My only respite is Spider Problem, and it has led me to write this piece which you have so kindly read. Take away what you will from this, but at least know in your heart that this all comes from a pure and passionate place- the heart of an eighteen year-old girl who would like nothing more to spread the gospel. Oh, and I’m Shayne’s little sister, so that might have something to do with it.
"Spider Problem are definitely one of the craziest bands in los angeles today. if you haven't seen their live show, you're missing out on something."
Rock Insider
"If it hasn't previously been a goal of yours to see this band, make it so immediately."
Squaregirls
"Everything about this band is something of a contradiction, and that's precisely what makes them great."
Audiomuffin
"Almost dangerous."
Keep A Breast
"they'll be at The Silverlake Lounge for the rest of the month on Mondays and I give a strong recommendation that you go check it out.."
Classical Geek Theatre/
