Stephen Murray

Hello and greetings to you and you and yours and yours. I am a poet and occasional performer. Here's the boring stuff. I have performed as guest poet at the Green Mill, Chicago; The Bowery, New York; The Sweetest Word, Detroit; Laushaus, Bamberg, Landsberg and Regensberg (all German cities just like Luxemburg); Minoriten Kultur, Graz, Austria; Cafe Huber, Vienna; The Bardroom, Budapest; The Bedroom (at my place); The White House, Limerick; Provocateur, Prague; The Prague Fringe Festival; Electric Picnic, Lois, Eire; The Twelve Bar Club, London; Kabaret, London. I have also appeared on US radio on 'The Lit Show'and on Ireland's Live TV. I was Cuirt International Lit Fest Poetry Grand Slam Champion 2005 and the Electric Picnic Slam Champion 2007. Here's the good stuff. I am also a great dancer, and can be found in the funkiest clubs in the world bustin my moves in funk heaven. My secret? I dance with my own shadow and my shadow is a brilliant dancer. Of course he is he's black, hence my dazzling moves. Oftentimes not withstanding any said or unsaid altercations the natures of which may or may not be savoury or otherwise I say lots and nothing at the same time. Please note. I am a powerful yet tender lover, commanding yet compromising. I am aslo quite tough, strong and err... brave yes that's right, down right valiant, cavalier even. Oh and charming, somtimes funny, always modest, extremely cheeky. Thunder is mine though I am self deprecating on stage and self defecating in bed, but don't let that put you off. I have problems with foot fungus and an alergy to soaps. My greatest talent is flatulence, although sometimes I do put one past my own keeper if you get my drift and when I was at school I could piss higher up the wall than any of the boys. Fact. Oh yeah and you know that thing? The one where guys get up drunk in their sleep and piss in the wardrobe? I am the king at that. Oh yeah and if any one knows of any anti sceptic cock deoderant with aloa vera please let me know cos the situation is getting way out of hand. I am lover of women, farming and tits. Personally I prefer them not too big cos they're easier to drive when their smaller. I'm not into bum sex cos that's where poo goes and not the pink champion (funny, as I wrote that I sang it to myself). One day I will rule the world in tyranny and pink pyjamas. Until then ha ha ha... now my pretty pretties if you'll allow me I shall take you by the hair and drag you back my cave. (cue: BOOMING LAUGHTER)