Groucho

I was born Julius Henry Marx on October 2nd 1890 in NY city.Family includesLeonard Marx-Chico Marx 1887-1961 Arthur Marx-Harpo Marx 1888-1964 Milton Marx-Gummo Marx 1892-1977 Herbert Marx-Zeppo Marx 1901-1979~Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.~~Room service? Send up a larger room.~~Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?~~Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.~~He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.~~I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.~ ~A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.~~From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.~~Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!~~You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?~~You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I'll bet he was glad to get rid of it.~~A man's only as old as the woman he feels.~~Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?~~Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.~~Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.~~I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.~~I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.~~If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.~~I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.~~It is better to have loft and lost than to never have loft at all.~~I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.~~Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.~~Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honour; which is probably more than she ever did.~~Women should be obscene and not heard.~~Time wounds all heels.~~Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!~~Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.~~As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.~~Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.~