Randy&reg profile picture

Randy&reg

Real men don't need quotes, but they do swing axes.

About Me


Get Your Own Voice Player Manage
This category is fatuous. It ought to say, "How would others describe you." Of course that might be a stretch too. Who can write about themselves and get it right?? Not me. I get asked if I play basketball pretty frequently. I ask those people if they play miniature golf. I work as an engineer so maybe that says it all? I like to write using parenthetical thoughts (it's really the best way to include what I'm thinking). I recently learned that you're not supposed to use two spaces after a period at the end of a sentence (who knew??).(space space)I like to quote from movies. I like to eat ice cream and popsicles in the winter. I like to tell people I'm 5'8" and see their reaction. I need to get my cowboy boots resoled (still, really it's borderline ridiculous). I'm always armed with chapstick and a pocket knife. I think it's better to be a smartass than a dumbass. I like the mountains and the ocean. I like the fact that I'm an animated super hero, really I am. I like firefighting. I believe all fire fighters are part pyro. Did I mention I used to fight fires? I've never really liked... oh never mind. I'd druther have my druthers. Does any of this tell you anything? I think the best way to insult someone is to let them finish what they are saying and then say "anyway"... it's subtle yet effective. This is a test of the "about me" writing system. This is only a test. Had this been a real description it would have included proper accountings of myself and what I'm like. Please continue reading. I consider myself a Jack-of-all-trades, master of many (guess that puts Ben Franklin and me on the same page). I hate the daylight savings time system (damn Ben Franklin). I like pie better than cake. I have to have coffee to be normal... ok, yeah that's a stretch. I really like Starbucks and I don't know why; maybe it's because they serve coffee? I am continually baffled as to why a person would buy titanium cookware. It's a mystery I tell you. Any of this make sense to those of you who know me?? Probably makes more sense to those who don't.

My Interests



Basketball, backpacking, hunting, target shooting, shooting the breeze, paintball, Chevy muscle cars, guitar, singing, acting, weight lifting, weight putting down, and bike riding. Come on everyone says that stuff. Who says things like, nose bleeding, peeing for distance, honing their skills at making toast, and studying the echos of duck quacks? I don't. But I do like picking on short people, oh, and I'm trying to quit (whatever that means).

Asteroids


I'd like to meet:

Who picks the content categories? Hm, whom DON'T I want to meet? I guess I really don't want to meet any more people who have no sense of humor. That list is getting quite full thank you very much. Them, and oh I'm not too big on people who drive slow in the fast lane. Those people need to just find a bridge, and perhaps drive slowly off of it. Those folks out there that are completely ignorant seem to take up too much time so I'll pass on meeting any more of them too (see slow driver comment). If you're in one of those categories, thanks for playing. We have some nice parting gifts for you (I'm not sure who 'we' are but we will be in touch with you, rest assured).I guess, I'd like to meet anyone who can formulate intelligent questions (ok I'll even accept dumb ones) esp. based on the content of my profile. Steve Largent and Ron Bath are my heroes, I'd like to meet them one day.Also, People who know how to properly use the words too, to, and two, and they're, their, and there in a sentence (and your and you're -- that's growing on my list), and/or if you know that the whole frog boiling thing is a myth, then you're on my list of people I need to meet.

Music:



Yes. That's as in yes I have favorite music (and it's too diverse to list all the types, groups, bands, etc.) not Yes the band, although they're good too. Really, I just made that up, I only like the music in the Vonage commercials. Yep that's it. I listen to that all day long without a break. You should try it. Also, if you've read everything on my page up to this point you seriously need to see a doctor. I'm not even sure I want to meet you or add you as a friend. Seriously, there may be something wrong with you, or... is it me? Hmm. Keep reading maybe it'll all work out.

Movies:

Princess Bride, American Graffiti, M.P.'s Holy Grail, Caddyshack, Blues Brothers, Strange Brew, Red Dawn, Falling Down, The Outsiders, I'm sure there are many more that I could list, but what does this really tell anyone anyway?

Television:

I think I have a tv, oh yeah it's the 46" screen thingy in my living room. Lost is on on Wednesday that I know for sure (I think), that and Alias sucks me in occasionally but less so now since it's not on Wednesday nite directly following Lost (who are the marketing geniuses that moved it??). I think Seinfeld is one of the best shows ever to run on television in my lifetime, Letterman is good if I'm up late, Cheers was really good once upon a time. People who say they don't watch T.V. are liars. Either that or they don't know that T.V. is an abbreviation for television, but honestly which category would you rather fall into?

Books:

I read a book once. It was pretty boring. Then someone (I don't remember who now) pointed out that reading the phonebook cover to cover might be boring. I must say that the yellow pages had me for a while. It turned out to be a tragedy though, and I've never really liked tragedies. Not even the BeeGees song. Well that's a lie, I did like that for a while. If it's really important for you to know, here are the authors and books I like to read: Anything by Patrick McManus, Anything by Frank Peretti, Anything by Chuck Missler, 100 Hikes in the Inland Northwest, Andromeda Strain, 100 Classic Hikes in Washington, The Left Behind Series, Darwin on Trial, The Lord of the Rings, Muscle and Fitness (not really a book), The Outsiders, Patent it Yourself, My Cabelas catalog, the manual for my cell phone (I think it was translated from the original Chineese by a guy who had my 5th grade teacher teach him English), Better Houses Better Living, Case Dismissed (how to fight speeding tickets), Anything by C.S. Lewis. Really though who reads books when there are so many good blogs?

Heroes:

My heroes are Ron Bath and Steve Largent. Not too many people know who they are but I'll tell you if you knew them (or of them), you'd know why they are. UPDATE: Richard , you are my hero!
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Randy
Birthday: I've had to supress that memory
Birthplace: Hospital
Current Location: Electrical outlet
Eye Color: Greenish
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 6'3"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: American
The Shoes You Wore Today: Still wearing them.
Your Weakness: Pretty girls (fortunately I have four in my life)
Your Fears: That I don't live up to my own expectations
Your Perfect Pizza: Vandal (it's a local thing)
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Agent's license
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Really?
Thoughts First Waking Up: I should go running
Your Best Physical Feature: Smile
Your Bedtime: Earlier than I like to admit
Your Most Missed Memory: How should I know?
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: Neither
Single or Group Dates: Depends on the activity.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Aren't they basically the same? Long Island Ice tea is really the only way to go.
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee
Do you Smoke: No
Do you Swear: Nope
Do you Sing: Yes
Do you Shower Daily: At least
Have you Been in Love: Yes
Do you want to go to College: Been there and actually have the t-shirt
Do you want to get Married: Um yes?
Do you belive in yourself: Yep
Do you get Motion Sickness: Sometimes
Do you think you are Attractive: Yes
Are you a Health Freak: To some extent
Do you get along with your Parents: Yes
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yes
Do you play an Instrument: Yes
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Yes
In the past month have you Smoked: No
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Nope
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Yep
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: for some reason
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: why would anyone eat the box when the cookies are so good?
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: No
In the past month have you been on Stage: Yes
In the past month have you been Dumped: No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: No
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No
Ever been Drunk: Yes
Ever been called a Tease: Yes and I have no idea why
Ever been Beaten up: No
Ever Shoplifted: Yes, but hey I was four
How do you want to Die: Quickly
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Now, why would I want to grow up?
What country would you most like to Visit: Argentina to back pack in the Patagonias
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Blue or Brown it's a toss up
Favourite Hair Color: Blond
Short or Long Hair: Long
Height: Shorter than me
Weight: So long as she looks hot who cares?
Best Clothing Style: Anything nongoth
Number of Drugs I have taken: I don't really care what she's done in the past so long as she's not doing them now.
Number of CDs I own: She should be a wise investor and avoid CDs altogether
Number of Piercings: Location is more important that number (to a point)
Number of Tattoos: I think size is more important than number
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Have no regrets
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

My Blog

How I spent Valentines Day 2007 (Now updated!!)

By now the Valentine's Day blogs are straining everyone's interest I'm sure, but hopefully I can stretch your attention span for this subject like the spent condom that it is.With all that went on in ...
Posted by Randy® on Thu, 15 Feb 2007 10:13:00 PST

It was only 2.2 miles...

Ahh yes, it is February.  Officially, it is.  Go and check if you'd like.  And so there I was putting running shoes to pavement, and sidewalk, and ugh, what was that?  It was dark,...
Posted by Randy® on Mon, 12 Feb 2007 09:39:00 PST

Office Space

Where do you work Randy?  What's it like?Well, rather than go into agonizing detail about how it's a cube farm and so on... I decided to just give you this, without apologizing for the quality:So...
Posted by Randy® on Fri, 09 Feb 2007 11:31:00 PST

Blog chain: Dirtybird to Nowhere (updated with link to the rest of the story)

For the back story, you'll have to do some reading.  But isn't that what we're all here for?  Right.  Here's your link to where my part in all this began.  Once there, you can work...
Posted by Randy® on Mon, 05 Feb 2007 03:10:00 PST

Randy On Writing

A need to write something of any consequence has been building up in my head, much like a full bladder with 100 miles to the next rest stop.  Instead of waiting though, I'm pulling off the highwa...
Posted by Randy® on Mon, 05 Feb 2007 11:52:00 PST

Yes, I am a praying man. (now updated with response)

Lord above, this prayer I pray:Please grant me the patience I need to deal with stupid people.  It'll be quite a lot so be generous, oh Lord.  Help me to have enough restraint to refrain fro...
Posted by Randy® on Tue, 30 Jan 2007 03:52:00 PST

Doing what to chickens? Colonel Sanders might not approve, but who cares. What IS that noise?

There I sat, TV spewing it's light into the bedroom and me not really paying any attention to it, when I heard an awful sound.  I checked, and contrary to my belief I hadn't been throat raping ch...
Posted by Randy® on Thu, 25 Jan 2007 01:36:00 PST

I always knew it!

For some reason, I've always loved this cartoon but I never quite knew what they were saying... and now, with subtitles... it's all becoming clear... check it out:Adblock ...
Posted by Randy® on Fri, 19 Jan 2007 12:31:00 PST

Please help me decipher! (The e-mail I get)

Ok, I have one weakness in this armor of darkness.  And that sad fact I am about to reveal to you.  Act now, and for the low, low price of free and some tied shoelaces you can keep reading.&...
Posted by Randy® on Sat, 13 Jan 2007 03:02:00 PST

Ever have one of those days?

First of all, let me preface this with the fact that I find it incredibly hard to apologize, yet sound sincere.  Why is that?  I think it's because everyone seems to think there's some motiv...
Posted by Randy® on Fri, 12 Jan 2007 02:32:00 PST