Melanie profile picture

Melanie

I love Joseph cos he's the only one who talks to me on Facebook . . .

About Me

One time, I saw Jesus at the grocery store.I edited my profile at Freeweblayouts.net , check out these Myspace Layouts!

My Interests

ATNW. Cold spaghetti. Gold spike heels, Beach towels. Sugar daddies. Olivia D'abo. Three toed sloths. Venti squid. Sleeping. Businesses where they force ALL of their employees to greet you. Nipple hair. Dropped D tuning. Nomenclature. People who blog incessantly. The song "Hip Hop Hooray." Blogs, but only those of the MySpace variety. Nile monitor lizards. Herpetology, unless that does not mean what I think it does. Banging on the glass to wake up sleepy zoo animals. Mallwalkers, and where they go after 10 am.

I'd like to meet:

Your mom. Your sister. Your sister AND your mom. If I recently deleted you, its because we don't talk anymore, or I don't live near you anymore, and my friendslist was getting huge . . . .

Music:

Angry Squirrels Outside Your Window, DeVotchKa, Burning Sky, Big Sky, E N E M Y , The Hazies, Fischerspooner, Arcade Fire, Beatles, VAST, Year of the Rabbit, Pink Floyd, Roger Waters, Beck, Jenny Lewis/Watson Twins, Poe, Fugees, Queens of the Stone Age, Every Time I Die, Cupcakes, Smashing Pumpkins, Muse, Radiohead, modwheelmood, nearLY, Impossible Recording Machine, Matisyahu, Billy Bragg, Wilco, Bjork, Garbage, Gnarls Barkley, Marianne Faithfull, Faith No More, Bob Dylan, Failure, Franz Ferdinand, Andrew Toups, PJ Harvey, Van Morrison/Them, Leonard Cohen, The Bronx, All, The Distillers, Interpol, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Local H, The Flaming Lips, Chemical Brothers, U2, REM, NIN, The Cure, Morrissey, MIA, Brand New, New radicals, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Amadou and Mariam, The Raconteurs, Dandy Warhols, Sinead O'Connor, Mission of Burma, Jay Z, Beautiful Assassins, Thrice , pretty much everything but your shitty band so don't add me.

Movies:

Mainly snuff films. Although I liked V for Vendetta, 40 Year Old Virgin, Big Lebowski, Clerks 1 and 2, se7ven, Inside Man, Click, Pulp Fiction, Dig, and The Bride wore Black.

Television:

Mine is in a different state . . .but on DVD: Desperate Housewives (Season 1 only), Arrested Development, L Word, Family Guy. I used to stay up til 2 or 3 am on Sunday nights watching Adult Swim. I miss those days. I love me some squidbillies.

Books:

Almost exclusively nonfiction and cereal boxes. Oh, and trashy celebrity/music magazines. But mainly cereal boxes. Off brand cereal boxes.

Heroes:

I used to have a long list of heroes here, then disillusionment set in. So let me link you to my favorite MySpacers: Adam and Milo

My Blog

Viva Las Vegas

I'm back, bitches! So, how's you? I genuinely care, I haven't talked to most of you in a loooooooooooooooooong time! Last week I worked a lot (plus I got really, really sick), then I went to Vegas. S...
Posted by Cultural Imperialist on Mon, 19 Feb 2007 08:18:00 PST

World's Oldest Woman

Hi, my name is Lucille Roberts. But you can call me Lemonade Lucy--its a nickname I picked up during Prohibition, when I was a young married woman. My husband had been injured in the Great War--I'm ...
Posted by Cultural Imperialist on Fri, 26 Jan 2007 07:54:00 PST

I blogged your mom

My mother's birthday is Wednesday. in honor of her, I give you: MY MOTHER'S GREATEST HITS 1. When I was about 10, my paternal grandmother was swinging from a grapevine in the mountains of Western Nor...
Posted by Cultural Imperialist on Sun, 21 Jan 2007 05:08:00 PST

Fordzilla!

My fellow Americans. Our long national nightmare is over. Fordzilla is dead. Never again will we wake to an America in which Fordzilla has tripped and fallen on something important, such as the [] []...
Posted by Cultural Imperialist on Mon, 01 Jan 2007 06:08:00 PST

I Have Grievances!

Okay, so today is Festivus. You know, the holiday for the rest of us. For those of you unfamiliar with the holiday, it was featured in a 1997 episode of seinfeld. The basic premise of the show was th...
Posted by Cultural Imperialist on Sat, 23 Dec 2006 04:11:00 PST

ASK THE TIME MAGAZINE PERSON OF THE YEAR

Alright, so Time magazine has chosen to name ME as their person of the year.* Obviously, I am honored. But I decided to make this blog about you, the reader. So I have chosen to answer YOUR questions...
Posted by Cultural Imperialist on Thu, 21 Dec 2006 12:43:00 PST

2, 4, 6, 8, who do we appreciate?

As a general rule, we wait until someone is dead to eulogize him. As I don't expect to gain anything from Li'l Billy's estate, however, I have merely waited until he is out of town. Li'l Billy--Jeffre...
Posted by Cultural Imperialist on Thu, 14 Dec 2006 02:00:00 PST

Blackie, we need to talk.

The last few days, I've been doing a lot of thinking. No, stop with the excuses. Its not you, its me. Its just . . ..our love was never meant to be. Think about it--we eat completely different foods, ...
Posted by Cultural Imperialist on Wed, 13 Dec 2006 07:52:00 PST

EVERYONE READ

Hi, Charles Manson here to pimp a dear friend: Big Pimpin' Alien Why? Because his avatar rocks and he wrote a poem about me: There once was a girl named Melanie.She got arrested for committing a felon...
Posted by Cultural Imperialist on Tue, 21 Nov 2006 12:24:00 PST

The Bug Man's Coming

Good morning! Okay, I realize that I haven't had an original thought in, oh, about 2 weeks. Wait, that's not true. i've had several thoughts which cracked me up and which could be spun into blogs. But...
Posted by Cultural Imperialist on Thu, 16 Nov 2006 05:20:00 PST