The Evil Dr. Chickenliverstone® profile picture

The Evil Dr. Chickenliverstone®

EARTH MONKIES BEWARE!!!

About Me


Hello there, my name is The Evil Dr Chickenliverstone. You can view details of our invasion of your planet at http://www.explodingchickens.com .
I'm the smartest rooster alive in the universe. I live on the Planet Frank, 606 million light years from your 3rd little ball of terra firma you so quaintly called Earth. So 'homey' sounding.
We are 400 trillion, highly evolved chickens. We are far more technologically advanced than you and we will be needing your planet.
Our planet has been polluted beyond repair from centuries of misuse. Our food is poison, our air is explosive and we are dying - spontaneously combusting from breathing our own 'fowl' environments.
I have resolved (I'm the head of the Center On Space Stuff as well) to thusly save those members of Chickenkind I deem worthy of saving.
I, along with my highly intelligent, well trained and heavily armed minions of Chickendom Doom will migrate to your planet with much fury and take over your entire solar system!
PS. We have weapons that will make your little monkey brains pee themselves in utter fear!
Yours Truly,
The Evil Dr Chickenliverstone
You Are 75% Borderline
Many signs point toward you having a borderline personality.
It's probably a good idea to seek therapy. Or at least read a self help book. Do You Have a Borderline Personality? ©2007 THORNE DIGITAL MEDIA GROUP, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. INVASION OF THE EXPLODIN' CHICKENS FROM THE PLANET FRANK AND ALL RELATED TITLES, CHARACTERS AND LOGOS ARE TRADEMARKS OF THORNE DIGITAL MEDIA GROUP, INC.

My Interests

Destroying earth monkies, working on my gravitron accelerator, picking out office furniture for Migration Station No7 (the first 6 didn't quite work out). I also love destroying stupid minions that don't listen and spending quality time with Bobo my teddy bear.

I'd like to meet:

Your President. He seems pretty dumb, which will make our Invasion of your Puny Planet that much easier! MUAHA HA HA HA.

Music:

Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Urge Overkill, Bow Wow Wow and who can forget Bowie's Major Tom.

Movies:

-The Chicklings of Monkeys
The youngest Earth Monkey has died!!! (good stuff)

-Monkey Apocolypse Now (redux)
"Charlie Don't surf!"
This is by far my favorite movie. I love to nuke up a nice wet sack of worms, throw my feet up on the table and watch this one in widescreen DVD. Gotta love those Chinese bootlegs - even here, 606 million miles away from Earth (the Chinese are in on our Invasion plan)

-Full Metal Chicken
The classic tale of a young Marine during the Vietnamese fried-pork wars with the dastardly Planet Oink. You cannot trust those darn pigs.

-Psycho Chicken
The fryer scene is a classic!

-The Blue Cheese Brothers
Great hovercraft chase scene when Elwood and Jake fly through the Mall with the police hovercars hot on their tail - smashing through the grain feeders

Television:

Only primitive Earth Monkies like yourselves use outdated Dual Sensory (A/V) entertainment! We Frankians use Full Sensory (A/V/T/F/S) Media at our Movie Theatres!!! You Earth Monkies are so backwards!
Here on the Planet Frank, we've been monitoring your Earth Satellite Transmissions. That is how we hacked into your 'Internet' thingy (we are so much more advanced than you!).
Unfortunately, your Earth Culture has become quite popular here on Frank ever since we DE-CLASSIFIED the knowledge of your existence to the general populace of The Planet Frank. (For the Record, I was against that)
As pathetically predictable and primitive as Earth TV is, its popularity is now spreading to the other planets of OUR Solar System! While some consider Earth TV a godsend to the masses, others (like me) consider it 'junk food for the mind' that rots the soul of the Frankian Chicken!
I abhor all Earth TV, with the few exceptions below.
-Murder She Wrote
Angela Lansbury has gams that go on forever
-Weakest Link
I CANNOT BELEIVE THEY CANCELLED THIS SHOW!
Bestest show of all time!
-Chickenfeld (or anything by Larry Davidchicken)
Gotta love that Kozmo Kramer.
-David Letterchicken
What ever happended to Larry Bud Chicken?!?
-Scrubs (Appletini anyone??)

Books:

-
Freakochikenomics
I still think your name makes or breaks you no matter what this unfocused economist says!

-One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
That nurse was seriously EVIL!

-To Kill a Mockingbird
Action packed!

-Lowell's guide to pigeon husbandry
I have a pigeon fetish

-How to serve Earth Monkey
It's a cookbook! HA HA HA

Heroes:

Bobo my teddy bear and Beth cause she promised not to use the washing machine on him anymore. Oh, and Batman.

My Blog

Hangin' with the Playboy Bunnies

So my next door neighbors had some friends over on Saturday after I got back from Boston. Now these are no ordinary neighbors. They are actresses that are currently filming new episodes of t...
Posted by The Evil Dr. Chickenliverstone® on Tue, 13 Feb 2007 08:30:00 PST

Love is for suckers...

Ah, if only I had heeded the fine wisdom of J. Giels and his Band of merry music makers back in college when I first began monitoring Earth transmissions in the dorms... "Love...
Posted by The Evil Dr. Chickenliverstone® on Sat, 03 Feb 2007 06:33:00 PST

Earth Monkies are hideously cruel creatures, I LOVE IT!

So I'm reading dailyrotten.com to get the latest in your Planet Earth news and I see a story about Zombie Chickens on Earth!?!? click here to read article about zombie Earth chickens or go here: ...
Posted by The Evil Dr. Chickenliverstone® on Mon, 27 Nov 2006 12:27:00 PST

RECURRING DREAMS...

I keep having this recurring dream where I go to my freshman year physics class in my pajamas. What does it mean?
Posted by The Evil Dr. Chickenliverstone® on Mon, 27 Nov 2006 05:52:00 PST

Addicted to Earth TV

I have to admit, I am loving the new Hammacher Schlemmer Massage Chair. Now that those stupid Minions of mine, Ralph and Harry have the wiring done according to precise diagrams, I've had some time to...
Posted by The Evil Dr. Chickenliverstone® on Sun, 05 Mar 2006 04:03:00 PST

Minions want higher wages!?!

Once again my evil minions are giving me migranes! They are all threatening to walk out and strike if I don't increase their worm rations. This is absolutely ridiculous, and I will not budge. Looks li...
Posted by The Evil Dr. Chickenliverstone® on Fri, 17 Feb 2006 01:18:00 PST

Bobo's static electricital state sucessfully dampened!

At last! I can FINALLY stop listening to assorted John Denver hits from your putrid little orb via the AM radio transmissions invading my suit's communication system because my teddy bear wa...
Posted by The Evil Dr. Chickenliverstone® on Fri, 17 Feb 2006 08:18:00 PST

Ms Chickenson washed my teddy bear this morning and now he's all frizzy!

Ms Chickenson, my assistant, once again threw my beloved teddy bear in the washer and dryer and now he's all frizzy! The static electricity is wreaking havoc with my wireless communicator (built into ...
Posted by The Evil Dr. Chickenliverstone® on Thu, 16 Feb 2006 02:03:00 PST

Today I had to vaporize more minions

I was trying on my new Gucci knock-off enviro suit I got on eBay when the moronic minions moving in my new office furniture dropped the glass top and chipped the corner of my brand new desk.I was...
Posted by The Evil Dr. Chickenliverstone® on Thu, 16 Feb 2006 10:24:00 PST