The Matadors

THE MATADORS ARE:
Hooch (vox/guitars)
somebody on bass
Westman(drums)
Creators of the HORRORBILLY genre, masters of balls out rock, foremost motherfuckers in their own right THE MATADORS have been destroying stages and the minds of the youth since the mid 90s with their brand of lucifer driven,booze fuled hate rock.
No band has ever come close to THE MATADORS is terms of live show and performance and no band has ever assembled demon posessed musicians with such raw and unfathomable talent before. Seeing THE MATADORS live is like being in a funhouse that has been set on fire,like being trapped in a womens prison on a full moon, and be prepared and bring a change of pants because you will shit the pants you bring to the show.
THE MATADORS are the type of band that blows through your town and then the next day 100 bands pop that want to be just like them... THE MATADORS are the most influential band of their generation like tthe Ramones in their era and the Velvet Underground in theirs generations of kids will moved by the awesome force that is MATADORS for as long as there is recorded music and ears to fucking hear it....
THE MATADORS created the genre HORRORBILLY only to remain the top in that field and alll others. There are a few bands that claim to BE horrorbilly but upon closer inspection you will find that not only are those bands total poser hairdressers but that these other bands are actually just tribute bands made up of Matadors worshipers, that they are nothing more then a waste of the fans time doing little more then cashing in on what THE MATADORS invented!!
Nonetheless, be not fooled be these bands....as THE MATADORS are the genuine article.
Since selling their souls to Lucifer in 1995 in exchange for super human prowess on their instruments on supreme omnipotence over their audience they have been unstoppable no matter how badly they have been stabbed in the back by their "friends" in bands or supremely fucked over by their former record company.
" ...One night in 1999 Parkins was approached by what he describes as "a ghoulish figure in a black hood....or something"
This sounded like a fair deal to Parkins so he pitched it to the other Matadors. They agreed that the deal was in their favour and set about to cement the deal. Instantly the audiences were in a frenzy, drinking inhuman amounts with complete disregard for tomorrow. Once the band began with the new Lucifarian music, onlookers could not help but spend their entire paychecks in a single evening of lewd wanton depravity.
As time went on, The Matadors became more and more powerful as they added more Lucifarian music to their repertoire eventually the performances became so intense that some members of the band became afraid of the power and evil that followed them to every show.
These cowardly members were allowed out of their contract with the brotherhood and went on to die listless and alone OR WORSE to join REALLY shitty prog-folk bands that run around calling themselves rockabilly in hopes however feeble and futile to include themselves in THE MATADORS continued greatness
Each of these "members" to THIS day put on their advertisements for their own bands these boastful words: "FEATURING MEMBERS OF THE MATADORS"
Why? I'l tell you why... The Subtext is saying this " I was once part of something awesome and powerful but i lacked the testicles to carry on with it but, in order to establish creditability in this genre....even though I'm a poser and have no claim it it and when i WAS involved in THE MATADORS i never even wrote one note of any song...i want you to know that i was part of that awesome thing...and sadly I want to claim a piece of it as my own...The fact is, by saying these things, I KNOW that i will never measure up in my future endeavors so Im left to to cling to The Matadors with white knuckles...please pity me "
Yes folks it IS pathetic, it smacks of that same kind of contemptible sadness of an old man who was once a great quarterback in High school cramming himself into his old jersey and posing in front of the mirror...
But, please...they do not deserve your hatred, nor do they desire your disgust, even though they have clearly incited these feelings inside you. Do not fault them for their lack of a dental intervention or their choice to expose their strange nipples in public, do not fault them for their use of jeri-curl...
They deserve your charity, your sympathy and your pity...So dig deep within yourself and see if you can't find these things in your heart...
What these extremely desperate ex-"members" fail to realize is that by using The Matadors in this way they are only placing themselves in the shadow of THE MATADORS... and that shadow is dark and limitless abyss indeed...and they will remain there until they stop doing this and generate some original ideas on their own...
The reality is: THE MATADORS continue to make amazing records and tour and put on amazing shows...
THE MATADORS continue on 5 albums later and one on the way this year..
watch out for it

In early 1995 Joel "Hooch" Parkins started a rockabilly band on his own...and hired some flunky,tag-a-long,coat-tail rider,dupe, or rube to play bass...his name has since been forgotten
They played the "Z" circuit clubs of rural Ontario for about a year with much success. Riling up the plowmen and women of tobacco country is no small feat but they seemed to hold a power over them, forcing them to drink more and more booze until the farmers were unable to tend to their fields. Many crops were lost due to the Matadors in those years. Eventually the band would be boycotted on the rural circuit. The field workers feared, and rightly so, that if the MATADORS were allowed to play in their presence again, all would be lost.
So the boys headed into London, Ontario to ply their trade in the urban pubs. The crowds were untamable and reckless in the city. The Matadors set bar revenue records every night of the week.
Dozens of Matador-esque bands would pop up and then suddenly dissolve in frustration every day. Yet somehow, it wasn't enough for the boys-- they yearned for something a little more.
One night in 1999 Parkins was approached by what he describes as "a ghoulish figure in a black hood....or something"
The mysterious stranger told Parkins that he was a representative of a group called The Lucifarian Brotherhood of Baphomet, and that The Matadors had caught the attention of the brotherhood. This "ghoul" came to propose a deal to the band. If the Matadors would write and perform Lucifarian gospel music, mixing it in with their traditional rockabilly set, they would, in exchange, receive super-human ability on their respective instruments as well as complete omnipotence over their audiences.
This sounded like a fair deal to Parkins so he pitched it to the other Matadors. They agreed that the deal was in their favour and set about to cement the deal. Instantly the audiences were in a frenzy, drinking inhuman amounts with complete disregard for tomorrow. Once the band began with the new Lucifarian music, onlookers could not help but spend their entire paychecks in a single evening of lewd wanton depravity.
As time went on, The Matadors became more and more powerful as they added more Lucifarian music to their repertoire Eventually the performances became so intense that some members of the band became afraid of the power and evil that followed them to every show. These cowardly members were allowed out of their contract with the brotherhood and went on to record their own solo record.
It was at this time that Jay Westman joined the band. Westman was fresh from selling his soul Lucifer in return for two things: incredible foosball prowess and masterful drumming abiltiy. This "crossroads" deal made Jay the perfect edition, making The Matadors the tinity of evil it is today.
Hooch, who by this point possessed the power to play his guitar from across the room, using only the power of his mind, took over on vocals. He also no gained the power to shoot fire from his guitar!!
The Matadors now travel all over the world spreading the "infernal word" to the masses and harvesting souls for Lucifer. They will be in your town next. When you come to see The Matadors ( and you will), come prepared to drink more alcohol than you've ever drank in your life. Also, bring a change of pants because in the excitment of the show, you WILL shit the pants that you wore to the show