Chris Walter profile picture

Chris Walter

It's a serious game, when ya gotta start at the bottom again

About Me

This is my second page, as my first was tragically lost at sea with all hands aboard. Now, where was I before this horrible disaster? Oh yeah, I'm a grouchy old wanker who spends all his time publishing and writing nasty books that no one reads. My dream is to someday appear on the Oprah Winfrey Show, just so I can puke all over the place and make a total ass of myself. When I die, I would like to be cryogenically frozen so I can come back and fuck up this planet all over again. It is my goal to have the smallest number of friends on Myspace, blah, blah, blah...

My Interests

Junkyards, pollution, crack whores, scars, broken glass, abandoned buildings, zombies, bad people, obnoxious music, drunks, fire, dead cops, things that go fast and blow up, auto graveyards, skid row, barbed wire, maggots, zombies, razor blades, bridges, Alcatraz, blood, knives, politicians with bullet holes in them, junkies, zombies, porno, meat, napalm, scum, brass knuckles, screams in the night, shopping carts, cemeteries, lipstick, trash, puke, nuclear winter, smog, the apocalypse, psychotic madmen (and women), insane asylums, poverty, zombies, sunstroke, rabies, rough sex, chainsaws, the plague, explosions, dirt, grime, chaos, riots, anarchy, gallows, noise, the homeless, flamethrowers, bombs, zombies, madness, and cute little puppy dogs done up with ribbons.

I'd like to meet:

Geeks and freaks.

CHECK OUT MORE FROM CHRIS WALTER
AT www.punkbooks.com

Let the bastards know where you're at with the latest shirt from Gofuckyerself Press.

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ORDER NOW ON-LINE WITH PAYPAL

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ORDER NOW ON-LINE WITH PAYPAL

(Canadian orders include shipping and handling)

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* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

ORDER NOW ON-LINE WITH PAYPAL

(Canadian orders include shipping and handling)

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Please inquire about International Rates

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

ORDER NOW ON-LINE WITH PAYPAL

(Canadian orders include shipping and handling)

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Please inquire about International Rates

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

ORDER NOW ON-LINE WITH PAYPAL

(Canadian orders include shipping and handling)

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Please inquire about International Rates

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

ORDER NOW ON-LINE WITH PAYPAL

(Canadian orders include shipping and handling)

($3.00 for shipping and handling will be added to US orders)

Please inquire about International Rates

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

ORDER NOW ON-LINE WITH PAYPAL

(Canadian orders include shipping and handling)

($3.00 for shipping and handling will be added to US orders)

Please inquire about International Rates

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

ORDER NOW ON-LINE WITH PAYPAL

(Canadian orders include shipping and handling)

($3.00 for shipping and handling will be added to US orders)

Please inquire about International Rates

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

ORDER NOW ON-LINE WITH PAYPAL

(Canadian orders include shipping and handling)

($3.00 for shipping and handling will be added to US orders)

Please inquire about International Rates

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

ORDER NOW ON-LINE WITH PAYPAL

(Canadian orders include shipping and handling)

($3.00 for shipping and handling will be added to US orders)

Please inquire about International Rates

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

ORDER NOW ON-LINE WITH PAYPAL

(Canadian orders include shipping and handling)

($3.00 for shipping and handling will be added to US orders)

Please inquire about International Rates

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

ORDER NOW ON-LINE WITH PAYPAL

(Canadian orders include shipping and handling)

($3.00 for shipping and handling will be added to US orders)

Please inquire about International Rates

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

CHECK OUT MORE FROM CHRIS WALTER
AT www.punkbooks.com

Music:

Humpers, TSOL, Adolescents, Personality Crisis, Million Dollar Marxists, The Rebel Spell, Social Distortion, Workin' Stiffs, Damned, Johnny Cash, Against All Authority, Beltones, Art Bergmann, RAMONES, New Bomb Turks, Smogtown, Supersuckers, Pogues, Kill Cheerleader, Tranzmitors, Steve Earle, Matadors, Go Betty Go, Black Halos, Freeze, DOA, Subhumans, Teenage Head, Saints, Lunachicks, Robert Johnson, Riverboat Gamblers, Hellacopters, Spitfires, the Pogs, Hangmen, Farrell Brothers, Germs, Darkbuster, Alice Cooper, IGGY POP, Hank Williams, Forgotten, UK Subs, GG Allin, Neo Nasties, Pack, Emergency, MIA, Swingin' Utters, US Bombs, Vapids, Dictators, Business, Gutter Demons, Sip Yek Nom, Excessives, Alcoholic White Trash, Lummox, Johhny Cash, Cock Sparrer, Briefs, Dickies, Dayglo Abortions, Black Flag, Circle Jerks, Victorian Pork, Unwanted, Weirdos, Stretch Marks, Clash, Fabulous Kildonans, Nostrils, Motorhead, Vibrators, GBH, TSOL, SNFU, NY Rel-X, Real McKenzies, Joan Jett, Rancid, Bella Bombs, Bad Brains, Mr. Plow, Von Zippers, Flash Bastard, Screeching Weasel, New York Dolls, Nasty On, Ruffnecks, Insipids, Queers, Really Red, Stompin' Tom, Dickies, Stiff Little Fingers, Honest John, Buzzcocks, Jolts, Disappointers, Wife, Turbonegro, 999, Sound City Hooligans, Wednesday Night Heroes, Chick Magnets, Knucklehead, Minor Threat, Lillingtons, 3Tards, Lorrainas, Schleprock, Forgotten Rebels, Saints, Jolts. Fear, Death Sentence, Plasmatics, the Draft, Replacements, Johnny Thunders, and much, much more...

Movies:

Anything with zombies in it.

Television:

Action, Duckman, Stressed Eric, Simpsons, The Tick, Father Ted, The Wire, not much else. Notice how most of my favourite shows have been cancelled...

Books:

Too many to list, but my favourite authors are Irvine Welsh, Charles Bukowski, and John Steinbeck. Vancouver's own John Armstrong is also very good. If you haven't read his stuff, you're missing out.

Heroes:

Ain't no such thing, just dead fools...

My Blog

Personality Crisis: Warm Beer & Wild Times

Mitch Funk bounced rubber-legged across the stage at the On Broadway Theatre in San Francisco. The flexible singer dropped to his knees and crooned into the microphone, his deep baritone booming from ...
Posted by Chris Walter on Mon, 19 May 2008 10:20:00 PST

Kaboom

A forlorn sunbeam found its way through the thick flannel blanket covering the window. The tiny ray of sun played on a table grimy with neglect and climbed over an empty bottle of scotch before settli...
Posted by Chris Walter on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 10:43:00 PST

Rock & Roll Heart

  I spin the wheel and pretend I’m working, but too late. Happy takes a deep breath and launches into his Together We Can Save the Planet Speech No. 4. "Do you realize that there were sixt...
Posted by Chris Walter on Sat, 19 Jan 2008 04:54:00 PST

I Was a Punk Before You Were a Punk

Two days later, we took a bus back to LA. We left the bus station and, after declining several offers to buy cocaine and heroin, walked the streets looking for a hotel. The air tasted hot and gritty, ...
Posted by Chris Walter on Fri, 13 Jul 2007 09:05:00 PST

The Crooked Beat by Drew Gates

"It's not too late to change your mind and come down to Goa. The high season is starting soon." Jesse looked at me then glanced around. "I dunno&" I knew it wouldn't take too much convinc...
Posted by Chris Walter on Wed, 14 Nov 2007 03:31:00 PST

East Van

Dill leaned back in a dodgy aluminum chair and wondered if his comrades were a help or a hindrance. There was Crazy Mary, muttering dire, cryptic messages to herself as she picked bugs from under her ...
Posted by Chris Walter on Mon, 30 Jul 2007 07:33:00 PST

Mosquitoes & Whisky

Wes and I went down to the pumphouse. I brought out the acid and unwrapped the tin foil packet. In the center of the foil were two, yellow semi-transparent squares. Wes waited until he saw me take min...
Posted by Chris Walter on Thu, 12 Jul 2007 09:58:00 PST

Welfare Wednesdays

Lying in bed hating himself, Jack could not think of a single reason to get up. Welfare was still several days away and it was impossible to get a Crisis Grant from the bastards nowadays. It was alway...
Posted by Chris Walter on Sun, 25 Mar 2007 07:09:00 PST

Shouts From the Gutter

Pork 'n' BeansANDY CLEMENTS got up and limped to the fridge for another beer. His right knee, which had been fine earlier, now throbbed like the dickens. The worst thing about getting old, he figure...
Posted by Chris Walter on Fri, 09 Mar 2007 01:17:00 PST