realeyesrealizereallies

Layout by CoolChaser I think that I am getting too old for myspace. I think that all of you guys are too.Nothing bothers me more than people who root for the underdogi just because they are underdogs. This is America, people. Where's our competitive edge? Why constantly cheer for someone who is inferior to succeed? It's not just sports, either. This whole new soccer-mom society that we've grown accustomed to is just plain weak. My local Fox news station had a segment on last night about several towns who are eliminating Little League All-Star games because "the kids who don't make the team will become upset." What the fuck?!? Maybe it will encourage them to put down the Guitar Hero and take some more batting practice...ever think about that? Perhaps it will cause the kid to realize baseball isn't his thing, and maybe focus his time on curing Cancer. Hell, maybe he'll continue to play anyway, just because he enjoys being a part of a team. Who knows what will happen? All I know is that none of us live in Disney World...and if you shelter kids that much, they're going to be quite shocked when they enter the real world. So what if Little Billy throws like a girl...he's getting excercise and making friends while doing so. Life is not lived in a bubble, but the scars and scrapes you endure while outside of the bubble are the things that build characterWhat would happen if you started making the same salary as the janitor in your office? Would you be happy because you don't want to offend the janitor by thinking your job is more valuable than his? Or, would you spend the day on Monster finding yourself a new job?There are more people in this country who are currently on Zoloft than there are people on a treadmill. That doesn't work for me. You don't see people in Calcutta who are on anti-depressants, and those people probably could use a happy pill once in a while. They grew up knowing life could be tough at times and they've dealt with it forever. Yet, Suzie Suburb can't get out of bed in the morning because her husband has a hot secretary. Instead of trusting him and having confidence in herself, she gets jealous over something she made up in her own mind and now suffers from depression. This whole "woe is me" mentality sucks and I think it's time people knock it off...I think that if a girl ever called me dreamy, I'd laugh at her everyday for the rest of my life. I think that having a plasma and playstation 3 will lead to me getting diabetes.I think they now pronounce it "dia-be-tous." I think that the Quaker Oats guy who says "diabetous" should sue. I think we should sue him for selling us oatmeal when it may have led to his diabetes, rather "diabetous." I think that I've become a complete asshole overnight and that nobody has noticed. I think that dress does make you look fat. I think that terrorists are dumb if they don't realize they can wipe out our country with a jar of peanut butter. I think that trying to suck White Castle burgers through a straw, just to see if you can do it, is a bad idea. I think that Prison Break is still a great show. I think that everybody is THAT guy sometimes. I think that a lot of women pee a little when they laugh too hard. I think that is very disturbing. I think that "E" should be more aggressive, and maybe come before "I" more often. I think that I can eat a BLT every day and not get sick of it. I think that cranberry bogging looks pretty cool. I think that I am ridiculously good looking. I think that sci-fi movies are super gay. I think that McDonalds has the ability to serve egg McMuffins past 10:00, they just choose not to. I think that bald guys with a sunburnt scalp are hilarious. I think that camping is for people who enjoy the idea of not showering, but are not socially bold enough to do it in the real world. I also think that camping sucks. I think that Michael Jackson loves twenty seven year olds. I think he loves them because there are twenty of them. I think that I am the nicest person you'll ever meet. I think that I'm the biggest jerk you'll ever meet. I think laughter is the best medicine for any illnes...except cancer - you should really get some meds for that. I think that green olives are superb. I think that the best time to grocery shop is the day after your parents do their own shopping...as long as you wait until they are at work. I think that I am a great dancer when I'm drunk. I think that one day I'll actually live up to my potential. I think that it's best to put it all on the line than to hold back. I think that I am 6'0", 230 lbs. of pure awesome. I think that the Great White Shark is the greatest natural predator. I think that hurricanes are the most devastating natural disasters because even though you know they're coming, you still can't do anything to prevent them. I think that sun showers are awesome. I think that the smell of a barbecue is the official scent of summer. I think that light beer tastes like dirty water. I think that dirty fingernails are disgusting. I think that the Tigers will win the World Series next year. I think that empty beds can easily lead to bad behavior. I think that history will repeat itself if we don't do a better job of stopping it. I think that I will always be stuck behind the scratch ticket guy at the gas station when I'm late for work. I think that I am late for everything. I think that D-Wade is the best player in the NBA. I think I am the only person that still watches basketball. I think that Last Comic Standing is a great show, but Cheaters is funnier. I think that a sun dress will make most girls look better. I think that San Diego needs to stay classy. I think that you need to go fuck yourself if you don't chew Big Red. I think Applebee's sucks. I think Chili's and The Cheesecake Factory are the best franchise restaurants ever. I think that the Wendy's dollar menu is necessary after a night of drinking. I think I'm never going to drink again. I think I say that every weekend. I still don't understand the purpose of the Slinky. I think that most bad scars derived from the Slip 'n Slide. I think my blogs explain a lot about me. I think that thunderstorms are cool. I think we all live in a Yellow Submarine. I don't think the Pottery Barn sells actual pottery. I also don't think it was ever a real barn. I think a mustache should only be worn by state troopers and porn stars. I think that Curt Schilling is a pompous bastard. I think that the stories that start with, "So we were having a few glasses of whiskey when..." will NEVER end well. I think that ExxonMobil needs to explain why they're having record breaking quarters, and I'm taking out a loan just to fill my tank. I think that certain people really do just smell bad for no reason. I think that I've purposely sabotaged some of the good things in my life. I think I knew I was doing it all along. I think that, in order to succeed, you must first fail a few times. I think I know what I want in my life; it's just a matter of obtaining those things. I think the Post Office is slowly ripping all of us off. I think that a girl that makes me laugh is sexier than one that can make me lose my train of thought. I think that I am best motivated by someone competing for the same thing as myself. I think that Cheez-its are great for all occasions. I think that no vending machine should be without Snickers. I think that for each action there is always going to be a reaction. I think that there is nothing scarier than an angry teenager; I think I can take 'em. I think plenty of great things have been invented since sliced bread. I think I have a man-crush on Matt Damon...but it's completely heterosexual, I think I'm way cooler than I actually am, I just refuse to admit it. I think that the mistakes I've made will come back to haunt me, I think I can handle that. I think that the World needs to change. I think I can make it change, but I have some video games to catch up on first. I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of? I think everyone knows I threw that in as a joke. I think. I think boxed wine is perfectly fine to serve to guests, as long as you don't tell them it's from a box. I think that people who've appeared on COPS should say so on any job application. I think cheating on someone is wrong. I think I should be King of something, like a small island or maybe an entire continent. I think Al Gore invented the internet, but then 3M made it better. I think Larry King is insane. I think that if you are ugly, and I call you ugly...you shouldn't be offended. I believe that children are the future...and child obesity should be treated as harshly as child abuse. I think that there are more 40 year-old virgins than we are led to believe. I think that reincarnation is a good way of making the same mistakes twice. I think David Blaine is a genius for getting us to watch him do absolutely nothing...I think I would be terrified to have his job. I think Norman Bates would have been OK with a father-figure in his life. I think small-talk is a waste of everyone's time. I am here for the blogs, and the free wine...what the hell do you mean there's no wine?