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Mel & Blossom

Live in Love or You’re not Livin’

About Me

Welcome to Mel & Blossom's Comedy page!


OUR NEXT SHOW
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This is Blossom's favorite song right now:
Myspace Layouts - Myspace Editor - Image Hosting

My Interests

Undercover Archeologist

I'd like to meet:

You
Blossom wants to meet anyone that helps avoid this:
HOW COULD YOU? By Jim Willis, 2001

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend.

Whenever I was ‘bad’, you’d shake your finger at me and ask “How could you? ” – but then you’d relent and roll me over for a belly rub. My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be anymore perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream ( I only got the cone because “ice cream is bad for dogs”, you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love. She, now your wife is not a ‘dog person’ – still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate.

Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a ‘prisoner of love’. As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch – because your touch was now so infrequent – and I would defend them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.

There had been a time, when others asked if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered “yes” and changed the subject. I had gone from being ‘your dog’ to ‘just a dog’, and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.

Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You’ve made the right decision for your ‘family’, but there was a time when I was your only family. I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter.
It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said “I know you will find a good home for her.” They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with ‘papers’. You had to pry your son’s fingers loose from my collar as he screamed “No Daddy! Please don’t let them take my dog!” And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life.

You gave me a goodbye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and lead with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one too. After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked, “How could you?”

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you, that you had changed your mind – that this was all a bad dream…. Or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me.
When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.

I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully, quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days.
As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured “How could you?”

Perhaps because she understood my dog speak she said “I’m so sorry”. She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I couldn’t be ignored or abused or abandoned, or to have to fend for myself – a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place.
And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my “How could you?” was not directed at her. It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your Life continue to show you so much loyalty.

A note from the Author:
If “How Could You?” brought tears to your eyes as you read it, as it did to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the composite story of the millions of formerly ‘owned’ pets who die each year in American and Canadian animal shelters. Anyone is welcome to distribute this essay for a non commercial purpose, as long as it is properly attributed with the copyright notice.

Please use it to help educate, on your websites, in newsletters, or animal shelter and vet office bulletin boards. Tell the public that the decision to add a pet to the family is an important one for life, that animals deserve our love and sensible care, that finding another appropriate home for your animal is your responsibility and local humane society or animal welfare league can offer you good advice, and that all life is precious.
Please pass this on to everyone, not to hurt them or even make them sad, but it could save maybe, even one unwanted pet.
Remember….. They love UNCONDITIONALLY, if you give them LOVE.
BLOSSOM APPROVES THIS MESSAGE

Music:

Bad Religion & some other bands

Heroes:

1 & FOREVER-- MY DAD! Everything good I am I owe to him-- If I've made you smile you can thank him!

Bad Religion Bad Religion : Sorrow : International

Mother Teresa cause she was a genuinely good person & example of real love. I got even more stoked on her when her letters about her doubts about her religion were released. I always knew she was the real deal!
The Dali Lama- If I have to explain why- I just feel sorry for you.

My Blog

Holy Coolness! Blossom & I got to open up for Mimi Gonzalez!!!

Some of you know the story of Blossom, Ryan & I heading up to Minnesota last December to compete in the Carnival Cruise Comedy Challenge-- for those of you that don't:We were just days out of Come...
Posted by Mel & Blossom on Sun, 26 Oct 2008 01:21:00 PST

The Truth About Blossom

(*If you don't read all of this at least scroll to the end & read the part after the * @ the end) Does anybody remember Bi-Polar Bear from the Tick? "This looks like a job for Bi-Polar Bear! But ...
Posted by Mel & Blossom on Sat, 25 Oct 2008 01:41:00 PST

Knuckle Tattoo

This is just a drawing reference for me. I'm working on a flyer & they gave me this code but I couldn't see it w/o publishing it somewhere so here is my absolutely meaningless to you blog! Enjoy!....
Posted by Mel & Blossom on Wed, 01 Oct 2008 03:44:00 PST

Another open mic bites the dust!

I'm replacing the blog that announced the open mic @ Rounding 3rd with this one: Just got word it's been canceled. I'll let you guys know if that changes. The details aren't important- it was just mor...
Posted by Mel & Blossom on Wed, 01 Oct 2008 01:19:00 PST

High off the Y

Damn! We had fun tonight! Darryl Hill was kind enough to invite Blossom & I to perform in his monthly showcase @ YNot 3 & we had a blast! We performed with our new friend Dual D, Christy Watso...
Posted by Mel & Blossom on Sun, 17 Aug 2008 03:15:00 PST

The Lost Boys 2 is a big loser!

I LOVED the Lost Boys, the Corey's & all their movies growing up- I ripped out the pics of Corey Haim & Feldman from my Bop & Teen Beat mags & they had special places on my bedroom wal...
Posted by Mel & Blossom on Mon, 11 Aug 2008 09:17:00 PST

What we really think

The song thats usually playing in Blossom's head: Can You Picture That? Lyrics..The song that plays in my head most: I Hate...People Lyrics..Hmm...good thing she's the PR portion of ...
Posted by Mel & Blossom on Sun, 27 Jul 2008 03:34:00 PST

Happy Bad Religion Day!

(Blossom right after she scored Bad Religion's New maps of Hell Deluxe)Ok, ok... good news is still better late than never! July 8th was another official "Bad Religion Day"- (that's a national holiday...
Posted by Mel & Blossom on Sat, 19 Jul 2008 05:33:00 PST

Happy Go Skateboarding day!! I did it!!

So today was "Go Skateboarding Day" & some of you know I used to run a nonprofit that took kids from my neighborhood skateboarding so today was kinda bitter sweet. I miss Hot Boards- I miss watchi...
Posted by Mel & Blossom on Sun, 22 Jun 2008 03:10:00 PST

warm fuzzy 4 comics & other breathing people

Shit talking is real crappy.Read this:http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view& amp;friendID=25515051&blogID=404738872
Posted by Mel & Blossom on Wed, 11 Jun 2008 03:33:00 PST