Ed Murray profile picture

Ed Murray

Absorb, Process, Id, Repeat. Absorb, Process, Id, Repeat. Absorb, Process, Id ...

About Me

I am a stand-up comic and writer. Joy.
You can read my stuff here:
Third Evolution Subscribe by clicking on a blog entry at the top of this page, then click 'subscribe', then give me large amounts of inflated self-esteem ... that's how it works. Here are some stand-up clips:
Lack of Etiquette III
3/3/07 @ Ensemble Studio Theatre
Where Raging Consciousness Meets Dick Jokes
NYCC 4/06
Pounding Through Joke After Joke After Fucking Joke ...
I hope to die while being indulged in my loves of nicotine, Cap'n Crunch, and blowjobs ... hopefully all three simultaneously.It's a shame that the Philosopher Kings and Queens of the world are too intelligent to go into politics. The institution of politics is nothing more than a well-crafted distraction to take the group-at-large's mind off the fact that it is being fucked on a regular basis. Historically oppressed groups need to band together to take down the top 2% instead of trying to break into the hermetically sealed door of that top percentile and fighting like starving dogs with other marginalized groups that are getting just as socially ass-ravenged by the murderers and liars that stand as heads of state. Run-on sentences should be glorified for their complexity and demands on an individual's attention, not discouraged as a mark of a person's inability to simplify an idea so that the short yellow thought bus that most people take to Consciousness everyday can catch up so we may all congratulate each other on a well-earned mediocre, banal, and complacent existence.Think Up.

Enjoy your Life ...

... someone should. Roll credits:I perform at various clubs in NYC, and I won the 2006 Laugh-Off at Sal's Comedy Hole. Hooray.I've been published online at McSweeneys, Whitehouse.org, Yankee Pot Roast, Entropy Magazine, Electric Yeti, PulpLit, and in print for "Jest," "The Best of PulpLit 2002-2004," "Graphite," and "Oddfellow" magazines.
I was a staff writer for the Nintendo DS game, "Sprung!" which was called " . . . probably the funniest video game ever" by Planet GameCube, and head writer for the mobile phone comedic dating sim "Love Triangle: Dating Challenge."
I don't recommend buying either of them ...

My Interests

Reading. Writing. Developing new forms of commerce. Sex. Drugs. Sex on drugs. Although that doesn't happen very often (I never stick my dick into anything that I don't want to have breakfast with the next morning.)Bunnies, Puppies, Kitties, and Children.Amateur Porn.Honesty is the ultimate interest, and I'm not talking about an "Oh, honey, I just want you to be honest with me when we talk ..." If you're in a relationship with some douchebag who can't even be honest in a conversation, you're fucked. I mean Honesty, with a big 'H.' When it comes to what a person's doing, thinking, feeling, fucking, fighting, shitting, and laughing about ... being Honest about these things ... that's the Winner.Jazz.I've never had sex so good that it made it alright that the other person was an idiot.The word 'fuck.'

I'd like to meet:

People who refuse to make the best of a bad situation and intead quit and make their own better situation.People who lie to children.People who can properly use the word 'ensconced.'People who get it.People who dig using language as a communicative art form, and don't mind re-reading a sentence if it means they can draw the the honey-drenched fuck out of it.People who are awful with money.People who refuse to use proper etiquette.People who listen to others when they should.People who tell others to eat a dick when they should.People who laugh at what they fear most.People who aren't afraid to admit that they are deeply disappointed with their life.Rabbits with the sentient awareness of canines.Prophets.

Music:

Yes.

Movies:

Yes.

Television:

Unless you're using it as ammunition, turn the fucking television off. We're losing the ability to form an opinion on our own because we're growing accustomed to having corporate-crafted mindsets spoon fed to us.Drink Coke.

Books:

Lolita. Crime and Punishment. Brave New World/Revisited. Wonder Boys. Jim the Boy. The Corrections. Strange Ritual. White Noise. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (fuck off, there's no such thing as 'too clever' ... look beyond a review every now and then.) The Hero with a Thousand Faces. Trust Us We're Experts. The Power of Myth. The Very Hungry Caterpillar. How to Talk Dirty and Influence People. A People's History of the United States. A Course in Miracles. Man and His Symbols. LOTR. Skinny Legs and All. I Killed. Love in the Time of Cholera. Mr. Happy. A Wrinkle in Time. Agent of Evolution. Love All the People (LISTEN TO BILL HICKS.)Amusing Ourselves to Death by Neil Postman explains America in a few hundred pages; read it and survive the upcoming Cognitive Plague.

Heroes:

Let's call them "Appreciated Influences." Bill Hicks. Nabokov. Coltrane. Sarah Kane. Joseph Campbell. Miles Davis. Dr. Seuss. DMB. Richard Pryor. Myles Horton. Rashaan Roland Kirk. Ralph Nader. R. Crumb. Nellie McKay. Lenny Bruce. Vonnegut. Immortal Technique. The State. David Lynch. Tom Waits. Eddie Murphy (1981-1989 RIP), Tom Robbins. Bill Murray. David Byrne. My Shrink. Emily.Anyone who isn't afraid to seek Truth.Anyone who isn't afraid to face Truth.Anyone who isn't afraid to speak Truth.Anyone who isn't afraid to drag bullshitters face-first through their own bullshit.LIVING COMICS I DIG: Doug Stanhope, Chris Rock, Rick Overton, George Carlin, Eddie Izzard, Jerry Seinfeld, Ellen DeGeneres, Lewis Black, Paul Mooney, Bonnie McFarlane, Jessica Kirson, Rick Shapiro, Dave Chappelle, Robert Schimmel, Suzanne Westenhoefer, Jim Gaffigan, Joe DeVito, Jim Norton, Tom McCaffrey.
A DEAD COMIC I DIG WHO I WISH WERE A LIVING COMIC I DIG: Mitch Hedberg.

My Blog

You Guys Stick to Killing People ... Leave the Jokes to Me

I'm sure that one of these days, I will post a self-explanatory title. Until then, check out Third Evolution if your eyes are bleeding from boredom. Or if you know that it's the absolute best use of...
Posted by Ed Murray on Thu, 10 May 2007 10:27:00 PST

A Day in the Life of my Nightmare Self

I found my doppleganger's day planner.It's pretty fucking brutal.
Posted by Ed Murray on Thu, 03 May 2007 12:26:00 PST

Doug Stanhope NYC @ The Comedy Village

I was asked to spread the word ... and I do so thuslyuslylyy.
Posted by Ed Murray on Tue, 01 May 2007 03:23:00 PST

Exisential Pleas & Resignations Mad Libs ... Plus a Shot of My Ass

Pretty self-explanatory, right?
Posted by Ed Murray on Tue, 01 May 2007 11:51:00 PST

Featured in New Random House Book, "The 4-Hour Workweek"

All the info is here on my blog ... looks like this thing could be pretty sweet, though. Pick up a copy if you are of disposable means ...
Posted by Ed Murray on Wed, 25 Apr 2007 02:57:00 PST

Quitting, Quitting, Quitting ...

And a quick Ed Murray/Emily Conbere joint on on cleansing, cleansing, cleansing.
Posted by Ed Murray on Tue, 24 Apr 2007 02:23:00 PST

The Best of The Last Remaining The State The Sketches

Only for the Bored and Enlightened.
Posted by Ed Murray on Fri, 06 Apr 2007 01:30:00 PST

But ...

... I don't want to hear it.
Posted by Ed Murray on Thu, 05 Apr 2007 01:41:00 PST

I've Got a Huge Fucking Problem ...

Have I mentioned that I love what I do?No, really ... I do.... I must. There's no other explanation for such behavior.
Posted by Ed Murray on Wed, 21 Mar 2007 04:31:00 PST

Finishing the Novel

Whenever I think I might be slightly humorous ... I see something this good.
Posted by Ed Murray on Mon, 19 Mar 2007 11:44:00 PST