Warren Holstein profile picture

Warren Holstein

Waka Waka!

About Me



I edited my profile with Thomas Myspace Editor V3.6 !

CLIP FROM THE FORTHCOMING DOCUMENTARY "SEX, DRUGS, AND COMEDY:

Come see me perform and find out...I AM REGULARLY AT STAND-UP NY AND THE LAUGH FACTORY. CHECK MY SCHEDULE FOR DAILY UPDATES. [ALREADY SEEN ME PERFORM BUT WOULD LIKE TO SEE ME AT YOUR FAVORITE CLUB? ASK THE MANAGER OR DIRECT THEM TO THIS SITE!!! WANT TO BE REGULARLY UPDATED ON MY RANDOM THOUGHTS AND RANTS? SIGN UP FOR MY BLOG TODAY!! ]

Check me out at: http://www.cringehumor.net/warren_holstein
CHECK OUT VIDEO TESTIMONIALS BELOW:

MY NEW SHORT FILM: "Talk Dirty to Me...":

My Interests

World Peace and/or Domination, origami, bonobo chimpanzees, existential phenomenology, shits and giggles, good burger, good karma, the detrimental effects of the psychiatric medical model via the mass media, spiderman, toblerone bars, strong coffee (fairtrade or not!), ribosomes and the endoplasmic reticulum, kids these days, itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikinis, Iyengar Yoga, the Kama Sutra (Frankie P. Remix), cheese and myself. Thank You.

I'd like to meet:

Jesus, Gandhi, Vishnu, Yaweh, Allah (not anytime soon though), John Cusack, Hitler (for a swift kick in the nutsack), the man behind the curtain, the man with the plan, "the man" (why must he insist on keeping so many of us down), Glora Steinem, Captain Crunch, Woodward but not Bernstein, Juan Valdez, Snoop Dogg, Rumplestilskin, Albert Camus, and Conan O' Brian. Thank You.

Music:

Silver Jews, Pixies, Pavement, Smog, Bob Dylan, Tom Waits, The Postal Service, Dizzee Rascal, Iron and Wine, Magnetic Fields, Neutral Milk Hotel, Wilco, Brian Eno, Pink Floyd, The Arcade Fire, Bloc Party, Oliver Nelson, Fats Waller, Charles Mingus, Miles Davis, Operation Ivy, Huggy Bear, Pedro the Lion, Spoon, The Sea and Cake, Ted Leo, The Unicorns, Ani Difranco, Yo La Tengo, Modest Mouse, The Kinks, Mos Def, Jurrasic 5, Belle and Sebastian, Nick Cave, Led Zeppelin, Neil Diamond, Screeching Weasel and much much more...

My Blog

HILLARY CLINTON IS A ROVIAN CUNT!

Hillary Clinton doesn't hate Karl Rove. She hates that he is not working for her. And now he is ...with this whole "bitterness" bullshit. Kind of an evil manipulative genius really. How to alienate...
Posted by Warren Holstein on Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:29:00 PST

BRITNEY SPEARS VA JAY JAY

By now I'm sure most of us have been privy to the crotch shot of the former bubble gum princess of the most putrid pedophile baiting pop. A friend of mine was nice enough to e-mail me the pics&all ri...
Posted by Warren Holstein on Fri, 12 Jan 2007 12:59:00 PST

WASHINGTON SQUARE CRISIS...

I witnessed a real mid-life crisis in action this afternoon. I was walking to Washington Square Park and saw a gray haired guy cruising in a Saab Convertible with the top down, wearing Raybans, smoki...
Posted by Warren Holstein on Mon, 29 May 2006 12:53:00 PST

ON THE OFFICE...

Working in an office sucks and although many of us in the comedy community often perform in front of audiences mainly composed of a water cooler demographic we dread even the idea of that alternate re...
Posted by Warren Holstein on Sat, 22 Apr 2006 11:37:00 PST

BEARDED LADIES ARE FUNNY IN THEORY...

Bearded ladies are funny in theory, even outside the circus...but when you actually see one its sort of sad.  Sitting alone on a park bench, all hunched-up and forlorn in a tattered terry cloth r...
Posted by Warren Holstein on Tue, 18 Apr 2006 01:15:00 PST

FUCK YOU GREEN TEA!!!

I love coffee. Strong. Black. Little sugar. The caffeinated confidence and mind racing illumination it stimulates as I slowly sip it, most likely in a Starbucks across from another Starbucks closest t...
Posted by Warren Holstein on Sun, 22 Jan 2006 07:42:00 PST

Seriously...Happy New Year....

Many of you here at MySpace have expressed a vast array of criticism concerning my previous holiday posts (see Blog for Thanksgiving and Christmas) to the effect that I was being too "jaded" and "cyni...
Posted by Warren Holstein on Sat, 31 Dec 2005 10:43:00 PST

HAPPY HOLIDAYS OR A....

JESUSY JESUSY JESUSY JESUSY JESUSY JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS SON OF GOD JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESU...
Posted by Warren Holstein on Sun, 25 Dec 2005 11:04:00 PST

To Richard...

Thank you Richard for bearing the insides of your soul. The beauty, the shit and the painful anguish. You gave your life for our art and had the balls to be vulnerable, flawed, and brutally, humanly h...
Posted by Warren Holstein on Sun, 11 Dec 2005 02:54:00 PST

6 AUDIENCE MEMBERS (3 LITHUANIANS WHO DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH)

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU CK!!!!!!!
Posted by Warren Holstein on Thu, 01 Dec 2005 08:58:00 PST