High, My name is Towelie. I was born in a laboratory. I am the RG-400 SmartTowel, genetically engineered with a computer chip inside my teracloth which senses the dryness of the user's skin so that I am able to fluff myself accordingly. I am smart enough to beat the average human at chess yet absorbant enough to soak up even the toughest spills. My home base was once at Tynacorp, but one day I got high and just sort of wandered off. That's how I got to meet Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Eric as well as many others from this great town called South Park!
I've published my memories under a false name to pose as a human, as no one was interested in the life of a towel. The name of my book is "A Million Little Fibres" by Stven McTowelie. Unfortunately tho word got out that I was a towel and the book turned out a be a flop. Now I'm high and dry with no cashflow and I have no idea what's going on. I need to shape up, fucus and come up with some real solutions to my problems, and fast. I'll just get a little high fisrt, because getting high makes me smart.
Now I've just been wandering around on my own for the past few weeks you know, helping people out with towel safety and proper towel use, it's important.