cunnilingus cha cha cha! cunnilingus cha cha cha!!Todd Montesi Trailer
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Cunnilingus (u readin' dis bitchez?), cunnilingus while perusing a novella, cunnilingus while playing b-ball, cunilingus while hiking, cunilingus while smokin d herb, cunilingus while playing twister (skittles bitchez), cunilingus while praying, cunilingus while drinking (Dat's right nasty bitchez), cunilingus while brushing my teeth, cunilingus while I'm fellatiated (u betta b nimbles bitchez), cunilingus while I excercise, cunilingus while I'm deteriorating emotionally (I'm a sensitive cunillinger, bitchez) Cunilingus in the mornin', cunillingus at night, cunillingus with Nietszche, cunillingus to my arch-enemies mothas, cunillingus to Scarlett Johanssen, Christina Aguilera, and Brooke Hogan at the same time (I likes me d young white bitchez), Kunnillinnguse whyle not yuzinz spellchek, cunnilingus in the land of makebelieve (lotta hos in Mr. Roger's 'hood bitchez), cunillingus while listenin' to Santana (both Carlos and Juelz bitchez), cunilingus on billy Idol Jr's momma, Cunnilingus for cunillingus's sake, cunnilingus while my bitch (the cunillingee) getz bukkakeed, cunnilingus for the advancement of science (Humanists know what a bitch wants bitchez), cunnilingus to quell the forces of evil (He-man ain't got nuttin on me bitchez), cunillingus on Mrs. Clause Christmas Eve. (Dat's what Santa getz fo' not hookin' me up wit shit bitchez), and of course, cunillingus to all the aspirins baby mommaz in the world 2-day (cuz if not for u, I'd b masturbating instead of cunillingiating)
Like-minded retards who're interested in starting up a Tears for Fears cover band, What da fuck do you think?!?Offices of the Hall of Justice
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Rock before all those sensitive hipster dorks and dotcom companies took it over, Rap when it scared white people, Country music when it was really REALLY REALLY REALLY "OH FOR THE SWEET LOVE OF MARTIN LUTHER KING JR'S DECEASED SOUL DON'T HANG HIM FROM THE TREE!" racist instead of just plain 'I likes what Bush's doin' generic racist that it is today, I liked Polka music when it was done primarily by Gypseys, I enjoy Yodeling if it's done by big-tittied Swiss chicks, Techno before it got all gay, The melodious sounds of 70's porn fuckin', And of course, The Beatles.... done via Arm-pit farting.
Charles Bronson killing tons of Niggaz (I guess that means he has a "Death Wish" for the black race! Ha Ha LOL ICRAKAMEUP), Pretentious european skin-flicks so avante-gardy I don't know what I'm supposed to masturbate to (or with), Old Skool Martin and Lewis shit, My man Robert Deniro when he's offin' somebody, Scorcese when he's not making films about asians, The R-kelly "oeuvre", Deer Hunter, Max Von Sydow's shznit, Charlton Heston back in the day, The Fat Boys in "Disorderlies", Old skool films that featured old skool rappers, Quo Vadis? (for real son, Quo Vadis?), My di-yak (Fo' real nig, he be starrin in his own etch-a-sketch sketches! You can also check out my si-yak at the UCB too! They're a 2-nut sketch group btwlol), And every other film that's boring, lame, and crappy. Why? Do you wanna make out and dryhump your girl during a Pauley Shore flick, or do you wanna bring your date to a George Clooney/Brad Pitt vehicle where she's gonna get moist offa dem clashing each other with their Light Sabers while she's ignoring yours? Dude, don't get C-blocked by Yoda!)
Early New Years resolution 2006: I ain't watchin TV unless I'm on it! edit 12/07/06 ) : I hate U Oprah.
I'm a post-modern renaissance nigga so I read and have read everything. (As you can just tell from that brilliant sentence. Suck it Derrida!) I want to "flip the proverbial script" as the kiddies born in the 80's would say, and mention the kind of books I don't read. So here 'tis fellow Hyperboreans, the top 10 list of books that don't get love from my BPL (that's Brooklyn Public Library bitchez) card. 1).- Anything written by a woman. (sorry I don't understand. I have a penis.) 2).- Scientology Literature (only if I really need to wipe my ass. really bad). 3).- Books written by 20thcentury French/Existential/PostnitzscheanDe-Reconstructionistic/Nihi list philosophers (merde.) 4).- Anything endorsed by Oprah (I even gave up Faulkner. His loss.) 5).- TV guide since Oct. '05 (That's when they switched up their format, those fuckers!!!) 6).- Tell-all autobiographies (I'm a raging self-centered megalo-maniac whose trying to subsume the whole world under my beneficent id, why the fuck would I care about your measly existence? Who the hell are you to think that your corny life would so enthrall me as to supersede my interest in myself? Did you invent anything in the past that benefits me now? Aha, thought so! So Shut da fuck up Benjamin Franklin!) 7).- How-to instruction manuals (I learn by trial and error, cause I'M A REAL MAN. bitchez.) 8).- Blogs turned into books . (see ..6) 9).- Newspapers (I write my own propogandistic extremist chauvanist rhetorical bullshit, why read more of that from somewhere else? That would be redundant. Duh. bitchez.) 10).- Kurt Vonnegut (screw him, he's weird. And he's got every dumb ass kid in Williamsburg trying to do car commercials).
My Di-yak. And also Gandhi (Because he resembles my di-yak. He smells like it too).