ARE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO LEAD YOUR EXPEDITION? LOOK NO FURTHER!
wherever you need to go, whatever you need to find, I CAN HELP YOU!
-reasonable rates (i only request a small perdium on top of expenses).
-i speak fluent english and spanish, and soon to learn russian (i hope), and more.
-i am skilled at sailing (i can also operate motorized boats), driving (any size vehicle, automatic or manual), seducing sexy female foreign agents, long distance walking/hiking, swimming, free climbing, horseback riding, and i can sled if i have to. MUSH!
-extensive knowledge of the physical world (BA in geography from CSUN, with an environmental studies concentration). i am also knowledgable about a wide variety of cultures.
-i can offer very detailed records of all expeditions, be it written, drawn, photographed, or related late at night in a drunken stupor. i am also a skilled mapmaker, and can use many GIS programs, should you want a computerized map. also, i can use GPS and read maps like you wouldn't believe. don't know where you are? just ask me!
-i know how to operate semi-automatic weapons. i also know several martial arts, such as tae kwon do, american boxing, kung fu, and the ancient and lost art of "hai danrun."
-i can grow an excellent beard.
-i have a variety of very cool hats, including a pith helmet!
contact me at [email protected] if you are interested!
i also play guitar/sing in the continental light brigade. add us!
and currently i'm playing keyboard/accordion/banjo/mandolin and singing backup for far from kansas (see the band profile in my top friends!
music stuff:
how to help: please, if you like the music:
-tell a friend! or two! get a jon crocker tattoo!
-bring someone new to a show. if they don't want to come, handcuffs always help.
-throw a party, and i will play at it. and drink your beer or soda, and eat far too many chips. because we need more parties in the USA.
-become a turbo elitist who only likes the cool underground stuff, and then mention me flippantly with such comments as "what? you've never heard of him?" people will then be shamed into liking me.
-ADD ONE OF MY SONGS TO YOUR PROFILE! (click the "add" button next to the song you like best).
-put me in your "top 8" (on myspace), because my picture is sexy and you know you can't help but share it.
nobody would hear the music without the help of all of you, as i have nobody to do these things for me. thanks to all of you who have done this (and helped in any other way) so far! you are the true music lovers.
to buy cds: if you like the music, please buy a cd! they are cheap and can be bought at shows (NOTE: CDs ARE ALWAYS $5 AT SHOWS...so there is more incentive to enjoy music the proper way!), through the "music" page on my website with credit cards or paypal (i also accept cash/check/money orders, email me for the address to send it to). or you can click on the buttons/links below:
the dust will settle (full length- 2008) release date: january 8th...only $7.99! (and it'll be $7 at shows)
track listing:
1. skipping stones
2. tall tales
3. all that i have left
4. when it breaks our bones
5. don't wait up for me
6. 6 day sinners' son
7. lap dog
8. i just can't say no
9. down, down, down
10. summer days
11. the dust will settle
order from bluetint records by clicking this button!
7 days, 6 nights (full length-2007) release date: march 13th...only $7!
track listing:
1. monday+nocturne
2. tuesday+nocturne
3. wednesday+nocturne
4. thursday+nocturne
5. friday+nocturne
6. saturday+nocturne
7. sunday
click this link to buy it from the greyday records online store!
(you can also read more info about the album in the online store)
edison-free sediment volume III (full length-2007) only $5! now available!
track listing:
1. how to be alone
2. 1998
3. cars that come from germany
4. long distance song 3
5. yes, i met the devil at the crossroads
6. lucky
7. on being an archaeologist
8. the battle of tunnel hill (august 6th, 2006)
9. on being a cartographer
10. electric lights
11. thomas edison
about this album: this is the third (and last) in a series of albums i made without the use of drums, bass, or guitar. the instruments being used are mandolin, banjo, piano, vocals, harmonica, whistling, and percussion (tambourine, shaker, cardboard box, hand claps, and finger snaps). enjoy!
death (full length-2006) release date: september 12th...only $7!
track listing:
1. state route 17
2. california
3. long time
4. st. ramon
5. museum
6. dopamine
7. how to tie a knot
8. moving right along
9. nocturne 7
10. at the edge of the ocean
11. now it happens every day
click this link to buy it from the greyday records online store!
more albums available on my website !
thank you for supporting independent music! (and helping me eat food)
to join the mailing list and get occasional updates about tours, releases, etc. (no spam, i swear), send an email to [email protected] with the word "add" in the subject line.
booking: if you want to book me to play in your town, email me at [email protected]. i tour regularly and am always open to new places. i prefer playing all ages venues and basement/house shows (no bars, please). in fact, i prefer playing the most random remote and small places. it's more fun and exciting.
oh, and about me: i write, perform, record, produce, and mix all of what you hear. i book all shows myself. you could say that i currently am enjoying the freedom of doing everything myself.
