Charlemagne profile picture

Charlemagne

There was no disintegration post 800!!!

About Me

Well firstly I was born in 742........King of the Franks initially.........conquered and ruled the largest Empire in Western Europe since the fall of Rome......crowned Emperor by the Pope on Christmas Day 800....generally spread christianity and killed pagans(those fucking Saxons were a pain in the arse though!).....many historians have emphasised how great I was and, quite frankly (no pun intended!) I am inclined to agree with them.For an excellent account of my life, read my old buddy Einhard's biography of me ('The Life of Charlemagne') here:http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/basis/einhard.htmlheres an extract:He was very forward in succoring the poor, and in that gratuitous generosity which the Greeks call alms, so much so that he not only made a point of giving in his own country and his own kingdom, but when he discovered that there were Christians living in poverty in Syria, Egypt, and Africa, at Jerusalem, Alexandria, and Carthage, he had compassion on their wants, and used to send money over the seas to them. The reason that he zealously strove to make friends with the kings beyond seas was that he might get help and relief to the Christians living under their rule.He cherished the Church of St. Peter the Apostle at Rome above all other holy and sacred places, and heaped its treasury with a vast wealth of gold, silver, and precious stones. He sent great and countless gifts to the popes; and throughout his whole reign the wish that he had nearest at heart was to re-establish the ancient authority of the city of Rome under his care and by his influence, and to defend and protect the Church of St. Peter, and to beautify and enrich it out of his own store above all other churches. Although he held it in such veneration, he only repaired to Rome to pay his vows and make his supplications four times during the whole forty-seven years that he reigned.

My Interests

Warfare against pagan people in Western Europe; generally spreading Christianity where I can; protecting the Pope; establishing a sustainable administration system (!); improving the literacy of the clergy and my subjects in general; eating a lot of meat

I'd like to meet:

Well really people should want to meet me not the other way round but, at a push, I can think of a few people I would like to chat to........firsty Napoleon and ask him what the fuck he was trying to do when he visited Aachan and my throne.....he really was a cheeky little bastard!. Also I would have a stern word with those cunts Fichtenau and Riche who seem to like to emphasise the negative aspects of my rulership (even though there werent any) and last but not least Clarkemagne and Rob Phileeeps in order to congratulate them on their excellent scholarly work in recent years. I see these two as my 'real' heirs

Books:

Well I can read so I do like books, although I wasn't able to write so I don't know how I have filled this thing in; I do like 'Charlemagne' by Matthias Becher (and any other books about me apart from Ganshoff's and Fichtenau's)

Heroes:

Well I am a hero myself, but I do admire Clarkemagne