RIGHT SAID FRED - Their story The two brothers Fairbrass, universally known as Fred and Richard since those are their names, decided it would be a very good idea to start a musical group. But a musical group, it is widely agreed, must have a name. After some head scratching, some lying down and some standing up, it came to them: RIGHT SAID FRED. One day, when they were walking home from the gym, they chanced upon a man called Rob Manzoli. This man was different to the brothers in one obvious way .. he had a thick mop of curly hair and was quite tall. This made them all laugh a lot. Rob said he was a musician, which astonished the brothers, since so were they. Deciding that there wasn't a moment to lose, they rushed round to Fairbrass Towers, made a pot of tea and wrote a song. Now, just like a musical group, a song needs a name, so they called it I'M TOO SEXY which they all agreed was a very suitable name. The three of them just knew that they'd written a real corker which could be extremely popular with members of the general public. Sadly, people at the record companies didn..t agree, and sometimes they didn..t agree very rudely! It seemed that laughing and having a good time was not very fashionable in record companies which Fred, Richard and Rob thought was very sad. Although this is not a fairy story there are fairies in it and like a lot of fairy stories a happy ending was what the two brothers and Rob their new friend wanted. And they knew that a happy ending would only happen if they played their song to as many people as possible, radio they all greed was just the thing-how clever we are they thought. So they made a list of all the radio stations which was not a very long list. Number 1 on their list was actually called Radio 1, they laughed for quite a long time at that, what a funny coincidence! When people heard it they liked it a lot which was a most gratifying thing to happen! So the record did find its way into the shops and very soon it was a number one hit in 30 countries including America which was so exciting they all had to sit down for a little while. By now the record companies had changed their minds about RIGHT SAID FRED and were laughing quite a lot-but they weren..t laughing as loud as or for as long as Fred, Richard and their new friend Rob, who were laughing very loud indeed! Fred, Richard and Rob decided that writing songs together was an excellent idea so they wrote another one called DON'T TALK JUST KISS and that was on the radio and in the shops and in the top five in 25 countries - and number one in America! Phew, what a whirlwind they said as they realised for the first time that they were now quite famous! Putting out one song at a time was all very well, but fans around the world demanded more! So they wrote 10 songs and put them all together, this was cleverly called an album! Just like musical groups and songs albums need names too so they called it UP. It was number one in loads of countries and Fred, Richard and Rob were given piles of Gold and Platinum albums. How disappointed they were to discover that it wasn..t real Gold or Platinum but just ordinary paint! It even came off when they played them. Richard and Rob both nodded when Fred said ..this is very disappointing!.. RIGHT SAID FRED went zooming around and around the world playing their songs on TV, radio and at live concerts. Merely saying the word ..zooming.. can make you quite dizzy but actually zooming anywhere in real life is quite a different matter! It was time for a lie down! But the music didn't stop as lots of people started playing their songs in movies, TV commercials and at big events where lots of people have a good time. But they were rather shocked to hear that one American man dancing to I'M TOO SEXY, at something called a.. lap-dancing club.., died from "unnatural excitement"! ..What..s unatural about I..m Too Sexy?.. asked Rob. Why nothing, nothing at all replied Fred reassuringly. Then Fred and Richard decided it was time to write another song. Like any song this too needed a name so they called it YOU'RE MY MATE and this too got into the top ten so they made another album which was called FREDHEAD. It got to number two, making the brothers very happy indeed! Now the brothers have some new songs which are cleverly put all together on an album called FOR SALE. A good name they thought because that..s exactly what it is! A single from the album, called WHERE DO YOU GO TO MY LOVELY? will be released and then the album will be in all the shops! Phew, this kind of oranisation can leave you feeling quite dizzy! This is not the beginning of the end of the story or even the end of the beginning. It..s not the end of the end or indeed the beginning of the beginning. It..s where we..ve all got to so far, what fun it..s been the brothers Fairbrass agree, they hope you do too! SOME NAMES,DATES AND RELEASES HAVE BEEN LEFT OUT TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT. © Right Said Fred 2005
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