R. Michael Gull™ profile picture

R. Michael Gull™

Tony Rezko is gonna buy me a house and then me and Bill Ayers are gonna blow it up.

About Me

OFFICIAL TRAILER FOR "VICTIM":
Here's the thing.....I'm an actor, writer, filmmaker and stand up comic....in that order (for now). I'll say the things you're afraid to say. I've pretty much had it with the whole "political correctness" thing. It's time to get back to telling it like it really is. Gloves off, bitches. Also, I'm a chainsmoker, drinker of cheap whiskey, former cokehead and pillhead, writer, reader, asshole, nice guy, screwup, swaggering prick, insecure boy, iconoclast, preacher, workaholic, lazy dreamer, fatalist, visionary, genius, moron, opinionated, openminded, adventure seeker, coward, renegade, pussy, winner, loser, sage, fool, warmonger, peacenik, conservative, progressive, lover, fighter, father, son.
I believe in shooting first and asking questions later. This has gotten me into a bit of trouble in the past. I'm presently working on it. If I don't like you, you'll know it. My "be nice to people I can't stand" skills are lacking. Life is too short to waste the time and energy required to give someone a phony smile while I'm really wishing them dead.
I've made my share of mistakes in the last 42 years. My job now is to correct them and learn from them. I owe some people some things...apologies, money, respect. I even owe a couple of people some vengeance. If you're one of the people to whom I owe an apology, money or respect....relax, it's coming. If you're one of the people to whom I owe vengeance....don't relax...ever.
Remember Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs" pyramid from your 1st year psych class? My pyramid is upside down. This has caused some problems in my life.
Started out in the early 80s wanting to be an actor, gave up too soon and started writing songs. Did that, with a small degree of success, until, 1994. Walked away from that and tried like hell to live like a normal person. That lasted seven years, right up until the moment I stumbled into stand up comedy. Stand up was exactly what I needed at that point in my life and I worked hard at it. Dove in head first and didn't look back....until the beginning of 2007, when I started acting again. Full circle. Now the acting has evolved into writing and producing films as well as acting in them. Who knows where this will lead?
I believe that no one should get a free ride. I believe that Michael Moore is possibly the worst thing ever. I believe that sometimes war IS the only answer. I own a gun and have never had a problem using it. I believe that if you earn a lot of money you shouldn't be penalized for it. I shudder to think what will happen to the Statue of Liberty when a Democrat is elected President in 2008. Brush up on your Chinese and Arabic, ladies, this will be interesting.
AFTER YOU READ MY BLOGS HERE, GO TO THE VITAL SOURCE MAGAZINE WEBSITE AND READ MY BLOG, "MESSIAH SIMPLEX". http://WWW.VITALSOURCEMAG.COM
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My Interests

Nothing. I have no interests outside of myself.

I'd like to meet:

Spent a lot of years looking for the muse. Then I gave up. Then she appeared, and turned out to be better than I'd imagined. I'd love to sit down for coffee with Gene Simmons because he's brilliant, and Albert Brooks for the same reason. Would have loved to have met Bill Hicks and John Lennon. And I'm seriously considering digging up Lenny Bruce and dryhumping his corpse.....but I'm not sure that counts as "meeting".

Music:

Stones, Beatles, Ramones, Sex Pistols, Dylan, John Lennon, Cheap Trick, Van Halen, Nine Inch Nails, Kiss (I can't help it), Boomtown Rats, Babys, Sweet, Tool, Miles Davis, Robert Johnson.

Movies:

Inherit The Wind, Midnight Run, 12 Angry Men, The Breakfast Club, Fight Club, Natural Born Killers, JFK, The People vs Larry Flynt, A History Of Violence, In The Line Of Fire, 2 Days In The Valley, Anything with Spencer Tracy, John Malkovich, Ed Harris, Jimmy Stewart or Cary Grant.

Television:

Boston Legal. I like to buy dvd sets of old tv shows. Favorite shows of all time: Bob Newhart, Odd Couple, Soap, Wiseguy, Andy Griffith Show, Dick Van Dyke Show, Mary Tyler Moore Show, Carol Burnett Show. And I've been addicted to General Hospital since 1981. I've tried to kick it, but I can't.

Books:

True crime books, any serial killer related nonfiction, everything dealing with the Kennedy assassination (I've read the Warren Commission Report), Autobiographies by people who have made a difference, historical nonfiction.

Heroes:

Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, Albert Brooks, Bill Hicks, Sam Kinison, Albert Einstein, Frank Sinatra, Elvis, James Dean, John Lennon, Henry Rollins, Larry Flynt, Gene Simmons.

My Blog

NEW DAY

Here's a thumbnail update on the various projects I have going.  It's entirely possible that I will end up either dead or completely insane by the end of this year.   "VICTIM"As many of ...
Posted by R. Michael Gull™ on Wed, 20 Aug 2008 08:01:00 PST

THANK YOU, TONY MILLER

For anyone who came from the Milwaukee Comedy Scene in the last decade, more likely than not Tony Miller was a big part of your formation as a comic. For years, Tony ran the comedy showcase/open mic ...
Posted by R. Michael Gull™ on Wed, 10 Oct 2007 08:13:00 PST

GROW IT, SHOW IT.....

So, I'm growing out my hair for the first time in almost seven years.  I'm doing it for a movie role.  Started shaving my head at the beginning of 2001 and haven't let it grow past a few day...
Posted by R. Michael Gull™ on Tue, 11 Sep 2007 09:00:00 PST

BOY TOY

I've pretty much reached my limit for tollerating people's incorrect usage of the term "Boy Toy".  For over two decades I've sat back and said nothing.  This is where it ends.The term first ...
Posted by R. Michael Gull™ on Wed, 15 Aug 2007 11:21:00 PST

V8 IS A SCAM

For about a week now, I've been buying a bottle of V8 on my way into the office almost every morning.  Good for you....vegetables...all that crap.Yesterday as I enjoyed my purchase, it came to me...
Posted by R. Michael Gull™ on Wed, 15 Aug 2007 10:57:00 PST

SPREADING MYSELF TOO THIN

Yesterday I woke up at my usual time, around 5:30am.  Made the 20 minute drive to the office and dealt with the ordinary day-to-day bullshit.  Left the office at around 6:30pm, which is on t...
Posted by R. Michael Gull™ on Tue, 24 Jul 2007 09:27:00 PST

FAKING MY DEATH

I've always wanted to fake my own death and disappear, starting over in some small town somewhere.  Not sure what the attraction is for me, but it's always been there, wandering around the back o...
Posted by R. Michael Gull™ on Wed, 11 Jul 2007 08:41:00 PST

The blessing, the curse, and all the latest

Today at around 11:30am, the reality of my new life hit me full force.  I was at my office, in a meeting with Adam Bucholz, the producer and director of my new film, Victim, (more about that in a...
Posted by R. Michael Gull™ on Mon, 25 Jun 2007 01:29:00 PST

WORK ETHIC

So here I sit in my office, looking out at the busy street.  It's raining and has been for at least a couple of hours.  This morning, a few of my employees expressed to me that they didn't r...
Posted by R. Michael Gull™ on Mon, 04 Jun 2007 12:11:00 PST

THE UNBEARABLE HEAVINESS OF BEING (OFFENSIVE).

Anyone who knows me or is even vaguely familiar with me is aware that I love saying things that most other people aren't willing to say.  I'll do it in private, I'll do it on stage, in a blog, in...
Posted by R. Michael Gull™ on Tue, 24 Apr 2007 07:29:00 PST