Wampus - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I got this email the other day and it made me happy: "Wampus. You probably don't remember me but my name is XXXXX, I am XXXXX's old friend from Houston, and I met you at XXXXX's wedding in Tulsa and had recognized you from Jeopardy fame. I remember you cutting the rug on the dance floor, pulling out your cell phone and making a call while still dancing, and thinking that might have been the most ingenious dance move I had ever saw. I actually thought of that brilliant dance move the other day while driving to work at the high school I teach at and thought I'd tell you what a great dance move that was. Take care."I am composed of one third coffee, one third beer and one third cheese. I really need fruit in the mix.I cheesemong and keep tabs on politics. I'd really like to debate people on the Internet, but refrain because it's silly to try. I love all, but I love Suzy the most. She's, as the Californians say, "rad".Do you Netflix? I like having Netflix friends just for the fun of it. Email me to get on the Wampus Netflix Friends Community Bus Boat.

My Interests

Homebrewing. Sooners. Adult kickball. Fireplace barbecues. Working Jeopardy! into conversations. Not ending sentences with prepositions. Two weeks in the future. Legal psychoactive gardening. Metascreenplays. Basketball in all its incarnations. Getting La Peral for the cheese case. Hosting dinner parties. Little Jack Russell Richardson. Different varieties of corn besides the monolithic species in your supermarket. Reconnecting with you so we can see how we grew up and are cooler.

I'd like to meet:

Anyone but your shitty band or skanks with webcams, even though you'd really like to meet me.

Music:

The Eccentric Soul Series (amazing stuff), Ween. Guided By Voices. Cornershop. The Separation. The Student Films. Starlight Mints. Flaming Lips. Gram Parsons. Silver Jews. Fruit Bats. Built To Spill. Del Tha Funkee Homosapien. Magnetic Fields. T Rex. Led Zeppelin. Parliament. Lee Perry. Sister Nancy. Bo Diddley. The Kentucky Shade. The Jesus Lizard. Monroe Mustang. Webb Pierce. Captain Beefheart. The Blues Explosion. Devo. Prince. The Zippadells. The Minutemen. Afrika Bambaata and the Soulsonic Force. Steve Reich. Alarm Will Sound. Brenda Lee. Le Tigre. souljazz records. Dead Kennedys. etc

Movies:

I hate movies where the main characters appear on TV or radio and there are shots of people sitting around watching/listening with their reaction shots. And I hate Robin Williams movies where he's being "funny" and they cut to shots of people laughing at his shit because you're not and they want you to know it's "funny."Sweet Smell of Success, In America, Old Joy, Marie Antoinette, A Scanner Darkly, Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill, Little Dieter Learns To Fly, The Squid and The Whale, Brokeback Mountain, Watch Me Jumpstart, Nashville, The Aristocrats, Good Night, and Good Luck. (I loved they had that period on the title page), Barbara Broadcast, The Freshman (Harold Lloyd not Brando), Flashpants, Steve Francis Feels Like Chicken Tonight, Chicken Tonight!, The Killing, Cat People (Simone not Nastassja), and that's it. Not a single other one.

Television:

The Wire. Just getting into the first sci-fi series I've ever watched more than two minutes - Battlestar Galactica. CurrentTV and Ovation are good channels. TV One's All Star Bid Whist Party Throwdown I-IV (in order I'd recommend III,I,II and then IV, but I love them all). Jeopardy! (I'm part of a family) The Daily Show, Gigantor.

Books:

Cheese Primer by Steven Jenkins. Full of drama and laughs.

Heroes:

Me and Mike Watt playing these guitars.

My Blog

List rejected by mcsweeneys.net

The lists on the McSweeney's website are always entertaining. I even had one on there once.The following didn't pass muster, but I came across it and thought I'd put it up here. CRANKY FIRST SENTENCES...
Posted by Wampus on Mon, 19 May 2008 02:56:00 PST

The Untapped Market

At the dinner table the other night, me, Suzy and the Doctor stumbled upon a saying that maybe no one in America has uttered. The thought now is to put it on a T-Shirt and see if ironic hipsters would...
Posted by Wampus on Wed, 27 Jun 2007 12:40:00 PST

My Top Ten Stories

The other night I was telling a story to someone and I realized I had told this story several times. I wondered how many times had I told that story and what other stories do I tell a lot? So I compil...
Posted by Wampus on Wed, 20 Jun 2007 10:12:00 PST

Back by unpopular demand

Last time, I put this up, I got 2 comments and ZERO kudos. I also got comments from people that it was "too painful", it made their "head hurt", and "are you feeling OK?" Sounds like it's due for a co...
Posted by Wampus on Thu, 29 Mar 2007 12:52:00 PST

A true Norman moment

While eating at the Diner, I saw Barry Switzer buying a Transcript from Calvin the Paperboy.Can't get more Norman than that.
Posted by Wampus on Fri, 01 Sep 2006 11:11:00 PST

Explanation

As of 6/16/06, my headline says "Ain't No Cripples In Heaven."This is an epitaph on a headstone in the cemetery near my mother's family's headstones. The sad part is the birth date is engraved, but th...
Posted by Wampus on Sat, 17 Jun 2006 08:03:00 PST

Tagged three times!

So Chaka, Scott and Josh E. all tagged me to do this goofball stuff so I guess I can't ignore it.OK, here I go.Here are the rules: The first player of this game starts with the "6 weird/things/habits ...
Posted by Wampus on Fri, 19 May 2006 06:00:00 PST

4 Things I love about downtown Norman

As long as I'm staying positive, I might as well continue the theme. Downtown Norman frustrates me sometimes especially since we're planning to open there. Here's things that I like about it.1. Guestr...
Posted by Wampus on Fri, 28 Apr 2006 12:30:00 PST

4 Things I Love About Norman

I saw some blog where people were tagging each other with certain memes like "things I love about LA" and whatnot. So I decided to try do a list here. I'll do the first 4 things on the top of my head....
Posted by Wampus on Tue, 18 Apr 2006 02:47:00 PST

Feel too happy? Then here.

My friend was putting some zine together and wanted some short humorous piece. I started this and it just got more and more depressing. What started as a riff off Michael O Donoghue's Churchill Wit, s...
Posted by Wampus on Fri, 09 Dec 2005 10:35:00 PST