my profile looks much better with netscape
and firefox than with internet explorer!
(which isn't saying much judging by how airplane charmaine my layout is)
la dulcinea
the lexicomicon:
the tin drum offline archive of rare and unused words
textures
memories
"wir funktionieren automatisch"
"musique non stop"
scars / cicatrixes
isolation
the sound of your voice
"travelling without moving"
(as conceptualized by frank herbert)
"the fascism of beauty"
(as conceptualized by marilyn manson)
"¡vamos a tomar hasta sangrar caca!"
(my uncle jose "chepe" maximiliano)
my own private vade mecum
quixotic landmarks
xuahacan "dia de los muertos" figurines
mexican sugar skulls
huichol yarn paintings
wicked woodcarvings
donny danger is just one click away!
anxiety and exile
cold medicines
"we just want people to have a good dining experience!"
millions of guts flying every-which-where
disco and break dancing
cognitive defense mechanisms and ulterior motives
but mostly i'm intruiged by: imperfections
i am human, first and foremost
there are only two types of people in this world:
the dead and the dying... which one are you?"
my mission statement: just here to meet people, discover new music and films, and perhaps broaden some intellectual horizons. having said that, i like who and what i like, and i will not make apologies for it. if i don't add you, there's probably a good reason for it (or maybe not), so just deal with it. here are some possible reasons why i did not / will not accept your request:
* my personality tends to veer towards gallows humor, pitch black irony, and coarse social commentary. however, i draw the line at outright sexism / fascism / racism / homophobia. if you're unsure of the difference, think twice before sending an add request. if i add you, it doesn't necessarily mean i agree with your lifestyle or beliefs, but you can express them in a way that shows me a new point of view or questions my value system. however, if you can't take criticism, please don't give it. and i won't subscribe to your newsletter, so to speak. save it for someone else.
* you are underage. more often than not i talk a lot of random angry shit (to say the very least) and i'm not going to censor myself because your "internet cop" parents take offense to the whys and wherefores of my opinions. there are underage people within my e*sphere, but they are family members or children of my friends. in other words, they know me in real life and are familiar with my work. they have consent to add me as a friend. remember that.
* there are no pictures of you on the profile. listen, if MY ugly ass can post pictures online, so can you. i HATE having my picture taken, i am not THE LEAST BIT photogenic, but i had to get over myself in order to put that point across. if you don't have a picture up, i'm going to assume you've got something to hide and i'll deny the request right away.
* music is my life, but it's obvious some of you don't even bother looking at the profile to see if you band even comes close to what i listen to. these are a few of the styles of music i will almost always delete outright: jock metal, date punk, emo, black metal, rap, country / western, adult contemporary, reggae... there's no rhyme or reason to my musical tastes, but i have a natural affinity for punk / hardcore, grind / death metal, and industrial / electronic. anything else i'll usually give a fair chance before deciding (i've had some pleasant surprises this way), but chances are if it doesn't grab me right away, then i won't add it. also, if i deny you once, just suck it up. i've had bands send me repeat requests and i've had to block them. if you're that desperate for friends, there's probably something seriously wrong with you.
also: if you send me a band page with NO MUSIC, i will deny you as fast as i can. anyone can SAY: "sounds like vomitory and a fine frenzy at an emo dead girl pants meat barbecue". unfortunately, my imagination is not that great (or that stupid), so i have to HEAR IT in order for me to add you. that's just how it goes. and you know how people say "sorry" when they don't want to hurt your feelings about something? i'm not one of those people.
* there are pictures of half-naked "models", pot leaves, sports teams, fancy cars, piss yellow beer, or cutesy fairies with lots of glitter on your profile. you can put that crap all you want on your myspace, just don't make me look at it. take it somewhere else.
* if you shorten words unnecessarily, misspell, use excessive "netspeak", can't put a sentence together, or otherwise make your page / bulletins annoying to read. is it really that difficult to find a spellchecker? www.dictionary.com is just a click away. take a fucking night class. make use of that high school diploma! some mistakes are within reason. if you're really that lazy, then you probably can't be bothered to do other things, like brush your teeth or wipe your asshole.
if you can abide by those relatively simple rules, then i'd be happy to befriend you. most of my life is spent working, and what little spare time i have is usually reserved for DVDs or concerts / shows so i'm not online that much. if you can handle the occassional lapse in communication, then we are good to go!
literally saved my life
in no particular order: hellacious hiemlich manuevers, abba, kraftwerk, repulsion, sex pistols, dead kennedys, slayer, atari teenage riot, confessor, melissa auf der maur, antonio carlos jobim, cannibal corpse, mick harris, cocteau twins, ray conniff, ministry, nausea / terrorizer, brujeria / asesino, brighter death now, portishead, eric b. and rakim, aphex twin, ramones, godflesh, walter wanderley, azonic halo, marilyn manson, garbage, bolt thrower, otep, perez prado, napalm death, devo, orbital, evanescence, sepultura, roni size and reprazent / breakbeat era, nirvana, fort knox, carcass, sergio mendes y brasil 66, DJ spooky, earth ("ambient metal" era), siege, walls of jericho, mary's danish, anal cunt, emergency broadcast network, misfits / samhain, the stooges / iggy pop, tito puente, shelby lynne, joao y astrud gilberto, lush, carnal forge, throbbing gristle, other star people / the shocker, queen, the mamas and the papas, the crystal method, doom, alison goldfrapp, brainoil, dark angel, avengers, lustmord, extreme noise terror, wanda jackson, front line assembly, joan jett / the blackhearts, dimensional holophonic sound, metallica (cliff burton era), entombed, herb alpert and the tijuana brass, SOB: sabotage organized barbarian, bebel gilberto, cathedral (doom metal days), autopsy / abscess / ravenous, black flag (chavo was their best singer, but you already knew that), mike patton, pentagram (US and chile), laibach, elastica, trevor perez (obituary / meathook seed / catastrophic), los tres diamantes, hellhammer / celtic frost, the fifth dimension, coil, fabulous disaster, DJ john kelley, dr. know, the residents / snakefinger (RIP), excel, merzbow, black sabbath, ultramagnetic MCs, miss kittin, carpenters, otomo yoshihide, vader, rammstein, wire, naked city / painkiller / leng t'che, trent reznor (quake) and rob zombie (quake II) and chris vrenna (american mcgee's alice), melt-banana, diamanda galas, all night radio, les claypool, beans, vomitory, kidney thieves, gabor szado, panAsonic, the ditty bops, mono / violet indiana, articles of faith, bad brains, digable planets, halo friendlies, bush tetras, probot, nasum, the soviettes, here kitty kitty, go betty go, amber asylum, red aunts, seven year bitch, evil stig, the angry amputees, witchman, electrocute, slick idiot, kathleen hannah (bikini kill / julie ruin / le tigre), the dining rooms, pig destroyer, buckethead, hafler trio, magazine, KMFDM, the plasmatics, michael jackson, deathstrike / master / speckmann project, frente!, armored saint, in slaughter natives, joss stone, the dillinger escape plan, manowar, okmoniks, the saints, coralie clément, ms. led, the mccools, suspiria franklyn, eisley, betty blowtorch, starfish pool, yma sumac (that's five octaves folks!), the three suns, retching red, keelhaul, cal tjader, nurse with wound, praxis, sixpence none the richer, fear factory, eydie gorme y los panchos, xecutioners, muslimgauze, dixie chicks, controlled bleeding (original) / skin chamber, NWA: niggaz wit attitude, pink martini, the fall, unseen terror, einsturzende neubauten, disgust UK, rancid hell spawn, geza x and the mommy men, public image ltd., possessed, texas tornados / los super seven, juliana hatfield, brazilian girls, martha wainwright, miranda july, ghoul ("maniaxe"), supreme beings of leisure, leng tch'e, dethklok, despised icon, avenger of blood, nicole atkins and the sea, blotted science, DJ? acucrack (more?)
and the music i discovered in the 80s including:
afrika bambaatta and the soul sonic force, grandmaster melle mel and the furious five, UTFO, run-dmc, the art of noise, frankie goes to hollywood, propaganda, the go-gos, depeche mode, human league, duran duran, adam ant, oingo boingo, the cure, thomas dolby, men at work, public image ltd., twisted sister...
above and beyond the call of duty
my friends' bands past, present, defunct, and what-have-you: stikky, discrepancy, kitty cat spy club / angora, lollygag, neon lobster, itiseye, the sausage business, collateral damage, high on fire, thanatoid guywire insurrections, corazonada, atomic mint (RIP), andalusia, exhumed, on the rocks, rythum pants, the black jetts, jenny piccolo, woolly mammoth, genokrich, united knife, bio-exorcist, the dewey decibles, el buzzard, hellsloth, cark, tech-no-logic-kill, inocencio marie, no use for a name (before they became "date punk"), mother earth, seethe, my butt hurts, brainless, wino hunt, highway, the drunken whores, jaswinder, plutocracy, wood, asbestos death, drippy drawers, red number nine, liquorball, dangerhaus, the curry merchants, killer crack, insolence (joey ruiz / venice speed metal version), operator:generator, nude and crude, intensified corndog havoc, SOS: shit onna stick, all my DJ friends who were too busy spinning records to come up with cool stage names, melting euphoria (only because luis was in it, the rest of them sucked), noothgrush (dumbest name ever!), moon satellite, plum, kalas, moggs, CAZ and slolee dyin, cretin, veil veil vanish, KMA, girl band, the razorburns, nat'l machine, human anomaly, l'Égrégore, cruel sweet smile, sassy (fabulous disaster and girl band), ex astris (plum and american chamber music)
stirs the soul
[NOT A DEFINITIVE LIST BY ANY MEANS / A WORK IN PROGRESS]
recently seen:
squidbillies: volume one
lost highway
frisky dingo: season one
dead like me: the complete first season
dead like me: the complete second season
tim and eric awesome show, great job!: season one
it came from beneath the sea: remastered / colorized version
earth VS the flying saucers: remastered / colorized version
iron man
the mist
turok: son of stone
alien apocalypse
diary of the dead
hotel chevalier / the darjeeling limited
indiana jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull
the strangers
the chronicles of narnia: prince caspian
it's always sunny in philadelphia: season one
it's always sunny in philadelphia: season two
you don't mess with the zohan
an evening with godsmack: house of blues, las vegas
nirvana: unplugged in new york
be kind rewind
the orphanage AKA el orfanato
in no particular order: sergio leone, orson welles, david lynch, alejandro jodorowsky, jean-pierre jeneut, wes anderson, spike jonze, terry gilliam, david cronenberg, lars von trier, luc besson, julie ('titus' / 'frida') taymor, e. elias merhige, george romero, the brothers quay, david fincher, peter jackson, alfred hitchcock, darren aranofsky (except 'below'), christopher nolan (minus that shite remake of 'insomnia'), guillermo del toro, alejandro gonzales inarritu, frank henenlotter, stanley kubrick, peter greenaway, the coen brothers, quentin tarantino, clint eastwood, todd solondz, terry zwigoff, neil labute, alex cox, timur bekmambetov and that's just off the top o' my head.
however, there's a ton of one shot films what done stirred me in a way that was strange but ultimately leading to any number of cognitive growth spurts. i could spend all night listing those, but this white background is getting to me, so let me tease you with the following titles (careful, i just learned the hard way that myspace doesn't like a lot of quotation marks):
leaving las vegas, sexy beast, ponette, zero effect, whale rider, donnie darko, the way of the gun, permanent midnight, ginger snaps, pitch black, session 9, one hour photo, swimming, final fantasy: the spirits within, y tu mama tambien, strange brew, bongwater, lantana, any of the original santo films, run lola run, boys don't cry, suture, man bites dog, love liza, american splendor, breakfast of champions, the craft, the re-animator, the classic punk documentaries ('suburbia', 'another state of mind', 'the decline of western civilization', 'the great rock n roll swindle', among others), the red violin, das boot, angels and insects, may, irreversible, the house of yes, event horizon... and the original foreign language versions of solaris, insomnia, and the vanishing. to name a few. =P
don't watch much television, especially now that DVD allows you to watch entire seasons of programs in one sitting if you are so inclined. that whole waiting around for an episode next week (and that's without reruns) is so 20th century. 'the shield', chris carter's 'millennium', 'cops', court TV's 'forensic files' and A&E's 'the first 48', 'damages' are top favorites.
why aren't these shows on DVD?:
batman
max headroom
the six million dollar man / the bionic woman
electra woman and dyna girl
johnny sokko and his flying robot
the flintstones
the mighty heroes
the pac-man / rubik the amazing cube hour
hammerman
solid gold and soul train
other programs include these childhood favorites: 'the dating game' (how could you not like a show featuring the music of herb alpert and the tijuana brass?), the old depatie-freling cartoons ('pink panther', 'the inspector', 'the ant and the aardvark') for having the best music ever, thanks to henry mancini. saturday nights belonged to bob wilkins and his 'creature features' program, hands down! one of my all time personal favorites is gerry anderson's 'thunderbirds'! give me scary puppets and loud jet engine soundtracks any day of the week! FAB!
and who can forget these saturday morning and after school classics? 'buster and me', 'vegetable soup" (some weird neo-hippie thing), 'hot fudge' (my cousin waldo's favorite show), 'school house rock', 'the electric company' (with rita moreno, and morgan freeman as easy reader), 'the great space coaster', 'in the news', 'mister roger's neighborhood', and of course ANYTHING by sid and marty krofft! oh wait, 'space 1999' and 'the six million dollar man' --- and last but not least, "sesame street"... which featured an actor by the name of roscoe orman (known on the show as gordon) from the 1973 blaxploitation flick 'willie dynamite'! available on VHS only, but definitely worth the trouble!
[adult swim]: aqua teen hunger force, moral orel, venture bros., home movies, futurama, tim and eric awesome show! great job, metalocalypse, frisky dingo, family guy, the super milk chan show, tom goes to the mayor, harvey birdman: attorney at law, squidbillies, the oblongs, astro boy, garth marenghi's darkplace
cable television can be educational if you give it a chance: what not to wear (stacy and clinton talk the best smack!), cold case files, mythbusters, dirty jobs with mike rowe, project runway / top chef / top design / shear genius, shalom in the home (rabbi schmuley always droppin' science), history channel, discovery channel, national geographic channel, science channel
nova express by william s burroughs
h.p. lovecraft (too many to list)
american psycho by bret easton ellis
the real frank zappa book by frank zappa, with peter occhiofrosso
the motorcycle diaries by ernesto 'che' guevara
any treville press (thanks REA)
captain zigler and 22X strips
post-mortem procedures: an illustrated textbook by g austin gresham
communicable and infectious diseases
death scenes: a homicide detective's scrapbook
the crying of lot 49 by thomas pynchon
the eyes: emetic fables from the andalusian de sade
the david lynch biography by michel chion
confessions of an heiress: a tongue-in-cheek peek behind the pose
by paris hilton
rebel without a crew: or how a 23-year-old filmmaker with $7,000
became a hollywood player by robert rodriguez
more to come
honorable mention
"[?][?][?][?][?]"
kerrang! magazine review
the guy working the door at the bottom of the hill when godflesh played their secret show: my friend gabby and i showed up early to get our hands stamped, then we went drinking in his van. the show was probably sold out before we'd finished our first beer. when we got back the guy let us in, but not kirk hammett (!!!) who was standing right behind us. it was the most hilarious thing in the world to see how pissed off he was! "don't you know who i am?" --- listen, i don't care if you're the biggest metallica fan in the world, that guy is a straight up asshole! and yes, it does take one to know one!
update march 2005:
mr. you-have-bad-taste-in-music
dante elefante
hellephant