The Fostering Parent profile picture

The Fostering Parent

Did you stop and look at the weeds today?

About Me

I am a former foster mom, who hopes to be able to foster again soon. My husband and myself fostered only for a little over a year, but fostering and adopting is a cause close to my heart. I was adopted by my grandparents when I was 3 months old. I was allowed to have an ongoing relationship with my mother, so I can appreciate an open adoption. I believe that both open and closed adoptions have their place. I also believe that families belong together whenever possible, but never at the expense of a child's safety nor in the presence of child abuse.
My husband and I are also hoping to adopt. When we first began our training for Tennessee DCS, we were going in as "adopt only" and having a child of our own was our motivation for getting our certification. But after being in the program we saw the need for temporary homes for children all over Tennessee (as well as every state), and we could not turn our backs on those kids. Children sometimes need only a temporary home while their families get things in order and learn to be better parents. Sometimes, they only need a hand up and time to get back on their feet. There are other times when they need someone to give permanency to their children when they cannot. Fostering is a noble cause when done for the right reasons. There is a need for improvement in the foster care "system" for the sake of kids that can easily get "lost" in it and for the foster parents who are easily overlooked and neglected! Children and foster parents deserve more rights!
According to Tennessee DCS' website, "Hundreds of children are in the guardianship of the State of Tennessee. The Department can find them foster homes, group homes and other residential settings. But children need a permanent home." Yet, we have been judged by Tennessee DCS as unfit to be parents to Tennessee's children who need homes. So I am here, to help those who can foster and adopt. I hope this site can be of help to many of my fellow foster parents, for I will always be a foster parent and the mother my kids taught me to be. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
----I have a personal space The Essence of Him , if you would like to just be my friend and are not interested in foster parenting or the topics that come along with it, please feel free to send me a friend's request. Of course, any friend on here, can join me over there too!---- *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

***PLEASE RESPECT THE PRIVACY***
***OF FOSTER KIDS ON THIS SITE!***


Please do not send pictures of your children to me or post them on my profile. In Tennessee it is against the law to publicly display pictures of foster children. I'm not sure whether this is a federal crime or not, so please check with your state. Please do not post comments on here, send messages, or comment on my blogs with any personal and confidential information about any particular foster children, that is not publicly known. It is Ok for you to ask questions or request my help in finding out information on a definite and direct problem or situation and it's Ok if you just want someone to talk to; however, the privacy and confidentiality concerning particulars about you and your child need to be respected here. If you need to talk, share advice, or receive advice, be general in your information, give no names, no genders (use his/her or they) and no addresses. This is for the safety of myself, for the safety of you, and most importantly - for the safety of your foster child(ren).
→ Please check out my friends' blogs for ←
→ more advice and tips for foster parents! ← Ten Kids
Kelly
End Child Abuse!
David Louis
Every Child Matters
Victoria Priceless
Mom With 2 Many Kids
BarbJT
A Healing Place
Teresa
Stand Up For Kids - Detroit
Mandy
Male Survivors
View my page on Foster Care Central

My Interests



Every year, thousands of teens transition out of foster care. Where do they transition to? Nowhere but the streets, unless we help them. The obvious answer is to give them a home and a family to support them into independence. No matter how old we are, we always want and need a home with roots and love. Adoption should be available for these teens way before they age out of the system. We can, however, also give them jobs and a belief in their futures.

Darkness After Foster Care

I'd like to meet:


My future foster children
&
the children we're going to adopt.

Music:



-I believe that only the power of God can help children
caught up in the "system" of foster care overcome
the obstacles that many

de-sensitized
"professionals"

put in the way of those who would love and cherish them!

May God give them an anchor to ground them
and wings to help them soar to life and love!

Movies:



Choosing Matthias

A family oriented movie about a married couple dealing with the pain of losing their young son. Years later, however, they are presented with the opportunity of giving a young boy who has lost his mother and father with a permanent home. Living from one foster home to another, the love of Maggie and Charlie are what this boy needs. It isn’t until the end of the movie that Maggie realizes that they need Matthias just as much. This is a movie that will remind your heart of God’s perfect will even in the face of imperfection and pain.

Books:


Beyond the Foster Care System
the Future for Teens
In this richly detailed and often surprising exploration of the foster care system, Betsy Krebs and Paul Pitcoff argue that the existing structure sets kids up to fail by inadequately preparing them for adult life. Foster care programs traditionally emphasize goals of reuniting children with family or placing children into adoptive homes. But neither of these outcomes is likely for adolescents. Krebs and Pitcoff contend that the primary goal of foster care for teenagers should be rigorous preparation for a fully productive adult life and that the standard life skills curriculum is woefully inadequate for this purpose. The authors, who together co-founded the Youth Advocacy Center in New York City, draw on their fifteen years of experience working with teens and the foster care system to introduce new ways to teach teens to be responsible for themselves and to identify and develop their potential. They also explore what sorts of resources—legal, financial, and human—will need to come from inside and outside the system to more fully humanize the practice of foster care.
Links
Foster Care Central --social network for foster parents
Tennessee Youth Advisory Counsel --created by foster youth for foster youth
Sunshine Girl on a Rainy Day -- Memoirs of a former foster child
Represent -- magazine written for and by young people in foster care
The Advocate --Tennessee newsletter offering support for advocates
be a FOSTER PARENT.com
ChildTrauma a*c*a*d*e*m*y
Foster Care Alumni of America
Foster Swap
Connect for Kids
North Carolina Child Services Practice Notes
Washington's DSHS Online Training
Foster Parent College
Adoption Institute
Foster and Adoptive Community Training
Minnesota Adoption Support Newsletter
By Parents for Parents
The Little Prince - Surviving Life with RAD.
Deborah Hage, MSW:CF Therapist
Centre for Children & Families in Justice System
Supernanny
Monday's Child (WBIR Knoxville Tennessee)
They're All Our Children
E-Zine Articles:Home & Family/Parenting
Children's Home Society of West Virginia
The Pew Commission on Children in Foster Care
Attachment and Trauma Network
Help One Child
Helping Teens Org
Perspectives on Youth
Foster Parenting Podcast
Omni Visions
A Place of our Own
National Foster Parent Association
Directory of State Foster Parent Associations
National Fathers Network
The National Parent Information Network
Voices for America's Children
Children Now
Lifting the Veil -- older but useful
Practical Parenting Advice
Pratical Parenting -- different from above
Family Fun
Annie E. Casey Foundation
Learning Disabilities Online
Parents Helping Parents
Suitcases for Kids
National Parents Network on Disabilities
Trauma Headquarters
Rainy Day Resource Page
The Future of Children
Relative Danger
Fostering Families Today
Foster Parent Maze blog
Adoption Information Center of Illinois -- great articles!
Kids Off The Couch
Parenting Solutions
Focus Adolescent Services
RadKid.Org
Voice for Adoption Org -- advocating info,updates on legislation/proposals
The Transition From Foster Care
The above is a link dealing with transitioning
out of foster care (state by state)
Children's Assessment Center - Grand Rapids, MI
Just Tell --advocating and encouraging children who have
been sexually abused to speak out
Conduct Disorders.com --Support for parents of difficult children

Heroes:



Jesus Christ, the savior of my life and soul

My grandparents, who taught me how to love

My husband, who saved my heart and dreams

My foster children, who taught me to be a mother

My Blog

Juvenile courts feeling a crunch - Tennessee

October 25, 2008 Juvenile courts feeling a crunchBy STANLEY [email protected] A cut in state funding for mental evaluations at inpatient facilities has area juvenile courts worried. Judges ...
Posted by The Fostering Parent on Tue, 28 Oct 2008 08:23:00 PST

Mother may be charged in neglect of 2 children (adoptive mother in Tennessee)

The Tennessean.comOctober 23, 2008 Mother may be charged in neglect of 2 children  HARRIET VAUGHAN A Spring Hill mother may face charges after her children were found wandering the streets Monday wit...
Posted by The Fostering Parent on Tue, 28 Oct 2008 10:17:00 PST

How Being a Former Foster Child Can Affect an Adult

How Being a Former Foster Child Can Affect an AdultBy Terri Rimmer, published Nov 13, 2007Having been in four foster homes as a teenager, I can tell you the many ways it affected me as an adult.For on...
Posted by The Fostering Parent on Fri, 24 Oct 2008 05:53:00 PST

Living in Foster Care: Advice from Teens Who Have Been There

Living in Foster Care: Advice From Teens Who Have Been ThereBy Melody Jones, published Oct 30, 2006(http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/77048/living_i n_foster_care_advice_from_teens.html?cat=7>"O...
Posted by The Fostering Parent on Fri, 17 Oct 2008 10:29:00 PST

Teens in Foster Care Hold Out Hope for Adoption

Although this article is over 2 years old, I felt it had very heartwrenching insights. For that reason, I decided to post it.  I don't know if Ruben ever got adopted or not.Teens in Foster Care H...
Posted by The Fostering Parent on Fri, 17 Oct 2008 10:01:00 PST

Report grim on teens after foster care

Report grim on teens after foster care By David Abel, Globe Staff  |  June 5, 2008 In the first report of its kind on the foster care system, a survey of teenagers who recently left state cu...
Posted by The Fostering Parent on Fri, 17 Oct 2008 10:06:00 PST

Tennessee DCS dropping foster homes - true news report

DCS dropping foster homesBy Jim BellisStaff writer Some foster homes throughout Tennessee are closing, and Robertson County is no exception. To date, the Department of Children's Services has taken a...
Posted by The Fostering Parent on Thu, 16 Oct 2008 11:21:00 PST

Housing sought for kids too old for foster care -- Utah

Housing Sought For Kids Too Old For Foster Care - UtahBy Heidi Atkin Close-Up CorrespondentSalt Lake TribuneThe Salt Lake County Youth Government Commission intends to minimize homelessness by creatin...
Posted by The Fostering Parent on Wed, 15 Oct 2008 06:02:00 PST

New law meant to improve stability for foster care

New law meant to improve stability for foster care By DAVID CRARY For many thousands of America's foster children, prospects for a permanent home and stronger support will be brighter under a new law...
Posted by The Fostering Parent on Wed, 15 Oct 2008 04:54:00 PST

How to Adopt a Teenager without going NUTS!!

How to Adopt a Teenagerwithout going NUTS!!written by Kristean Thompson "You adopted a teenager? Are you nuts?" I have been asked that question many times. What would they say if they only knew we ha...
Posted by The Fostering Parent on Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:06:00 PST