Tyler Azelton

Once upon a time in a land--oh, not so far away--a beautiful young woman was getting her groove on with her man and: TADA!--the little seedling that would become Tyler sprouted into existence. After what we can only suppose was a very long and difficult journey, the seedling that would be known as Tyler found refuge in the warm comfort of the Egg and the Powers That Be went quick to work on the seedling--using all the attributes and characteristics it could from the chest that read: "Rarities and Oddities" and "Miscellaneous."Nine months and 26 hours of labor (!) later, the seedling was hatched from a most-aggitated birth canal and although its mother no doubt had impulses to strangle the now newbie baby for giving her such a ..$%@! of a time, she looked at the newcomer, foresaw that it may in time desire to be a cross-dresser, and hence bequeathed it with the androgenous name Tyler.For the next 27 years, Baby Tyler took it upon herself to create only as much drama and pandemonium as she did on route to the world beyond the embrionic sac, and although there were undoubtedly some moments when dear mom and others wanted to again strangle this head-trip, the world for the most part opened its wide arms to her and showered her with the love she was so eager to receive.At present, now-adult Tyler finds herself playing with musicians who are far more talented and skilled than she, and has a real and honest fear that one day the Truly Significant and Outstanding Musicians Agency will come knock down her door and demand that she not attempt to disguise herself as one of them any further. Until then, however, she plans to continue writing songs--a process she realizes consists merely of screwing around and making a whole lot of mistakes and then playing those mistakes over again--trying to get the attention and respect of a bevy of pre-adolescents who expect a music education, and obsessively shop for items on Amazon that she is unable to afford.Tyler also can't help but document the sad truth that she has somehow managed to, despite all convictions held previously, create a truly ludicrous baby-voice with which she speaks affectionately to her significant other. Tyler would be more disturbed by this development were speaking in "the voice" not the instigator of so much joy and laughter. For truth be told: God put Tyler on this planet to laugh--this he has made perfectly clear through the abundant crazy situations and personal quirks that have crossed her path. She is unfortunately guilty of taking herself and life just a little too seriously at times, but this tendency is usually thwarted by a propensity to laugh easily and heartily--a gift that is reserved for not enough, and one that is among the most cherished of Tyler's possessions.So, if you ever decide in the listening of Tyler's music that she is indeed the dark, disturbed, utterly serious person she appears to be, just remember these few things:1) Tyler won an award for "Most Innocent" in the 10th grade--a fact that, if you knew her pre-John-period, would make you laugh yourself silly 2) Yes--it's true--she has worn the tiara, the sash, even if it isn't --AND IT ISN'T--what you think 3) Her mother still dresses her 4) When she was in high school, she had the bright and progressive idea of wearing all her clothes simultaneously in hopes of starting a new trend. Shockingly, her style never caught on with the public. and 5) She still laughs when she farts. Thanks for reading! Enjoy your life.... check out my band, DEEP 6 HOLIDAY!