Derek Zoolander - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Well what can I say, besides the fact that I'm really, really, ridiculously good-looking...It's something I work on every day, in between orgies, and Evian baths, you know. I guess it comes naturally to me to be really ridiculously good looking. You know, the original Greek word, model, means misshapen ball of clay, and I try to think about that every time I get in front of the camera. I can't help that I was born with this perfect bone structure, or that my hair looks better done up with gel than hidden under a stupid hat with a light on it. I remember the first time I realized what I wanted to do when I was older...It was during my first time in the 2nd grade, I caught my reflection in a spoon while eating my cereal, and I remember thinking, 'Wow, you are ridiculously good-looking. Maybe you can do that for a career.'

My Interests

Orgy-ing. Are you listening, Olympic people? Goodwill games people, anybody? I also like to model, and I find it very easy because I am really, really, REALLY, ridiculously good-looking.

I'd like to meet:

I don't know. I mean, it really depends on where we're meeting. For instance, I definitely wouldn't want to meet Hitler at the Carnegie Deli.But really, I'd like to meet all of you, preferably at an orgy. If you send me a message, I may not respond. Not because I can't read, which I can, sort of. But because I am way too busy flying around the world modeling and stuff. I only get to log in here once a week, and there are usually thousands of messages and new people who want to be my friend. If I don't write back to you, don't be sad...the D-Rock still loves you, but he just doesn't have time to write back to everyone. That, and my pen is almost out of ink, and I have to keep replacing computer screens every week because of it.

Music:

I like classical music, especially "The Thong Song" by Sisqo. Oh, and "Relax", by Frankie Goes To Hollywood...that song gets me all hyped up and makes me want to do Karate for some reason.

Movies:

Anything with John Forsythe in it. The man's the greatest male model who ever lived, and he doesn't even know it.

Television:

Citizen Kane. I love John Candy.

Books:

I just read the first two paragraphs of the novel by Britney Spears and her mother, and it's already my favorite book. Brava!

Heroes:

Fabio, Maury Ballstein, Santa

My Blog

I'm bathing...

That smiley almost looks like Magnum.I'm bathing right now, all alone, in my 20 person bath tub. I wish I had 19 really, really, ridiculously good looking people with me. Mostly women, of course. I'm ...
Posted by Derek Zoolander on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

My thoughts on mortality...by Derek Joseph Zoolander, Male Model

The male models life, is a precious, precious commodity. Just because, we have chizzled abs, and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak, gasoline fight accident...
Posted by Derek Zoolander on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

I got into a walk off today...

I was down on the boardwalk in South Beach shopping today, when I ran into some wannabe male models. I was looking at myself in the mirror trying on a pair of Gucci glasses when I saw one of the wanna...
Posted by Derek Zoolander on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST