SATAN AMPS presents the new….
SatanAmp BL-Z Sub Harmonic Bigulator
Here at SatanAmp we take amplifier design very seriously. So seriously in fact, that this time we decided to take a fundamentally different approach to the way that we considered looking at designing and indeed building a new amplifier. For us it was all about one thing: the sound. We wanted to start with that sound and work backwards from there until we had built something that would not only be able to create that sound but would be able to deliver it too: from the unbelievably low bottom right up to the unfathomably high top! Not content with using the materials available to other manufacturers, we ventured far out into the cosmos to source the best that space-flotsam had to offer. The interaction between these new materials and our atmosphere demanded that we come up with a new way for amplifiers to amplify. And boy did we do it. Read on…..
So here it is. An amplifier to end all amplifiers. A new design to which all future designs will be compared. People will ask: How does it work? What’s that bit for? And, why is it so big?
But before all these questions will come another question: what does it sound like? If you think you are ready to find out, then click here [you must have Photon-Reblend (PR) software installed. For installation, click here] or alternatively go to your nearest SatanAmp stockist [for a list of dealers, click here].
Tech-stuff.
By building our chassis out of patented Micro-Crystal Alu-Oxide (MCAO) and coating the lacquer-coated finish with a hi-gloss dual-action melanin block we’ve taken amplifier design into and beyond the twenty first century: all in the name of tone! Our new Three-Channel Multi-Tonal (TCMT) Operating System (OS) offers never-heard-before sonic manipulation that’s never been heard before.
Channel 1 is sparkly clean with un-precedented high-end clarity, enough for any discerning player who likes his or her bass to come with built–in treble. By routing all of the tone through Ardox-X filtration filters none of the subtle nuances of your playing are lost.
Channel 2 is the real ‘goat’s bladder’ of the amp: this is where it all happens. Macro-Dermolastyl Thermo-Volumising Pearl Protein (MDTVPP) tubes are set in quasi-ceramic tube-sets, sealed with our unique Vitabiotic Tone Seal (VTS) to deliver the smoothest drive ever on any channel 2 of any amp ever. At least any amp that’s ever been made.
But then with Channel 3 things really start to hot up. By combining our new Light Reflecting Booster (LRB) circuit with the excess Renovistic Glycol Acid (RGA) squeezed through from channel 1 and the surplus patented Super-Stay (SS) fed-back from channel 2, the Co-Resistium Technology (CRT) we’ve employed here allows up to 85% more rock in almost every application!
Lastly our PAF (patent applied for) Multi-Input Cardioid-Emulator (MICE) gets the best out of all pick-up styles: from the old Nanosome Conductors on your favourite P-Bass right up to the most modern Blu-Tooth (BT) wireless models that won’t even be invented until spring 2009.
This is not an amplifier to be approached with anything other than awe. And fear. Fear for your hearing and fear for your childrens’ souls when they hear the demon-summoning mega-power of even the fruitiest of jazz flourishes. This amp kills babies without even having the footswitch plugged in!
So, don your favourite armour plated earmuffs, dig out your best titanium plectrum and head straight to hell to try out the amplifier that will rip out your heart and steal your soul!
[Parents please note: packaging may also be dangerous.]
Recommended Retail Price: $your soul.
Have a look at the official Amplifier merchandise
